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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to use the same baby name?

105 replies

Fluffyslippers123 · 09/05/2021 22:32

Expecting twin boys in a few months and my shortlist of names is only 4 names long.

My sister in law’s sister has taken 2 of the names fairly recently. I’ve only met her once, she lives very far away and probably will only see her and her children every few years if that, but it would leave my brother and sister in law as having two nephews with the same name, and their son with two cousins with the same name

That’s too weird right?

Names 3&4 have been vetoed for other reasons So I’m back to the drawing board. As if naming one child wasn’t difficult enough!

YABU: use the names you like and don’t worry about the other children
YANBU: you can’t use them, too weird

OP posts:
Penchantforfloralpatterns · 09/05/2021 23:07

Have changed the names but I know a family with two brothers named Harry and George, each brother had two sons and named them Harry and George, each son so far have one son each, can you guess what their names are?

ToffeePennie · 09/05/2021 23:08

That’s more than far enough apart. It will just be “Becky and Adams lads Henry and Thomas” rather than “Susie and Joseph’s Henry and Thomas”
There are millions of boys born who will be called (for example) Archie, this year. Why shouldn’t you go with names you like just because someone else “got there first?” Everyone told me they hated my choices for our firstborn, but now they can’t imagine anything else!

ToffeePennie · 09/05/2021 23:09

@Penchantforfloralpatterns - what’s wrong with George and Harry (my boys are called George and Harry) lol ☺️

Penchantforfloralpatterns · 09/05/2021 23:16

@ToffeePennie they are lovely names which is why I chose them for my fake names Grin

I must say when Harry and George, Harry and George, Harry and George and Harry and George are all in the same place it’s very confusing 😂

MotherBuckets · 09/05/2021 23:19

My SIL's SIL named her DD the same (fairly unusual) name as my DD, I think it's funny and doesn't bother me at all. So my SIL has only two nieces and both have the same name.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/05/2021 23:24

Naming twins is hard, you do what you have to do

MiddleClassProblem · 09/05/2021 23:26

Are the your brother’s step children?

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 09/05/2021 23:37

Just use what you like. We have three cousins with the same name. Our Ds is oldest, then Dh's little sisters son, then Dh's half sister used the same name. All different last names, no one cared.

NamechangeApril21 · 09/05/2021 23:41

I have a cousin rebecca on both sides of my family, both of whom have a brother called noah. Its never been odd or problematic. I think you're overthinking it.

namechange30455 · 09/05/2021 23:42

@MiddleClassProblem

Are the your brother’s step children?
Eh?

They're her SIL's nephews not children!

MiddleClassProblem · 09/05/2021 23:48

@namechange30455 ah got it. Found the OP a bit confusing. But I don’t think that’s a problem. I know a family that had a dog and child with the same name. I thought that might get confusing in the same house.

Charmatt · 09/05/2021 23:52

My children have 2 cousins with the same name and I don't see anything wrong with it - it never occurred to me that it was odd.

phodopus · 09/05/2021 23:56

Same name as your sister-in-law's sister's child (so not a relative, just an acquaintance) is fine. I have two cousins with the same name, one of each side of the family and there was never any confusion nor awkwardness.

JFCO · 10/05/2021 00:26

@Dancingsmile

It may feel rather odd for the grandparents when someone asks what their grandchildren are called. I think I'd think of other names.
In the situation described here, Grandparents will only have 1 set of GDCs names: Op's brother's wife's sister's children are NOBODY to these Grandparents. Honestly, it will be 'problem' just for OP's brother and his family.
UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 10/05/2021 00:40

Nothing strikes me as weird, given that my grandmother and her sister both married men named Henry and both named their first sons Eric. 😂

OwlBeThere · 10/05/2021 00:47

My cousin called her son my sons fairly unusual name (as in they were the only 2 kids with that name in their school) and 11 years later it still irks me.
I would always try and find another name, but if you can’t. Then you can’t.

PinkPomeranian · 10/05/2021 00:48

I have cousins with the same name on each side of the family and there's never been any confusion because it's obvious who we're talking about in context. If both sides of the family knew each other or lived nearby it may be trickier, but it's honestly never been a problem for us.

Moonlaserbearwolf · 10/05/2021 00:53

I think it’s absolutely fine. I bet it’s not that unusual to have cousins from different sides of the family with the same names.

HelgaDownUnder · 10/05/2021 00:55

I don't see the problem. As other posters have pointed out, paternal naming traditions in some cultures mean every male cousin ends up being colled Konstantine, or Michael, or whatever the tradition demands. In your case, it sounds like the babies won't grow up close and will have different last names.

Nitpickpicnic · 10/05/2021 00:59

I wouldn’t do it. But I wouldn’t think it strange if I heard someone else had.

I often wonder if I’d be this way had I grown up in a culture where the same 5 names are basically reused.

But I put great store by words generally, by efficiency (dislike the potential avoidable confusion of same names) and by individuality (dislike the idea of being named ‘for’ someone).

I’d have instantly crossed the names off my list, and not regretted it. It is a pain to go back to the drawing board, but I’d be confident of finding something great I’d previously not found. I want my kid to be themselves, and not be linked by ‘name only’ to distant relatives for a lifetime (long after I’m gone).

I don’t have the need to impose my preferences on this, onto other people though. Once you’ve thought it through, and flagged it with family, you do you.

Choux · 10/05/2021 01:07

@FedUpAtHomeTroels

Just use what you like. We have three cousins with the same name. Our Ds is oldest, then Dh's little sisters son, then Dh's half sister used the same name. All different last names, no one cared.
So one of the grandparents has three grandsons with the same name? Is it a family name eg also the grandparent's name? Are there any other siblings who could also have a son with that name?

Three grandsons with the same name is pretty unusual.

HP07 · 10/05/2021 01:50

I’d use the names. It won’t be weird as you hardly ever see them. My husband and I have fathers with the same name and brothers with the same name so our children have two grandad Tom’s and two Uncle Jack’s and we all still manage.

*Names changed

Allegra82 · 10/05/2021 02:13

I don’t even know the name of any of my children’s cousins cousins.
Definitely fine to use the same name.

georgarina · 10/05/2021 02:25

Isn't your SIL's sister also your SIL?

Anyway I'd consider it too far removed to be an issue. Doesn't seem like there would be any confusion.

I know a blended family where two of the kids share the same name - they just call them Big X and Little X.

Pinkpaisley · 10/05/2021 02:43

We have family that did this. It wasn’t twins, but they managed to do it two times. It is annoying and it does get confusing. When they had a third I was so happy they didn’t do it again.

I don’t think the set of our siblings that did the later naming really gave our inconvenience any thought at all. They are both the same age and it’s not that surprising that they fall into a demographic that ended up liking the same names. We were never mad about it and neither was my sibling. But like I said, it does get annoying at times.