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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stuck in the car park AIBU?

369 replies

CindersCatsSister · 15/05/2021 10:19

Well this is annoying. Just got out of my car at the car park in the (small) town centre and noticed in the car next to me a child, looks to be about 4 or 5, by themselves. Quite happily reading a book but all alone. I thought oh I’ll just hang on here until his parent gets back but it’s been 15 fucking mins now and I’ve got shit to do. But I want to keep an eye on him in case (of what, I don’t know). Am I being (too much of) a busybody?

OP posts:
sumpplneedshaking · 15/05/2021 12:26

You were definitely being a busy body. You didn't leave your kids alone in the car until high school fuck off. You wouldn't leave a 10 year old alone in the car yeah right.

Not your child, not your business unless in real danger.

TheQueef · 15/05/2021 12:31

I'm still smarting from the middle class sleer. Hmm @grantoderek

Anyway good job OP, kept an eye and didn't make a fuss, here is an internet back pat 👏.I

dottiedaisee · 15/05/2021 12:40

If the child is reading a book he is probably older than he looks,he is not distressed so I would not be concerned.
If it was a hot day,child crying then I would try and seek help.
TBH the probability of a child snatcher lurking in a small town centre is pretty non existent!
Cannot remember the last time I heard of a child being snatched from a locked car .

thedancingbear · 15/05/2021 12:40

@sumpplneedshaking

You were definitely being a busy body. You didn't leave your kids alone in the car until high school fuck off. You wouldn't leave a 10 year old alone in the car yeah right.

Not your child, not your business unless in real danger.

What a lot of semi-literate nonsense.
Confusedandshaken · 15/05/2021 12:45

@Streamside

Very few cars nowadays would let you lock a child in without the alarm going off so I'd assume the cars unlocked. Phone the police and report it, otherwise you'll not be able to get it out of your head.
I have recently taken delivery of a 2020 reg Aygo. It doesn't have an alarm or even an immobiliser. I guess because it's so tiny no car thief would want it. It's my little Noddy car and I love it. I wouldn't leave a 5 year old in it though.
PerpendicularVincent · 15/05/2021 12:48

@houseonthehill

"Everything OK, love?" "Yes, Mummy. But a creepy lady was looking at me for a long time. I didn't look back."
This makes no sense.
bonfireheart · 15/05/2021 12:49

@sumpplneedshaking what a weird thing to get irate and sweary about.

lollipoprainbow · 15/05/2021 12:49

Shocking no way would I leave even my 8 year old alone in a car!!

Namechange199x · 15/05/2021 12:49

Can I leave my 10 yrs old in the car for a quick small shop to Sainsbury’s?
She hates going in with me and prefers to stay in the car.
I always worry that if I leave her inside , some busybody will call police etc.. so I did not leave her yet.
Also if I lock the car from outside, it starts beeping after few seconds if she inside??

Cassilis · 15/05/2021 12:52

@Namechange199x

Can I leave my 10 yrs old in the car for a quick small shop to Sainsbury’s? She hates going in with me and prefers to stay in the car. I always worry that if I leave her inside , some busybody will call police etc.. so I did not leave her yet. Also if I lock the car from outside, it starts beeping after few seconds if she inside??
If you’re asking here then you’re not ok with it.

And you’d be the one moaning if something happened to your child and a ‘busybody’ didn’t get involved.

NewPapaGuinea · 15/05/2021 12:52

The only time I’d leave my DS (4) alone in a car is to go and pay for petrol where you’re in and out very quickly and can see the car. Is something likely to happen? Probably not, but why chance it.

Notmoresugar · 15/05/2021 12:53

YANBU
His mother is a careless fool.

MintyMabel · 15/05/2021 12:54

I never left my kids in the car until they were secondary school age

How fortunate for you that you didn’t have a child with a mobility disability who uses a very heavy wheelchair and is difficult to manoeuvre out of the car and around the often inaccessible store. I’ve had to leave her alone in the car for ten minutes while I nipped to the shop. Thankfully, most people aren’t so judgy that they would stand and wait around the car until I returned or called the police on me. I don’t do it often, but sometimes it is unavoidable. I’ve had to do it since she was about eight and became too heavy for me to lift safely and she moved into a much bigger wheelchair.

Beamur · 15/05/2021 12:57

My alarm would go off it there was someone in the car.

Sweettea1 · 15/05/2021 12:59

Would you leave a 5 year old in house alone? No 5 year old should be left unsupvised for long periods of time. Everybody saying she's a busybody I hope you have no children and if you do seek out a local parenting class ASAP. Yes report this I have a 5 year old no way would I leave her unattended while I go on a shopping spree.

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 15/05/2021 13:05

Child sounds fine. Biggest risk to her is an overreaction from a bystander😂

bendmeoverbackwards · 15/05/2021 13:11

@Shoxfordian

It’s not your business so go about your day
Bollocks. Child protection is EVERYONE’s business.
HalfTermHalfTerm · 15/05/2021 13:11

Rurally where we live, they travel on a bus from 4.

But that’s a school bus, presumably? Not public transport.

I did smile to myself about someone reading Dracula at 5. Literally reading it? Potentially, if very advanced. Actually understanding it? Not a chance I would say!

QweenJinx · 15/05/2021 13:11

I couldn't walk away either- you don't know if something has happened to the guardian. Better to overthink things than be someone who stands by and does nothing.

bendmeoverbackwards · 15/05/2021 13:13

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying

Child sounds fine. Biggest risk to her is an overreaction from a bystander😂
When it comes to child safely, much better to overreact than under react.
bendmeoverbackwards · 15/05/2021 13:16

Some of these replies are shocking. Do we really live in a walk on by society? I would like to think adults would help my child if they were out and about and got into difficulty. And not just walk away because it’s ‘not their business’.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 15/05/2021 13:17

But what ‘difficultly’ was the child in, @bendmeoverbackwards?

ArnoJambonsBike · 15/05/2021 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheQueef · 15/05/2021 13:19

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying

Child sounds fine. Biggest risk to her is an overreaction from a bystander😂
Biggest risk in ours is spice addicts begging. Unpleasant for an adult.
MintyMabel · 15/05/2021 13:20

When it comes to child safely, much better to overreact than under react.

This kind of cliched bullshit winds me up.

The child was fine, the risk was low. How much better for the child would it have been if the OP had done as was advised, called the police who turned up and took her for questioning, contacting social services, only to have everything eventually dismissed because there was nothing risky about what she had done and no signs of neglect?

Over reaction has consequences for children too.