Friend gave us a higher quote for the job

[ZizzyK]

We are looking to do some work in our office space. We were planning to use a close friend and neighbour for the work, however the quote they provided is much higher than what we were quoted by other people. We are now not sure whether to give the friend the work.

AIBU for considering giving the job to someone else?

What would you do in a situation like this

I don't think you should just assume 'mate's rates' just because he's your friend. A lot of businesses have been struggling this past year.

That said, I would assume it's because he doesn't want the job. Dh is so busy with really high end jobs that pay a lot and then friends and neighbours ask him to do stuff. He does intentionally give them high quotes because he doesn't want to say no, but he doesn't want to do it either because it would mean quite a loss in income compared to a big job. Either that or he's a small business and the other quotes are from bigger businesses with lower costs who are legitimately able to do the job for cheaper.

Don't get your neighbour/friend to do it. It never ends well.

Do make sure you get a third quote to check that the first one isn't too cheap.

You will probably find your friend is being honest whereas the others quote low to get the work then find lots of problems

Unfortunately in my experience it is very rare that I don't hear of a negative issue attached to using family and friends.

The person paying is never happy at the end of it.

All the disadvantages of knowing someone, without any reduction in price.

My friend was getting built in furniture some years ago and against the advice of her friends, her husband insisted on using his cousin.

The cousin kept dropping her job to do other small jobs that came up.

My friend was vicious with her husband and with the cousin.

The house was up in a heap with young children far longer than was agreed.

Eventually she cracked and there was an absolutely huge blow up.

The job took twice as long and my friend lost a lot of respect for her husband in the process.

She saw him as a wuss that was more concerned about his cousin than his own family.

This was a very expensive job too that they didn't save a penny on and was excruciating.

The fact that he did an excellent job was completely lost in the stress and annoyance.

Also the bad publicity amongst her friends meant that none of us would ever recommend him and would actual say not to go near him, he's a twat.

Needless to say, not a peep out of her husband on any further work being done in the house.

they are clearly not doing you a favour so don't do them one - make the decision based on your criteria for the job not mates. You can forgive there or thereabouts but significant differences are a blatant rip you off or don't want the job

Tell your friend that you have had better quotes. Show her proof of this. Then ask her if she is interested in competing with the lower quotes, and if so, can she commit to a professional timeframe with no dropping the ball in favour of other clients and will she sign a contract promising exactly that?

just tell your mate, no offence but ive been given a much lower quote and money is tight, so im going with them.

Its not a big deal. You dont have to go with your friend

My husband is a plumber and our friends seem to think he'll do work for them out of the goodness of his heart or the price of some beers. We have bills to pay and we have a child. If he does it in the week then he's losing money and if he does it at the weekend he misses out on seeing our daughter!

Small jobs are one thing but big jobs can be a nightmare. It's really best not to mix business and friendships as it always ends badly. His uncle did his parents' double side extension and kitchen refit about 20 years ago and they still moan about it.

I agree with pps about the quote being high because they don't want to do the job.

Just say "thanks for the time, but we will go with the middle quote"

Working for friends is a minefield; they expect "mates rates" and special attention.. Forgetting, this is actually a business and livelihood not a charity.

They are sending you a message "mates rates and special privileges are not on".

Thanks so much everyone for the feedback and insight. I never really considered the impact of mixing friendship and business, I have kept a note to self now.
I wasn’t asking for mates’ rate but wondered why my friend’s quote is over a third higher than the other one. I was trying to avoid telling my friend that we decided to go with a lower quote, as I really don’t want it to seem like I’m asking them to reduce their rate.
Really appreciate all your comments

Your friend might use higher quality materials or not qualify for trade prices or not be able to buy in enough bulk to give you a cheaper price.

If they are doing it all themselces you may, for example, being charged an hourly builders rate for something a builder's business might employ a labourer to do at a cheaper rate.

It might also be a cheap job that stops them picking up higher paid work

Why on earth is it unethical? If a builder quotes higher for work they don't want the extra is to make it worth their while. Every industry does this. Tradespeople certainly shouldn't be expected to give a discount to friends and family; they have their own income and family to consider.

It isn’t done in every industry and in non domestic construction is isn’t accepted as a norm. If a subbie prices too high a couple of times, they risk being kicked off tender lists. If a tradesperson doesn’t want the job, they should say so. It is unethical to overcharge.

Apparently it's the same with things like car insurance. If they give you a ridiculous price it's because they don't wnat to insure you for some reason

If you were always going to go with your friend why did you get quotes from other people?

You’ll have to go with your friend to keep the friendship.

@MintyMabel

Why on earth is it unethical? If a builder quotes higher for work they don't want the extra is to make it worth their while. Every industry does this. Tradespeople certainly shouldn't be expected to give a discount to friends and family; they have their own income and family to consider.

It isn’t done in every industry and in non domestic construction is isn’t accepted as a norm. If a subbie prices too high a couple of times, they risk being kicked off tender lists. If a tradesperson doesn’t want the job, they should say so. It is unethical to overcharge.

If your subbie on the tender list is desperate for work, he'll reduce his prices, just as if he's crazily busy, he'll increase them. It's simple basic economics of supply and demand. It's well know that people will pay more for a quality/efficient service, hence why long established tradesmen charge more and newly self employed charge less as they don't have the same track record/repeat business etc. If a tradesman (or any professional selling their time) thinks a prospective new client is going to be hard work/demanding, etc., then they're going to factor in some extra time to account for it.

Have you had a breakdown of the quotes?

We used a friend for quite a lot of work on our house despite his quote being considerably higher than the others. When we asked for a breakdown of costs, it was because he had spotted a lot more stuff that would have needed to be done that we hadn't realised prior. The other people either hadn't spotted these things, or just didn't include it in the quotes. These were things that absolutely did need fixing.

We were a little worried about using a friend and made sure we had proper contracts drawn up. But he did excellent work, and have used him again since.

@MintyMabel

Why on earth is it unethical? If a builder quotes higher for work they don't want the extra is to make it worth their while. Every industry does this. Tradespeople certainly shouldn't be expected to give a discount to friends and family; they have their own income and family to consider.

It isn’t done in every industry and in non domestic construction is isn’t accepted as a norm. If a subbie prices too high a couple of times, they risk being kicked off tender lists. If a tradesperson doesn’t want the job, they should say so. It is unethical to overcharge.

See I think that tender lists are exactly the reason this thing happens, looks much worse in the tender report that a company has not returned a price at all, than them being high and then discounted for final comparison. A lot of the QS's we work with automatically only look at the cheapest 2, so there is no real delve into the higher cost returns, but it stays in the mind that those companies were interested.

I think that overpricing to avoid work and underpricing to win it is very common in commercial construction but appreciate I'm only seeing a specific part of the supply chain.

Minty because you will get people like my 89 year old grandmother who thinks that’s the going rate and pays it.

Always get 3 quotes

Maybe low is too low as needs the work and mates one is average

But agree df if he doesn’t want the job/thinks customer will be a pain he will add on a chunk

I’m getting windows at the moment, I’ve had 3 companies locally come

One was £4250 one £5700 - waiting on 3rd

Maybe they did it to avoid getting the job?

Avoid friends doing jobs

I’ve had something similar, when I had a quote from a contractor. A friend then said her Dad who was a contractor could beat the quote. I said great and had him come over, and to my surprise he started the job. I then received an email quote the following day and his quote was actually much higher. I called my friend thinking it must be a mistake, she said that the quote was the quote. I said ok, but you knew the price to beat, so surely you knew I was trying to save money. She said well just pay him for a days work. £200 on top of the original contractors quote. Thanks friend! After that I’ve tried to avoid using friends for jobs as it feels awkward! Often contractors are quoting for different ways of doing a job, I would go with the most reasonable quote and avoid things getting awkward with your friends. :)

Two good friends of mine had a big fallout over the same thing. I managed to patch up the friendship between them but it was never the same.
It was a lessen for me. Now, if I want any work doing I'm careful who I ask for recommendations because I'll never ask a friend or even a relative to do work for me.
Friends and business, like oil and water, don't mix