Really shaken up. Did I do anything wrong here?

[seventymodules]

For past two years I have done the school run, I park on a street near the school. There is a detached house with a driveway and a patch of grass next to the driveway. I park in front of the patch of grass, not blocking the driveway whatsoever.

Once I drop my child at school I get collected by my workmate (we are cleaners so have company car) and then work till 3 until I have to return for school run and car.

This morning as I was getting out of the car the lady in the house came charging out, she said 'can you stop parking your car in front of my house?' I said 'it's a public road' and she said 'you park out here 5 days a week, if you refuse to move it I should make you aware that I will be cutting my grass today and any damage to your car is not my responsibility' said with a sarcastic smile on her face, she then walked back into the house shaking her head.

I've left the car but worried now she is going to damage it.

Am I being unreasonable parking it there? It's a public road and not on her property at all.

@heidipi

I don't agree that another car would automatically park there from 9 am - 3pm, 5 days a week. You are just assuming that if OP goes somewhere else to park, another car will park there. Clearly, the woman that lives in the house doesn't think that or she would probably just put with OP.

It is clear that the woman doesn't want to keep looking at OP's car every single day. It is too regular and inconsiderate in my opinion.

Clearly, we will have to agree to disagree.

@seventymodules There is no pavement outside her house her drive way is directly onto the road, same with her patch of grass, where the grass stops the road begins, there is no pavement and it's a wide, quiet road. Also her drive is raised on a hill so would have no problem seeing past my car

Isn't that a bit of an odd/unsafe place for you and you child to get out then? Where there is no pavement?Why do you always choose to park there?

Regarding etiquette -Yes, there's a legal right as long as you pay your road tax blah de blah, of course. Most people aren't arguing with the legality of it, that's different. But in terms of etiquette?

Totally agree. This forum is "Am I being Unreasonable", not "Am I acting illegally". Half of the reason I'm here is because like many Brits, I love to debate the trivialities of legal but potentially offensive behaviour.

Still yet to see WHY it’s annoying to see a car parked on the street? People just repeating “piss taking” ad nauseam.

I’d guess this woman (and some posters) would get their titties in a twist if it was a different car every day parking there.

It would be really helpful to have

a. A diagram (of course)
b. Some idea about how busy the road is with parking / if it would be easy to park elsewhere.

It’s hard to imagine a road where the OP can both always get the same spot each day, and yet nowhere else is available.

Is the school far from your home ? Why can't you just drive home park your car in your driveway and your colleague pick you up from home?

Get a dashcam (they are cheap). Set it up and leave a note on the car that the dashcam is active. She does not own the space outside her own house and she has a cheak threatening to damage your car. If you see any damage report it to the police and check the webcam.

I really don't see the problem if it's a public road and no restrictions. As long as the car isn't on the grass or causing an obstruction.

I live near a few busy areas (town centre, large park, sports arena and 3 schools) and there are often cars parked on the street outside the house or at the side of our house which is the end of a small cul-de-sac because there are no restrictions and it's quiet enough to find a spot and still be in walking distance. What's the difference between one car all day and 5-10 cars sporadically in the same time frame?

The only one that ever bothers me is the dickhead nephew of a neighbour who parks in front of my garage door every time he visits somehow missing the parking area 8 feet away that always has spaces. OP doesn't appear to be doing that or causing any issue other than this woman with apparently little else to get worked up about.

@Brainwave89

Get a dashcam (they are cheap). Set it up and leave a note on the car that the dashcam is active. She does not own the space outside her own house and she has a cheak threatening to damage your car. If you see any damage report it to the police and check the webcam.

This is a bit extreme, but probably worth considering. This person (and others in this thread) believe they have a right over the pavement outside their house.

The fact that someone can park there daily means the place is not demanded. Even if it was, it is simply not the neighbours' space at all. There is no right whatsoever to have a place to park close to your house. Only privilege and entitlement can explain this kind of attitude. Why would someone decide not to park where it is legal and convenient?

@unwuthering

Oh, she lost her temper. Not pleasant, not good, but after stewing on it for two years, she went a bit frothing at the mouth. It's certainly given the OP something to think about that she's never considered before.

Indeed - who would have thought a random woman would be frothing about parking for two years and contemplating criminal damage. Takes all sorts.

Zero tolerance is the way to go. Never collude with delusions. She might think she owns the road, but she doesn't. Ignore. And repeat.

YANBU as it’s a public road and she has a driveway. One day per week I park in the same spot outside someone’s house however if I was doing it 5 days a week I’d probably change where I park slightly every day.

It does seem pointless you driving to school to then be picked up and ripped off though. Can you not walk to school and then be picked up or have the other person pick you up from your home?

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

Listener2021

No, the people I work with have actual problems. That’s why my neighbour parking outside my front window most of the time really doesn’t bother me.

Then I hope you leave your sanctimonious language behind when you are with them.

'Give your head a wobble' is the equivalent of mental car keying, as I am sure you are very, very luckily aware.

HRTWT Just with her threatening to damage your car. I never understand people that do this. Yes they might be able to damage your car whilst your away but you know where she lives, if you were of the same mentality, you might damage her car and/or property.

Would a dash cam help? Do they work on motion or keep running after the car has stopped running?

Like a PP said, maybe move around a bit. Legally no you have done nothing wrong, unfortunately people don’t own the road on the front of their house. Might be frustrating for her but it’s difficult to garner any sympathy when she has been so aggressive, threatening and rude.

Zero tolerance is the way to go.

Oh, it's a class war thing, is it? I thought you were all about the holier-than-thou, give your heads a wobble, mealy-mouthed, sanctimonious stance over such trivial concerns as annoying parkers...

[quote seventymodules]@Frazzle76 I definitely will not be doing that. [/quote]
Don't then.
It was a suggestion to take the wind out of her sails. You said you were upset but it sounds like you want justification that you are right before going to collect your car and have a go at her.
I note you haven't said why you can't go home and be picked up from there? Or why there arnt any other solutions to dropping your kids at school?
It sounds like you want a fight, not to find a solution. Your call.

I think it depends a bit on the type of street-I live in a row of terraced houses and hardly anyone has a drive (and if you have one that means you’ve sacrificed your back garden) so it’s always lined with cars and I couldn’t tell you who lives here and who doesn’t it, it’s all fine. But if it was a really quiet residential street and you were parking specifically in front of her house all day 5 days a week, I can see how she’d find it irritating.

I’ve had similar - she maybe able to get out of her driveway - but can’t see as well if you weren’t there - the annoyance has built up!

Stop being annoying!

I think considering it was all day every day and its outside the same house that I would have made a courtesy knock on the door and said that it was your car that is being left outside - does she have an issue with it.

When I am at work I need to leave my car on a particular road two or three tomes a week and do try and vary it. If it was outside the same house five days a week I would make some effort to put a face to the person leaving the car there. Legally there is probably no need but I think it could have pre-empted a situation like this.

Still yet to see WHY it’s annoying to see a car parked on the street? People just repeating “piss taking” ad nauseam.

I think several people have explained but I could give a reason. Some people, rightly or wrongly, believe they live in communities and not individual houses. As a result, they see that if you live on a street, it may give you responsibilities (keep your house presentable for the benefit of your neighbours) and rights (you and your visitors or handymen, etc, get to use the street for parking), and those rights and responsibilities go hand in hand.

Someone from outside that community (e.g. OP) who comes in takes and rights (e.g. parking almost permanently in the same spot) is seen to be "taking" from the community, taking away opportunities from the community to use that resource, and doing so without accepting any of the responsibilities.

It may all sound a bit far fetched to some, but I would argue that is how a great many people view their streets and communities.

@seventymodules There is no pavement outside her house her drive way is directly onto the road, same with her patch of grass, where the grass stops the road begins, there is no pavement and it's a wide, quiet road. Also her drive is raised on a hill so would have no problem seeing past my car

The only roads I can vision with a drive and lawn directly adjacent to the road are private un-adopted roads. If so, that puts a different spin on it.

If it is a public highway the first metre of drive and lawn will probably belong to the local authority. Parking will be public.

I couldn't care less where someone parks there car. As long as I can park mine then they can crack on. How is it any different if it's the same car or a different one?
It's not private land so the lady can do one. Also, get a dashcam

I agree with this. Yes, it’s legal - but so is playing music in your garden all day, leaving your car radio on while you wash it etc etc. What you’re doing is pretty likely to cause her annoyance and inconvenience.

Not remotely comparable

Yeah that would irritate me a bit if I'm honest. More because you had decided outside my house was now your parking spot and were there everyday like you had some sort of cla over it. You have every right to park there, but it would annoy me.

Out of interest, why do you park there every day? Why not change to a different spot every now and then.

[quote Thiscantreallybehappening]**@heidipi

I don't agree that another car would automatically park there from 9 am - 3pm, 5 days a week. You are just assuming that if OP goes somewhere else to park, another car will park there. Clearly, the woman that lives in the house doesn't think that or she would probably just put with OP.

It is clear that the woman doesn't want to keep looking at OP's car every single day. It is too regular and inconsiderate in my opinion.

Clearly, we will have to agree to disagree.[/quote]
Yep agree to disagree but if the OP does what she is being advised to and moves, how does she deal with what the person in the house she parks outside of instead wants? If she varies it/mixes it up etc etc is she expected to knock on a door every day and ask if the homeowner minds her parking perfectly legally on a piece of road they don't own til 3pm?

@Frazzle76

Honestly ? In hindsight what you should have done is knock on the door months ago and dropped round a bottle of wine and chocolates. Because while you arnt technically doing anything wrong it pisses people off. You have no idea of her personal circumstances and how much this is affecting her. Lots of people here have used the 'public rd' argument. If this was outside my house and you did some of the things previous posters have suggested you would have an all out war on your hands. Take a bottle of wine back with you and be sugary sweet to diffuse the situation. And change your parking pattern.

This is a ridiculous suggestion.