Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another destination wedding thread.

72 replies

Weddingchange321 · 11/05/2021 01:25

A family member is getting married this autumn abroad. The flights didn’t seem too bad and we thought we could potentially make it into a mini trip either side.

However, they’re getting married at a hotel and part of the package that the rooms have to be filled. Now we’ve been told that pricing is per person not room.

My DH wants to just sacrifice his flight as it’s less than the price increase with the accommodation. He also doesn’t know anyone else going apart from my parents.

AIBU to presume that you pay for the cost of the room you’re staying in?

OP posts:
WarwickHunt · 11/05/2021 01:41

Your post doesn't make much sense.

GammyLeg · 11/05/2021 01:44

It makes sense to me.

Can you stay somewhere else and let the other guests fill the rooms?? Just explain that as a family you can't afford it?

TheDuchessOfBeddington · 11/05/2021 01:46

It makes perfect sense.

OP thought that the wedding hotel was (for example) £200 per night but it’s actually £200 per person. Now they think they can’t afford it so DH has offered not to go.

The bride and groom have chosen a package whereby if they fill the rooms they are offered a deal on the wedding. Cheeky fuckers.

lakesidelife · 11/05/2021 01:46

I agree stay elsewhere.
It sounds like one of those deals where bride and groom get freebies if their guests buy enough rooms.

Just book a cheaper place to stay you and DH.
Although I wouldn't be planning travel just yet.

FromHereToModernity · 11/05/2021 01:48

I don't think anyone should go.

Original poster
Weddingchange321 · 11/05/2021 09:48

@TheDuchessOfBeddington

Bingo.

Sorry the op was about cryptic as trying to be anonymous as possible but not a drip feed either.

Just wondering if she’s being a CF.

OP posts:
StillCoughingandLaughing · 11/05/2021 09:52

Just wondering if she’s being a CF.

Yes. As others have said, they’ve been offered a special deal if they fill a certain number of rooms. If there’s somewhere else you could stay locally, I would. If not, I think your husband’s solution is a good one.

ItsCokeFFS · 11/05/2021 09:57

So if the 2 of you went, you would be paying £200 each to stay in a room, but if you went by yourself, you would be paying £200 to stay in the same room? Or would you be given a single room (which normally attracts some sort of supplement anyway).

ThatIsMyPotato · 11/05/2021 09:58

They should have made clear the cost from the start.

Aprilwasverywet · 11/05/2021 09:59

So effectively you are all paying for the wedding...
Would zero gifting be acceptable then??

MrsBarnstable · 11/05/2021 10:03

I would look for somewhere else to stay too. They've made their choice, you make yours

SummerHouse · 11/05/2021 10:07

I would say now, really sorry, we can't come, have a beautiful wedding. Get in first before others start dropping out. You had an idea of making it a holiday. It's not really that without your DH.

Original poster
Weddingchange321 · 11/05/2021 10:08

@ItsCokeFFS

Yep, it would have been £400 for the room for three nights. Instead of we’ve been asked to pay £300 each for the weekend as there’s single people staying hence costing them more. I know it’s £400 for the room as they have a breakdown on the villa website.

I can’t really get out of it without a huge sing and dance as everyone attending the wedding is staying at the villa.

OP posts:
osbertthesyrianhamster · 11/05/2021 10:11

Yep, CFer. We decline all destination weddings (a lot of them are fake weddings, too, if the couple can't legally marry at the destination, they have the real wedding in the UK at the registry office and a production one for all the mugs who are paying out and using annual leave to watch their pretend wedding), but this one, pull out now.

You can't be forced to stay in a particular place but the couple will likely strop if you don't sub their production by playing ball and paying effectively double than they led you to believe for the accommodation.

So just pull out altogether.

'Sorry, but circumstances have changed and we're no longer able to attend.' Now.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 11/05/2021 10:13

[quote Weddingchange321]@ItsCokeFFS

Yep, it would have been £400 for the room for three nights. Instead of we’ve been asked to pay £300 each for the weekend as there’s single people staying hence costing them more. I know it’s £400 for the room as they have a breakdown on the villa website.

I can’t really get out of it without a huge sing and dance as everyone attending the wedding is staying at the villa.[/quote]
Yes, yes, you can get out of it very simply or choose to be mugged off. Keep it simple. 'So sorry but our circumstances have changed and we're no longer able to accommodate coming to the wedding any more. Please accept our apologies.' And you pull out. Or be a mug and stump up £600 - that'll be just the tip of the iceberg, you'll be expected to pay more and more and again, it might not even be a real wedding.

Blossomtoes · 11/05/2021 10:14

I’d stay somewhere else. Am I correct in thinking you’re being asked to subsidise single guests?

Aprilwasverywet · 11/05/2021 10:16

Bow out. Anyone complaining an pitch in for your costs...
Seriously can't imagine being brow beaten to do as I am told at my age!!

Sally872 · 11/05/2021 10:17

If it suits dh, saves a family fall put and allows you to go I would go without dh. Sounds like you would pay £400 for room as a single person so still a good saving.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 11/05/2021 10:18

@Aprilwasverywet

Bow out. Anyone complaining an pitch in for your costs... Seriously can't imagine being brow beaten to do as I am told at my age!!
Yeah, that's a helluva a cheek! 'Sub the single person'. Fuck off.

Honestly this is a chance to learn here, OP, these destination weddings are usually shit. Just decline entirely.

But now, bow out immediately.

TwoAndAnOnion · 11/05/2021 10:19

Reductions, if you can get your guests to stay, are fairly common in this country too. It's not exclusive to a destination wedding. For the sake of saving a few quid, faffing with cabs when merry, is it worth the aggro of looking for a cheap B&B?

Surely the whole point of a destination wedding is that you are spending the holiday together? (Not my cup of tea, but each to their own)

thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear · 11/05/2021 10:21

So it’s sharing a villa rather than a room in a hotel? That sounds even worse and I can see why your DH doesn’t want to go, especially if he doesn’t know most of the others.

If DH drops out, will everyone else have to pay more, to cover the extra cost? The whole thing sounds like a mess, caused by the bride and groom. I either wouldn’t go at all or I would arrange different accommodation.

BagORats · 11/05/2021 10:21

Oh god not the "it's not a real wedding" crowd. It very much depends on where the wedding is as to whether it's a legal wedding so wind your necks in.

Very cheeky of the wedding couple. If its at a hotel then they may charge off site guests for an all inclusive package for the day. When you book a room abroad its highly unusual to not be a per room rate. Couple are just trying to squeeze you for money so they don't have to stump up the cash.

crosspelican · 11/05/2021 10:22

Hi Bride,

I'm terribly sorry, but money is very tight this year, and when we costed the wedding using the villa's website prices as our guide, and saw that the price was £400 for the three nights, we could just about make it. Increasing it to £600 is out of our financial reach I'm afraid. We just can't manage it this year - we had to make a lot of sacrifices as it was to get the flights.

We love you so much and will be with you in spirit on the big day! If there's anything I can do to help you from this end, please do say.

I'm reall sorry to make this about money, really I am, but we just can't afford it any more.

love,
NotAMug.

ShirleyPhallus · 11/05/2021 10:22

Pull out if you want to, bit cheeky that the goalposts have changed

But I will never understand how offended posters get on here for even being invited to a destination wedding. Or even a wedding here.

readingismycardio · 11/05/2021 10:23

See, I don't think you're overreacting at all and I wouldn't go. These situations piss me off terribly. People are so entitled and just plain bridezillas. I was a very organised and detail oriented bride but I managed not to piss off anyone😂

Swipe left for the next trending thread