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AIBU?

Does posting on here ever make you feel like a total societal misfit?

79 replies

Socialpariahs · 11/05/2021 05:53

Hi
NC for this.

I have posted on here a few times what I thought were reasonable questions about things. My god, I got flamed severely on most occasions. Called all sorts of names etc etc.

Now I work in healthcare dealing with patients daily. Without being big-headed, I am well-liked and I feel I have normal opinions about things.

Does posting on here ever question your place in life/society?

OP posts:

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motherloaded · 11/05/2021 11:22

One of the biggest mistake you can also make is think that everybody is on the same level as you. Like in real life, some posters are stupid. (or careless).

What you take for an argumentative person is sometimes simply someone who .. didn't get it. If you read some of the threads, it's obvious.

SOME posters don't bother reading most of the thread, just answer the OP, missing out a bit that came up in the thread. No big deal.

SOME posters have understanding problems, and go on a completely different direction.

What I am guilty about (and I am not the only one) is not really reading the username. So I answer posts, quoting them, I don't answer posters.

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JokeTheCoalman · 11/05/2021 12:06

@chocolateorangeinhaler

How do you know your well liked and have normal opinions? That's a very narcissistic thing to say.

No it isn't.

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shivawn · 11/05/2021 14:57

Nope! Reading posts here makes me feel really good about myself and my life!

So many on here suffer from really bad anxiety, trust issues, are married to people they are obviously incompatible to. Then there's just the generally miserable ones who like to put a negative spin on everyone else's posts.

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shivawn · 11/05/2021 15:00

How do you know your well liked and have normal opinions? That's a very narcissistic thing to say.

@chocolateorangeinhaler
Perfect example of someone who is desperate to drag the OP down while contributing nothing of worth to the thread!

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KaleSlayer · 11/05/2021 15:07

How do you know your well liked and have normal opinions?

I think most people know if their opinions are ‘normal’ or ‘extreme’. I think I’m quite a fair person but also know I get quite passionate about animal rights for example so my view on that would be described as extreme. I’m very aware of that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Giantrooster · 11/05/2021 15:21

I'm glad there is a world outside mn with differing ways to react to their fellow human beings .

I'm not British nor in the uk, and I've sort of wondered what a whiny, agressive, non-accommodating 'lot' you are. Common sense and making things work seem the least of your problems .

So... It's an internet forum hopefully posters aren't like this irl (or talk like this). I think people copy the general way of speaking here (I know I do) and often just come to vent.

(I've actually googled quite a lot of statistics, because I couldn't get my head round the general impression here.)

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zaima · 11/05/2021 16:19

Yes, AIBU is very intolerant of cultural differences. I have friends who will openly refer to their husbands as “the head of the household” - it would be utter bedlam and uproar if they posted on AIBU It’s bad enough being a SAHM or being a wife with your husband’s name! There are very distinct boundaries as to what it’s acceptable to post about on AIBU.

If you believed what you read on here - everyone has separate bank accounts and gets changed into pyjamas the second they enter the house.

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Serpenta · 11/05/2021 16:24

78% of people on MN money threads have paid off their £750,000 mortgage by the age of 45. Mumsnet isn't always representative.

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Serpenta · 11/05/2021 16:26

@chocolateorangeinhaler

How do you know your well liked and have normal opinions? That's a very narcissistic thing to say.

This poster is clearly jesting.

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BarbaraofSeville · 11/05/2021 16:51

@zaima

Yes, AIBU is very intolerant of cultural differences. I have friends who will openly refer to their husbands as “the head of the household” - it would be utter bedlam and uproar if they posted on AIBU

It’s bad enough being a SAHM or being a wife with your husband’s name! There are very distinct boundaries as to what it’s acceptable to post about on AIBU.

If you believed what you read on here - everyone has separate bank accounts and gets changed into pyjamas the second they enter the house.

Indeed. You only have to mention putting rice on a roast dinner, gravy on chips or pork pie served hot with mushy peas to bring out the 'OMG that's disgusting, who does that' crowd, who are completely oblivious that these are normal foods to many people.

I saw the thread about pyjamas the other day. I had no idea people did that. No wonder people don't like unexpected evening visitors if none of them are properly dressed.

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silverstrawberry · 11/05/2021 18:55

I've seen women get torn to shreds because of their views or on the other hand their reasoning for staying and making a relationship actually work which is rare these days. I think opinions online can be brutal where they wouldn't dare say these things to someone's face.

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KittyKatChonky · 11/05/2021 19:05

You sound like hard work, op

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Mumoblue · 11/05/2021 19:09

Posting here makes me very aware that I’m skint, I’ll say that.

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Dawnchoruses · 11/05/2021 19:09

In fairness I put my dressing gown on when I get home from work - or used to before I worked from home. It was a ritual for me. But I don’t think people who don’t do it are odd!

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Zoomzombie · 11/05/2021 19:13

I never get over how snipey some people can be When replying

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NeverDropYourMoonCup · 11/05/2021 19:17

@Mumoblue

Posting here makes me very aware that I’m skint, I’ll say that.

Me, too. I'm clearly at the absolute shitty end of the stick financially, compared to everybody else who owns a property (or several), stands to inherit more, runs a couple of cars, goes on holiday every year at least twice and is actually very poor on a mere £100K plus between them

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NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 11/05/2021 19:26

Honestly?

I'm mainly here to revel in the crazies, CFs etc, not to mention the late crowd on AIBU who can smell fear. Gotta love the likes of Xenia who's advice comes with the assumption that everyone has an IQ of 140 and the mental capacity to earn a billion pounds if they really wanted to and tried a bit. Who doesn't love a parking thread, a horrific MiL, or unplanned twins with a cocklodging cheating alcoholic partner? It's the modern day thinking girl's Take a Break.

If it was a sane and sensible echo chamber I'd get bored.

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allfurcoatnoknickers · 11/05/2021 19:42

I'm a brit who's lived abroad for 7 years and never been a parent in the UK. Some of the cultural differences are wild. Some things that are totally normal here that are unacceptable on Mumsnet:

Living in a flat with kids and/or dogs. Normal here, abusive on Mumsnet.
Sleep training and/or having a bedtime routine.
Going back to work full time after maternity leave.
Mounting your TV on the wall.
Getting an epidural just because you want one.
Canada Goose coats (confused by this one. Is it the brand? Is it the fur? Is it the style? Are Arcyteryx acceptable? Mackage?)
Dressing your kids in designer gear. Or any gear that's not a third hand hand-me-down. (Also confused by this one. I know Ralph Lauren is frowned upon, but what if it's second hand, or a hand me down? What about Jacadi? Petit Bateau? WHERE IS THE LINE?)

I'm sure there's more. I also think if we ever moved back, we'd be social outcasts.

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PermanentTemporary · 11/05/2021 19:48

I thought you meant that being on MN makes me unfit for wider society, which is possibly true

I've been on here a loooong time so I recognise some of the MN weirdnesses and just back away.

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HowToBringABlushToTheSnow · 11/05/2021 20:04

@chocolateorangeinhaler

How do you know your well liked and have normal opinions? That's a very narcissistic thing to say.

Narcissistic

Well you clearly don't know how it 'feels' to be well liked, if you are well liked, you know

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toconclude · 11/05/2021 23:18

@chocolateorangeinhaler

How do you know your well liked and have normal opinions? That's a very narcissistic thing to say.

Most of us get, y'know, feedback from others. Nothing narcissistic about that at all.

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letsgetbackto2019 · 12/05/2021 05:30

Yes - I don't feel the need to be rude/a keyboard warrior with aggressive language dressed as honesty which is badly tolerated only by "snowflakes", neither here nor irl.

I genuinely believe in kindness and that making an effort to be polite while disagreeing is worthwhile.

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Holly60 · 12/05/2021 07:34

@chocolateorangeinhaler

How do you know your well liked and have normal opinions? That's a very narcissistic thing to say.

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RickiTarr · 12/05/2021 07:37

I think it’s a mistake to take MN that seriously. Some quite intransigent “norms” develop or amplify here that don’t exist or barely exist in the real world. Ignore it.

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Thisisworsethananticpated · 12/05/2021 07:39

I never post In aibu
Never
It’s a 100% guarantee someone will
Make you feel shit

Not
Worth it

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