Meeting friend next week, I haven't mentioned being pregnant. WWYD?

[Crepesuzanne]

I wrote a post on here a few months ago asking for feedback on whether it was unusual/daft of me to keep my pregnancy to myself and not tell the majority of family/friends.

My reason was because a couple of them reacted negatively to me having my second and this will be my third. Their responses to my nice news put a bit of a dampner on what was initially a happy time, last time.

Circumstances aren't perfect, we could do with more space and one of our DC is disabled and hard work (which is where I believe the judgement comes from) but overall it's our decision to proceed right?

After not seeing anybody for the best part of a year I'm due to meet up with one of my long time friends next week, as good a friend as they have been - unfortunately they were one of the people who's reaction deflated me last time.

I'm 4.5 months now and have an obvious bump and I'm unsure whether to tell them in advance or just go along and say nothing at all, then brace myself for the shock / disappointment / judgement.

WWYD?

Take DH for example, he grew up in a home with 5 siblings and didn't have his own room. He has nothing but fond memories of his childhood.

Alternatively I know of people who had no siblings, an abundance of space and had quite awful childhoods.

[quote ChairmansReserve]@Crepesuzanne

I know a young woman through a parenting group who has recently had her 6th, she lives in an upper floor flat with no lift access and doesn't have enough bedrooms.Of course most people would think "oh my that sounds difficult, I do hope she'll cope"

My response was to feel really sorry for the five children she already has, and the sixth one that's on the way, who are being forced into this horrendous life through no choice of their own.[/quote]
Crikey, that's quite an assumption!!

A big family would be my own idea of hell. I hope I'd have a good poker face in that situation because it wouldn't even be a judgement of the other person, just my own horror

I totally see where you're coming from, the thing is though.. none of those things were a factor when I was pregnant with my second and she responded with visible disappointment then

Then maybe best not to expect a positive reaction from her? If she couldn’t hide her disappointment last time it’s unlikely she’ll react with joy this time? Some people just can’t pretend to feel something they don’t or hide a strong emotional reaction.

It’s sad for you, but I’d lower your expectations of her and focus on friends who will be pleased and excited for you.

Maybe she wanted more kids and couldn’t (or lost one during pregnancy and kept it secret) but didn’t tell anyone.
Or maybe she just doesn’t like kids and talking about pregnancy/baby/toddler stuff and doesn’t want to talk about it or be your confidante?

I didn't tell friends or extended family I was pregnant for the third time. I realised my true friends knew and they would obviously see me or keep in touch. I did turn up to a family party 5 months pregnant and lose people were very surprised!

How did she take it @Crepesuzanne