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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stuck in the car park AIBU?

369 replies

CindersCatsSister · 15/05/2021 10:19

Well this is annoying. Just got out of my car at the car park in the (small) town centre and noticed in the car next to me a child, looks to be about 4 or 5, by themselves. Quite happily reading a book but all alone. I thought oh I’ll just hang on here until his parent gets back but it’s been 15 fucking mins now and I’ve got shit to do. But I want to keep an eye on him in case (of what, I don’t know). Am I being (too much of) a busybody?

OP posts:
LouNatics · 15/05/2021 11:44

It isn’t illegal to leave under 12s unattended Confused

How could that ever work? For a start that’s past secondary age.

Define unattended! Are you suggesting letting yr7 children walk to school alone is illegal?

Ponoka7 · 15/05/2021 11:44

@lydia2021

"It's illegal to leave under 12s unattended. Police matter."
No it isn't. They shouldn't be left at home for long periods of time. Meanwhile many do journeys to school, alone involving public transport.

RedcurrantPuff · 15/05/2021 11:45

@LadyMonicaBaddingham

This would 100% be a 101 call for me. If it's been a quarter of an hour since you noticed, who knows how long the little one had been there before you did? Anything could happen.
This. That’s too long to leave a child that age alone
tywysoges · 15/05/2021 11:48

I was about to post what a few pps said. I know the average MN child is very tall for their age but some of us have small ones - DD was still in a 5 point harness car seat aged 7, wearing the same uniform she wore in reception (because it was the smallest size available). Still no excuse, mind, I wouldn't have left her for more than 5 minutes at that age because I was one of those children who released the handbrake when I was little. I probably would have rung the police for advice at 10 minute mark myself.

PaleGreenGhost · 15/05/2021 11:48

My partner has accidentally locked me in the car twice when nipping into a shop. Sitting trapped in the car with the alarm was not especially fun.

I'd be concerned too op. Alarming number of attempted child abductions reported in South London recently. I don't know if it's the usual rate or if reporting on this subject has increased.

Lightswitchesoffatnight · 15/05/2021 11:49

101

TheresNothingIWantMore · 15/05/2021 11:53

I'd call the police too.

Reminds me of this story where someone stole a car, then on realising there was a child in the back returned it and lectured the mother for leaving their child and threatened to call the police!

www.google.com/amp/s/www.kiro7.com/news/trending/car-thief-threatens-call-police-mother-who-left-child-backseat/PDFCHJLQXBCM7HYCXHYRPSBVT4/%3foutputType=amp

WingingItSince1973 · 15/05/2021 11:55

Wow those advocating leaving 5 year old in cars is worrying. Chances are they will be fine but why chance it when it takes a little extra effort to take them into the store with you.

newnortherner111 · 15/05/2021 11:56

So OP, what did you do and is the child safe with a parent now?

mam0918 · 15/05/2021 11:56

@Streamside

Very few cars nowadays would let you lock a child in without the alarm going off so I'd assume the cars unlocked. Phone the police and report it, otherwise you'll not be able to get it out of your head.
you can turn the alarm off... I sit in the car with the kids while DH pops into the shops or goes to pay for petrol etc... and he just presses a button to disable the sensors in the car.
LST · 15/05/2021 11:56

@lydia2021

It's illegal to leave under 12s unattended. Police matter.
Yeah. Thats not a law
kowari · 15/05/2021 11:58

They should take down those 'shop alone where possible' signs. I know children are usually exempt, but it still makes some people feel anxious or unwelcome taking them in.

Cherrypies · 15/05/2021 11:59

@Ponoka7

Last night I ran into Lidl just for veg. If I had have had a car parked outside it would have been out of my sight for a minute. While stood in the queue, looking out of the full glass windows, the till froze. So I was in there a lot longer, but could have left the queue and been out in seconds, if I needed to. I've had people wait by my German Shepherd to try and give me a lecture. I knew my dog as this parent knows their child.
Have you not heard of the high increase of dog theft, someone else will be quite happy to get to know your German shepherd if they can make profit out of him/her, that's why people are concerned. I wouldn't leave a child either.
oneglassandpuzzled · 15/05/2021 12:00

@lydia2021

It's illegal to leave under 12s unattended. Police matter.
It’s not.
mam0918 · 15/05/2021 12:00

[quote Ponoka7]@lydia2021

"It's illegal to leave under 12s unattended. Police matter."
No it isn't. They shouldn't be left at home for long periods of time. Meanwhile many do journeys to school, alone involving public transport.[/quote]
Who are the 'many' under 12 that travel to school via public transport alone?

There was 1 child in my DS school (about 8 years old) who use to walk alone and it attracted a lot of attention and many parents enquired about the safety of it to the school.

Thats the only kid I have ever known of thats travelled alone to school under the age of 12 and she lived down the street so no transport needed (although she did have to cross a busy road hense peoples worry).

lydia2021 · 15/05/2021 12:05

Well said @mam0918. Neglect is still true today as it's ever been

tywysoges · 15/05/2021 12:05

Who are the 'many' under 12 that travel to school via public transport alone?

Most children at the start of Year 7?

kowari · 15/05/2021 12:06

Who are the 'many' under 12 that travel to school via public transport alone?
Many secondary school students. Some do not turn 12 for a full year.

paniniswapx3 · 15/05/2021 12:06

Any update Op?

Clawdine · 15/05/2021 12:06

@mam0918

Are you seriously saying that children in the first year of secondary don’t travel to school alone? That’s simply untrue. At my DCs school they encouraged them to do so in year 6. We are in central London. In my day it was much younger.

LST · 15/05/2021 12:07

@mam0918 literally every year 7 and up around here get to school themselves. In fact most of my dcs primary school from year 5 and up get to school themselves. There are 3 in my dc class who is in year 4 that walk on their own.

LunchBoxPolice · 15/05/2021 12:11

I’m surprised to see how many people think this is ok.
I would report it, leaving a child that young unattended for so long is not ok.

UserAtRandom · 15/05/2021 12:11

I would guess that OP is judging age on height and is possibly under guessing. The child could well be 8 or 9. Sounds like the child seems perfectly happy so I'd simply get on with my life.

UnluckyMe · 15/05/2021 12:11

By the time you actually get through to someone on 101 the parents will probably be back ! If you're concerned id call 999 and have someone in uniform be there to keep an eye on him and speak to the parents on their return

kowari · 15/05/2021 12:11

There is no childcare at secondary school. So unless a parent can afford not to work then they usually get themselves there and back and many are home alone for a couple of hours too. DS was at 11.