Does posting on here ever make you feel like a total societal misfit?

[Socialpariahs]

Hi
NC for this.

I have posted on here a few times what I thought were reasonable questions about things. My god, I got flamed severely on most occasions. Called all sorts of names etc etc.

Now I work in healthcare dealing with patients daily. Without being big-headed, I am well-liked and I feel I have normal opinions about things.

Does posting on here ever question your place in life/society?

Not exactly. I am sometimes in the minority on threads. I know that makes me less normal statistically speaking but tend to shrug and remember that it takes all sorts to make a world.

I often feel ignored as well. People often don't respond at all or a thread ends with one of my posts so I wonder what is wrong with me ! Crazy isn't it.
And yes I have been flamed before and told I was a terrible mother based on one random comment.

People can be horrible when they can be anonymous. It brings out the worst in lots of people sadly.

I’m sometimes surprised by the strength of opinion people have about things I’d never even considered and/or their readiness to pass very definite judgements on other people. But guess that’s the nature of the medium. You don’t encounter people as ‘real’.

The replies you get to a post on AIBU are not necessarily the actual views of the people posting them.

NC also and absolutely not. I’ve started threads and contributed to others on a wide range of topics and been called everything from a “truly wonderful person” to “well you’re a peach aren’t you”. In reality I’m a good, kind person, a great friend and parent. I have flaws. Those responding to you with a higher EQ will understand there’s a wider context and respond accordingly and helpfully. Ignore the rest

@flapjackfairy oh I feel exactly the same. Ignored or kiss of death to the thread! Glad I'm not alone

[quote Fyredraca]@flapjackfairy oh I feel exactly the same. Ignored or kiss of death to the thread! Glad I'm not alone[/quote]

I know this feeling.

If a vulnerable or emotional post from an OP has descended into the usual bear pit
with snippy posters pointing out the OP's failings, spelling ability or mothering skills...

...then a good solid post about the actual dilemna often gets ignored.

None of the folk want to be distracted from the enjoyment of the good kicking they're dishing out by actual facts or reasoned opinion

I think there’s always a section of people who use these forums as an alternative to ‘kicking the cat’. Taking out frustrations, screaming LTB when a bloke has left his dirty socks next to the washing basket etc etc. They’re probably quite sane in real life but once they’re anonymous the gloves are off. Possibly forgetting there’s a real person reading it. It’s nice to be nice and not kind to kick a person just because you can’t see them.

Some things are really just not worth mentioning on MN.

I am not married to my partner although we have a baby together and I live in his house and I’m not currently on the mortgage, although he’s one of those ‘high earners’ (not as much as many on here but around the £75000 mark.) I gave up my job to move in with him.

MN would absolutely flame me based on that info. But in actual fact I own another property outright which is let out. I also have a big pension, which he doesn’t have.

We probably will get married in the future but for now if we were to split I don’t feel in a remotely ‘vulnerable position.’

A lot of answers aren’t about supporting an OP but about gleefully telling them how glad you are you aren’t them. But I just think that about a lot of the nastier posters on here!

Yup.

I'm left of centre in my political views, creative, liberal, artistic, sensitive etc.

Posting on here sometimes makes me feel like a total weirdo... yet I still do it!

I probably am a bit of a societal misfit though, to be fair. It's not a label I would take offense at

How do you know your well liked and have normal opinions? That's a very narcissistic thing to say.

People on here have some very strange ideas about a lot of things.

Don't worry about not agreeing with them.

I do wonder what sort of people actually post on here sometimes and what part of the universe they live in.

I've deleted my account and rejoined about 5 times over since covid because I've got so annoyed with people's opinions. That really brought it all out IMO.

I sent my kids to school, didn't wash the shopping, still went to work, still went on holiday, to see family and to the shops etc when I could. There's people on here who haven't left the house in 12 months.

@chocolateorangeinhaler

How do you know your well liked and have normal opinions? That's a very narcissistic thing to say.

Oh that’s classic, op, considering your question. A dozen posts in and you’re a narcissist

I thought - hoped! - that was a joke post!

You’re probably right - I hope so!!! You never know though on MN

When posting on a forum like this, you’re not really responding to a person, but to a viewpoint or your perception of what someone represents, so there’s a lack of nuance or context. In RL we might dislike an opinion someone holds but wouldn’t respond to them based on that alone. Your self presentation when replying to someone is also more narrow and definite. Hopefully there’s a bit more to us than is conveyed by the written word and anonymity. Although of course I feel like a societal misfit 😀 Always have.

@chocolateorangeinhaler

How do you know your well liked and have normal opinions? That's a very narcissistic thing to say.

And there it is!

@Lemonelderflower I was wondering that too, but you just can’t pick up tone from the typed word can you? 😀 I hope OP hasn’t now gone from the relative comfort of feeling well liked to the fear of having a personality disorder.

I think if you like who you are, then I wouldn’t take too much notice of people on here. I don’t believe half the stuff on here anyway. 😬

A lot of people use Internet forums to pick fights and pile on but far fewer people do the same thing in reality. I'm not convinced half of the poster's mean what they say during a pile on whether it's with strong opinions or a cool I-wouldn't-be-bothered-by-that when in real life they would.

There are also those who've been burned by trolls and its made them cynical. I personally won't go near anything about sick or dead spouses or children, too many trolls making up those sorts of threads.

I think we can get stuck in our views, I find it interesting to hear others take on a situation. You don’t have to agree but it certainly makes you think, don’t take things so personally.

No!
Sometimes I think 'why oh why would you get so upset about that?' Or 'are you projecting? Are you in denial? Or "if everybody is wrong about him then i guess that's easier than all of the painful feelings of worthlessness coming up to the surface".

So. Been around this block too often. Should find a different stomping ground! Or just focus on art like ive been meaning to for a decade!

I've lost count of the amount of times I've typed out a post or a reply and just deleted it. Why? Because I just don't feel strong enough to cope with the inevitable pile on or ignored. And then there's the fear it will appear in the DM! Yet I'm still here, dishing out my wisdom, lol. It's a bit addictive I suppose.

I think some very loud MNers are neurotics weirdos, if I'm honest.