Would you start again if your children are older and you've just got your life back

[heyyiuguys]

Would you?
Lately I've been feeling broody. I've got two children, one adult and one in teens. I had them young so could in theory start again.
They just spend time in their bedrooms now come an evening.
I have lots of freedom and can do anything:
It's nice but not everything.
I mean I'm not that bothered as when I was in my 20s about going out all day without kids and drinking etc.
However amazing spending time with my children one on one now and just doing what we want.
I have a good job and probably good career prospects if I don't.
But there's a niggley feeling in me that I want another. Am I selfish? Probably stupid?
I've got my independence back so why am I feeling this.
Am I crazy?!

Mine has a 17 year age gap . Having my youngest was the best decision ever . Keeps my young and never a moment to myself . Lots of trips to zoos etc ( which I love ) he is a ray of sunshine in these dark times

Mine are 10 and 6 and 100% would not have another. We got a rescue dog instead and she’s the third child we’ll never have!

No thanks. Blame your hormones

My are 12 and nearly 9, and I am having the same dilemma!

Thanks for replying. Who knows? Hormones or also you dream about this non baby/toddler freedom and then it's not all that

No

Mine are 12, 11 and 9 and I can’t say I haven’t thought about it. I think about the impact on my dc though and that stops me tbh - I’m older, so riskier pregnancy, higher risk of chromosomal abnormalities and twins, I’d need a 4th c section and the risks associated with that. Holidays, days out, etc, would look different - back to stair gates, baby proofing, sleepless nights. I’m not sure being broody is a good enough reason in my case .

I had mine when I was young and I felt like you, wondered if I should have another, but I'm glad I didn't now. I could have a child at Primary now but to go back to all that, and then secondary, and then uni etc. I don't think I would have the energy now. I don't act like I'm passed it, to whoever said it keeps you young, as I go and see my DS in his band, go roller skating with my DD, so having young adults in your life keep you younger in my opinion.

Absolutely not! Why on earth would you? 🤤

NO

I kind of want to do the whole school thing again. I mean it's all hard work but I don't understand who I am without being a mother anymore. That's all I've done since late teens

Like you I have a teen and adult child and had then young so still have time for another. Lots of women my age are just having their first but the thought of another gives me nightmares! I used to think the baby stage was the hardest but if I’m honest it’s the later years that put me off. All the childcare issues around work, the play dates, worry when they start going out with friends, playground politics and they are so bloody expensive!

My advice would be do what will make you happy. It’s a decision only you can make as it will be you who will have to raise the child.

Good luck with whatever you decide

Well there’s no one answer to this is there. Some people would love it and some people would be destroyed by it.

No

It sounds more like you've lost who you are outside of being mum. Instead of having another baby and getting lost more, Id spend time on finding who you are now. Your interests wont be the same as they were when you were in yours 20s and thats why you're not so fussed by your new freedom

I don't know. I've lost that but gained as well.
I just think this is my last chance. So I need to make a final decision. How did you all know you were happy knowing you don't want kids again.

I don't understand who I am without being a mother anymore.

Well, that’s the crux of it then, isn’t it? Why not spend some time exploring other aspects of your identity? Join a club? Sign up for an evening class? Start a project?

Disclaimer: I currently have an 11 year old and am trying for a second

I don't want to join any clubs though. I enjoy my free time. I guess is my time to do anything but I don't want to do anything right now lol

Hold out for grandkids haha

Haha maybe. Feel too young to be a grandma though!
I just have never had the feeling that I'm never having more children.
Now it seems ridiculous to think about it but it came around so quickly I just didn't think.
Most of the past decade has been spent on getting a career.

I knew I was done with kids when I got spd with the second dc. Dh had the snip about 4 years ago when dc2 was about 4 or 5. Massive, massive relief. But then, I'm not very maternal and found juggling work and toddlers exhausting.

Only you can decide

@heyyiuguys

I don't know. I've lost that but gained as well. I just think this is my last chance. So I need to make a final decision. How did you all know you were happy knowing you don't want kids again.

I just knew I didn’t want to raise another child and all that entails. I want to be able to give my two my attention and financial support and knew it would be more of a struggle with three. Plus, I never get broody around babies, my first thought is always ‘thank goodness it’s not mine’ 🤣

Are you totally insane op? No, I wouldn't dream of it! Absolutely bloody not. Your freedom is hard won. The planet doesn't need more people. Enjoy your freedom.

No way. I've adored my two growing up but am starting to see the possibilities for travel and new opportunities in a few years once they're independent.

I'd hate to be pregnant again now. I don't think my body would cope.