Would you have a second child after eight years? (Secondary infertility)

[Ocean456]

Looking for opinions please on what you would do in our situation...
We started trying when DC was 4, now 7 1/2 so the shortest age gap we will have is eight years....

We desperately want another but will they be close? DC said the other day 'I want someone the same age as me to play with, not a baby...'

We are planning to do IVF next month and I'm scared...

I have over eight years between my two. They have a great bond and always had. He was just so proud of his little sister and not once did they ever fall out. When he was fourteen he would take his five year old sister to school every day as they were at the same school.

My DDs are eight years apart with my DS six years older than my youngest DD. They all have a DC the same age, all born in less than a month. They are all close.

I'm currently trying and it'll be about a 10 year gap.
I have siblings close in age but closest to the one I have an 8 year age gap with.

Nearly 9 years between my 2 daughters. I agree that it can often feel like I have 2 only children but I think this is in part due to them having different dads, with my eldest staying with hers 20% of the time. My eldest tried to act as a second mother to my youngest at one stage but she's less fond of her now she's reached the terrible twos! It's been fine in terms of their relationship but going back to the baby stage was a bigger shock than I expected!

Almost 8 years between my two DS after secondary infertility and mcs. It is like having 2 separate families in a way but I was realistic about that from the start. Some activities we could do together eg swimming, some we adapted eg cinema- different films at roughly the same time, one parent with each. They both love theme parks etc as they are getting older it is better (21, 13), eldest at uni but they get in pretty well when eldest is home. I’m glad that they will have each other in later years .

I'd go for it
I did and it's been perfect x

8 yrs for us under similar circumstances.
If you really want another child then the age gap isn't that important at the end of the day.

I’d go for it, my son is almost six, it will be a good two years before I become a parent again so we’ll have an age gap of 8-6years. I would rather have an age gap like that than 2 years as that would make it much harder to meet their individual needs.

My sister is 12 years younger than me and we are best friends and always have been.

I think it's fine. My 3yr old Goddaughter has 2 older sisters age 10 and 14. She's absolutely loved and adored by both of them and even shares a bedroom with the middle child. They manage just fine on family days out and activities, there's lots of things suitable for all ages.

I've got an 8 year old ds and and a 6month old dd they love eachother, my ds is realy proud of his little sister and likes to make her laugh and help look after her and play with her. He wasn't keen on babies before he got his own baby sister but I'm so glad they have each other even if they're is 7 years between them, when they are older (adults) 7 years isn't that much of a gap and they can still support eachother when I'm not around

I personally wouldn’t do it OP from personal experiences but I understand the longing for another child so I get that’s difficult to go against.

Good luck with your IVF

Thank you everyone who was kind enough to reply to me on this, I appreciate every single comment, it gives me so much to think about

My two boys are 8 years apart. They play together all the time and idolise one another.