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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend gave us a higher quote for the job

121 replies

ZizzyK · 14/05/2021 03:49

We are looking to do some work in our office space. We were planning to use a close friend and neighbour for the work, however the quote they provided is much higher than what we were quoted by other people. We are now not sure whether to give the friend the work.

AIBU for considering giving the job to someone else?

What would you do in a situation like this

OP posts:
Lightswitchesoffatnight · 14/05/2021 08:10

@ZizzyK

We are looking to do some work in our office space. We were planning to use a close friend and neighbour for the work, however the quote they provided is much higher than what we were quoted by other people. We are now not sure whether to give the friend the work.

AIBU for considering giving the job to someone else?

What would you do in a situation like this

Never use friends or family, is my advice.
AliceMcK · 14/05/2021 08:10

Totally agree @TangoWhiskyAlphaTango my DBs work in trade, one will not even consider mates rates or doing jobs for family, even if he did do something at cost it would be more expensive than others in his trade as he only dose high end and bespoke work. My other db is forever falling out with people and loosing money because he’s never learnt this lesson.

Doris86 · 14/05/2021 08:11

@grapewine

They don't want the job, is what I would take from that. Go with the other one.
Quite probably, that is what tradesmen tend to do if they don’t want a job.

However, especially as a friend, being honest and saying they don’t want the job or are too busy would be a better option that making themselves looks like rip off merchants.

Anniegetyourgun · 14/05/2021 08:13

I may be missing the bit that a number of posters seem to have picked on, where the OP is expecting "mates' rates" - but I don't think so. The problem appears to be that the friend's quote is much higher than the other one for no apparent reason. If anything perhaps it's the friend expecting mates to be happy to pay them more than the job is worth. That's just as unreasonable as the other way round IMO.

FrozenVag · 14/05/2021 08:15

It’s their way of getting out of doing it

Trust me - they don’t want the work!

supermoonrising · 14/05/2021 08:15

Never understand why people get friends/family to do work. I wouldn’t unless it’s completely unavoidable or if it’s online and you very rarely meet in real life.

FartleBarfle · 14/05/2021 08:16

I have just been through this, my friend didn't give me a formal quote, looked at the others and said "I can do better than that". Paid cash and he worked at weekends. Anyway he revised the price several times throughout the work, kept adding bits on he would do for us to make it better. In the end I demanded a formal written price as I was getting uncomfortable with how much it must be adding and it was 2k more than I expected. I was so shocked. At the end of the work we paid up and he said he had forgotten to add a days labour for him and his mate, so asked for another 450. If he wasn't a friend I would have told him to fuck off. But I paid up, hoping to never have to deal with a friend to do any work for me again. It's so much more stressful, even though the work is amazing quality and I do believe he did a higher quality job than the other options would have done, it was an experience I never hope to repeat!

FrankButchersDickieBow · 14/05/2021 08:16

@Finfintytint

If the quote is much higher than going rates, then they don’t want the job. Take that as an indication and find someone else.
This. There's nothing more to it. Its a well known trick of the trade. They don't want to seem rude, but they really don't want the job.
supermoonrising · 14/05/2021 08:18

Having dug the hole already, all you can really say now is their quote is over your budget so we’re going to have to go for the cheaper option (though I’m sure you’d do a better job!).

speakout · 14/05/2021 08:19

*It's never a good idea to mix business with friendships or family.

It's a sure fire way to end the relationship.*

Totally agree.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/05/2021 08:20

@Anniegetyourgun

I may be missing the bit that a number of posters seem to have picked on, where the OP is expecting "mates' rates" - but I don't think so. The problem appears to be that the friend's quote is much higher than the other one for no apparent reason. If anything perhaps it's the friend expecting mates to be happy to pay them more than the job is worth. That's just as unreasonable as the other way round IMO.
No, the OP doesn't appear to be expecting "mates' rates" but it might look as though she is, if she challenges the quote and asks the friend to match the lower one.
Kazzyhoward · 14/05/2021 08:21

@Anniegetyourgun

I may be missing the bit that a number of posters seem to have picked on, where the OP is expecting "mates' rates" - but I don't think so. The problem appears to be that the friend's quote is much higher than the other one for no apparent reason. If anything perhaps it's the friend expecting mates to be happy to pay them more than the job is worth. That's just as unreasonable as the other way round IMO.
Building/trades quotes always vary enormously.

We've just had our decking replaced. Quotes varied between £1500 and £4000.

A few years ago, we had our back porch replaced - quotes varied between £2500 and £7500.

That doesn't mean the highest is "ripping you off". Material costs vary enormously - some tradesmen will use the cheapest crap they can source, others will use long term trusted suppliers who they know provide quality materials.

Same with labour. Some firms will just throw a few minimum wage labourers on the job, hence it will be cheaper. But a skilled/experienced tradesman will expect his usual "day rate" whether he's doing skilled work like a bespoke bannister/handrail or whether he's throwing down a load of decking.

In our village, we have a couple of brothers who've been running a building firm all their lives (started by their father). Everyone knows them and they have a fantastic reputation. But they also have a reputation for being expensive because they do the job properly, take their time and don't cut corners. When we need "quality" work doing, we have no hesitation in using them, as the finished product will always be excellent. But no uses them for "small jobs" where the top quality end result simply isn't needed. They're truly "craftsmen" and their charges reflect the time they put in.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 14/05/2021 08:31

Why did you approach the friend in first place? Get a clue. Never mix business with pleasure. Go with someone else.

HoboSexualOnslow · 14/05/2021 08:38

@Overdueanamechange

Are you comparing like for like? Is your friend perhaps VAT registered and the other company not? Is the work insured and guaranteed? Perhaps your friend's quote is a higher spec? The best thing to do is speak to your friend and explain. If it is just a case of day rate being higher, then either go with the cheaper or the person you trust. In my DH's business we don't do "mate's rates" at all, we have too much responsibility to staff, but people still use us because of our reputation. My friend used another company as they had quoted a third less then us, which was fair enough, but she has regretted it ever since because it was not a reputable company and when things went wrong the tradesman was nowhere to be found.
Agree totally
NewPapaGuinea · 14/05/2021 08:44

Read this thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4238760-or-is-this-a-terrible-finish

Whilst I’m not saying it’ll go wrong, but if it does it becomes very awkward.

mainsfed · 14/05/2021 08:51

Never do business with friends.

notanothertakeaway · 14/05/2021 08:51

Cheap isn't always better. Sometimes it's worth paying extra for quality

Choose the quite that you think offers better value for money

VickyEadieofThigh · 14/05/2021 08:51

This happened to us with a loft conversion we wanted doing on our previous house. A good friend's partner is a builder and she said he'd give us "Mate's rates".

Reader, the quote was astonishing - made worse by the fact we'd said (they live a long way away) he could live in the house, which was then a holiday cottage, whilst he did it.

We decided otherwise!

VickyEadieofThigh · 14/05/2021 08:53

@mainsfed

Never do business with friends.
THIS

See also: never employ friends or recommend them for jobs. It will come back to bite you on the arse. My brother recommended our nephew (who'd been moaning about his job for yonks) for a job at his firm. The nephew lasted a month before he threw in the towel. My brother is still smarting about it 2 years later.

BeautifulandWilfulandDead · 14/05/2021 08:58

Meh. I have a friend who makes very high end beautiful kitchens. I've had quotes from him several times and always told him that I would if I could, but I can't afford it so I'm going to go with a cheaper option. He (and I) value the quality of his work, so I don't expect him to lower his prices, and he doesn't expect me to pay if it isn't right for me. If your friend is a professional, they will understand.

tenlittlecygnets · 14/05/2021 09:05

Why would you go for a more expensive quote?? Are you sure the friend wants the job? I'd be wary of mixing friends/family and business... I'd go with one of the other quotes.

C8H10N4O2 · 14/05/2021 09:09

Charging 75% extra as they don't want the job is unethical as some people won't realise they are being ripped off

Why on earth is it unethical? If a builder quotes higher for work they don't want the extra is to make it worth their while. Every industry does this. Tradespeople certainly shouldn't be expected to give a discount to friends and family; they have their own income and family to consider.

OP: don't mix business and friends unless you have previous good experience of their work. Do check the detail of the quotes to ensure they are equivalent. It may be the friends don't want to mix business and friends or it may be the other quotes are cheaper materials.

Anniegetyourgun · 14/05/2021 09:13

No, the OP doesn't appear to be expecting "mates' rates" but it might look as though she is, if she challenges the quote and asks the friend to match the lower one.

I agree with that, and I think it was what the first poster to mention mates' rates meant, but others seem to be picking up on it and chiding the OP for expecting a reduced rate.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/05/2021 09:20

Take the cheaper quote and if they ask explain then!

I have offered quotes for friends and not been given the work. One expected Mates Rates and could not understand why I would say no... my bills don't pay themselves. The other understood I have my rates and am busy.

We aren't daft or ogresih just because we work for oursleves Smile

Nomorepies · 14/05/2021 09:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request