Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be totally put off running

132 replies

gogojojo · 12/05/2021 22:11

I've recently started to get back into running - I used to run a lot before my youngest child was born but haven't for years now. I've been really enjoying it and was already feeling the benefits after just a couple of weeks though am still fairly overweight

However this evening I was out running and had slowed to a walk on a very steep hill when someone in a car drove past and opened the window and shouted run fatty run out of the window - they seemed to be a total stranger a youngish girl from what I could see

Now I am totally disheartened I don't think I could face going out running in public again might try to go very early in the morning when it's still dark but don't want to be seen - why would a stranger feel the need to do this

AIBU to stop running

OP posts:
NCNCNCNCNCNCNCNCNC · 13/05/2021 11:39

My mum started running as a size 24 (well walking at the back of a running group), went on to train as a running coach and was sponsored by the council to start a new group which is now over 200 members strong. She's not slim but comfortable with herself and her body and a bloody legend to the local people she's got out and running! Don't let the bastards get you down.

IndieKate · 13/05/2021 11:49

Please don't let one rude person put you off.
You are taking charge of improving your physical and mental health and that should be applauded.

We can't change other peoples actions we can only change our reaction to them. For every dickhead shouting rude things there will be dozens of people silently thinking you are awesome.

Me and everyone else on this thread is cheering you on. Flowers

BuggerBognor · 13/05/2021 11:54

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Boxme · 13/05/2021 11:58

Don't be put off! It's her problem, not yours. What normal person drives past someone and feels the need to shout insults, no matter what they look like or what they're doing?!

I wear bone conducting headphones so I can still hear noise around me like traffic noise but people can assume I can't hear the stupid shit they shout. Luckily it's only happened once in about the last year and they couldn't even think of anything creative, although I have experienced people shouting stupid stuff plenty of times. Let it bounce off your back because you're out doing something brilliant for your health.

motherloaded · 13/05/2021 11:58

Unfortunately this is the shit we have to put up with as women who dare to exercise outdoors.

people, it has nothing to do with being a woman. Overweight men receive just as many abuse, if not worst .Not everything is gender related Hmm

Boxme · 13/05/2021 11:59

@bostonchamps

I do struggle to believe this happened tbh
You're either not a female runner, or have been very very lucky then.
MargateSands · 13/05/2021 11:59

I wouldn’t let one isolated moron stop you doing something you enjoy. Fuck ‘em.

motherloaded · 13/05/2021 12:00

OP, it's hard but ignore!

They are the ones with issues, not you. The most sporty people are the most inclusive, they recognise efforts. Just keep going, you will only punish yourself if you stop. What effect would it have on the other? none.

Someone shouting abuses at stranger in the street must have a hell of a shitty life to get that low.

Boxme · 13/05/2021 12:02

@motherloaded

Unfortunately this is the shit we have to put up with as women who dare to exercise outdoors.

people, it has nothing to do with being a woman. Overweight men receive just as many abuse, if not worst .Not everything is gender related Hmm

I'm sorry if it's something overweight males have to experience and put up with too, but there is a huge problem with female runners experiencing these sorts of things frequently, whilst many male runners don't even know the problem exists.
GroggyLegs · 13/05/2021 12:02

@bostonchamps - I struggle to believe, that you're struggling to believe it.

OP, get yourself a running Instagram page, add loads of runners you can relate to. There's so much encouragement & positive vibes in the community, plus you can see this kind of shit happens to every type of female runner - thin, fat, fast, slow... It's not about you, it's all on them.

I still remember someone shouting 'fat arse' at me 9+ years ago but my main thought was 'THAT'S WHY IM EXERCISING MORON'. Not had much since except 1-2 random white van beeps - and I've still got the same arse Grin

I'd have missed out on so much if I'd let that one person stop me.

Get yourself a race booked! Grin

Boxme · 13/05/2021 12:06

@gogojojo download the Nike Run Club app and find a guided run that suits your ability (they've got a couch to 5km guide and up). Listen and believe the guide who knows what they're on about. They talk you through each run and give you lots of encouragement. Can't recommend it enough.

motherloaded · 13/05/2021 12:15

You could also join a running club, many have beginner level groups.
You might feel safer and more encouraged surrounded by other runners.

Especially with the pandemic, "runners" are of all type, age, body weight.

But sadly, it's too common that some overweight runners get abuse.

Dentistlakes · 13/05/2021 12:16

What a horrible experience, I’m sorry it happened to you op.

I can understand why you feel put off running, but please don’t stop. This person was an utter twat and you can’t let them stop you. I run very early in the morning, mostly because it’s quiet and I only see other runners, dog walkers or swimmers. I tend to see the same people each day too which is kind of nice. I also wear noise cancelling ear phones which I know a lot of people don’t like for safety reasons, however I don’t run on the road and only a short distance on the pavement and it does mean if someone says something I’m less likely to hear it. It also helps that I’m not a bright young thing, usually look horrendous and wear a bobble hat, so people probably think I’m a poor old thing getting my outing for the day!

Nightbear · 13/05/2021 12:17

’people, it has nothing to do with being a woman.’

It really does.

Coldilox · 13/05/2021 12:17

It says a lot more about them than it does you, OP.

If you enjoy it and are feeling the benefit, don’t let some dickhead who gets off on putting other people down stop you.

G5000 · 13/05/2021 12:19

people, it has nothing to do with being a woman.

street harassment has everything to do with being a woman. Yes overweight men might get some abuse because they're overweight - obviously not great. But women runners are abused no matter what they look like, just because they're women. We have discussed it many times at my running club, and men never experience all the abuse we female runners have to put up with pretty much constantly.

I do struggle to believe this happened tbh

I struggle to believe you're a runner. Or a woman tbh

Notaroadrunner · 13/05/2021 12:20

Your response if it happens again "I won't always be over weight but you'll always be an ignorant cunt". I for one admire you. I cannot seem to run (hence my username). I've tried C25K a couple of times in the past few years and am all delighted for a few sessions and then it's like I've had lead added to my legs. It seems I physically cannot run and I envy anyone who can and does run. I don't have the best lungs either. If I was to run uphill I'd feel sick. So you get out there no matter what time of day it is and do it for yourself. Don't let one cunt put you off.

Bookrat · 13/05/2021 12:21

Usually, for me, the crap comes from men and it makes me angry, but it was so hurtful when it was a young woman opening a car window: just to insult me. Only once, but I still remember.

It was a good year before I ran the same route again, but on the whole I prefer canal towpaths or forest trails anyway. People seem much less keen to be abusive when you can give it back.

Which is not to say change your route. Don't! She needs to change, not you.

For the record my DH is amazed and almost disbelieving that I get so much crap off people. No-one has ever commented on his running, ever, not even when he was overweight.

motherloaded · 13/05/2021 12:25

No one has ever commented on my running either to be fair, even when I was pregnant, or when I was pushing the buggy.

Overweight people get more abuse, it's a sad fact but it's true. And again, absolutely nothing to do with being " a woman".

Gwenhwyfar · 13/05/2021 12:26

@G5000

people, it has nothing to do with being a woman.

street harassment has everything to do with being a woman. Yes overweight men might get some abuse because they're overweight - obviously not great. But women runners are abused no matter what they look like, just because they're women. We have discussed it many times at my running club, and men never experience all the abuse we female runners have to put up with pretty much constantly.

I do struggle to believe this happened tbh

I struggle to believe you're a runner. Or a woman tbh

I'm a woman who jogs and have not had any abuse. I've had a couple of people encouraging me, some teenagers snickering and one dickhead imitating me in a way that was annoying, but not abusive. It definitely isn't something that happens often to me.

I suppose the way I look is the reason why I don't get sexual harassment, but I imagine it's really common for young and pretty women.

I think when it does happen it definitely is to do with being a woman because people would just not dare do it to a man. Their physical strength is so much more they could beat up their abuser and their status in society is higher, unfortunately.

muddyford · 13/05/2021 12:45

Ignore those sorts of comments. The vast majority of people of both sexes either don't notice or think you are doing a good thing.

BuggerBognor · 13/05/2021 12:54

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

BunnyBerries · 13/05/2021 12:56

Goodness me, what kind of person is brought up to shout comments from a car at someone running and keeping fit?!
My first thought when anyone shouts stuff, is always, always pity and embarrassment for them for their awful manners, and what their family would think to see it, not a blind bit of notice of any comment about me. That might be the teacher in me Grin

If anything people running are always an inspiration when I see them!

motherloaded · 13/05/2021 12:57

We are not talking about victims of sexual assault, we are talking about overweight runners being randomly abused in the street...

HeavyHeidi · 13/05/2021 13:19

I don't have any scientific studies to back up my opinion here, but I will bet anything on female overweight runners being harassed about 100fold more than men.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.