AIBU to use the same baby name?

[Fluffyslippers123]

Expecting twin boys in a few months and my shortlist of names is only 4 names long.

My sister in law’s sister has taken 2 of the names fairly recently. I’ve only met her once, she lives very far away and probably will only see her and her children every few years if that, but it would leave my brother and sister in law as having two nephews with the same name, and their son with two cousins with the same name

That’s too weird right?

Names 3&4 have been vetoed for other reasons So I’m back to the drawing board. As if naming one child wasn’t difficult enough!

YABU: use the names you like and don’t worry about the other children
YANBU: you can’t use them, too weird

[ladygindiva]

I have a cousin, uncle and great uncle called James. Nevertheless mum was going to call me James if I was a boy. My cousin ( different county, about 4/5 hours away, never see her) has a daughter with the same name as my dd bar one letter ( along lines of Caroline / Carolina) nobody minds. Congratulations with your twins. I have 4 yo twins, they are fun. I feel your pain with the naming though, it was tricky finding 2 names we both agreed on!

[ChocOrange1]

@Dancingsmile

It may feel rather odd for the grandparents when someone asks what their grandchildren are called.
I think I'd think of other names.

They wouldn't have the same grandparents. They wouldn't be cousins. The sister in laws kids would have a cousin on each side of the family with the name.

OP definitely do it. The relationship is distant, you hardly see them and nobody will bat an eyelid. The people saying no seem to have misunderstood the situation.
My cousins had another cousin with the same name as me, it didn't matter at all.

[Allwokedup]

Of course use the names don’t be so silly.

[Strugglingtodomybest]

I have no idea what my Sil's sister is called, let alone her children's names so I say go for it.

I have two cousins with the same name and it's never been confusing, well, not for more than the time it takes to ask, which X?

[Crosstrainer]

I read it initially as your SIL had chosen it - I think cousins with the same name is problematic. But her sister is no relation to you, so I don’t see why it’s a problem. Your brother, I suppose, may think of his nephew as “Fluffy’s Bob” rather than just as “Bob”, but I can’t see it being a big deal. Go for it.

[TheOnlyKoiInAPondOfGoldfish]

my dc have got two cousins with the same name, one from my side, one from their dads, no one ever gets them confused, when you talk about people it's in context, so if a "Steve" usually comes up in the context of "Liz and Steve say they are coming over next week" or "Steve's helping auntie Rachel to move". Unless the "Steve's" all marry people with the same name it's perfectly clear which is which.

I was given the same name as my parent's best friend's daughter - who was about 6 yrs older. No one thought it all odd, it wasn't a popular name in the 50's, so not a huge number of us about (think a name like Evelyn). I think my parents like it when their friends used it. I always liked having the same name as the cooler older girl 😉

[Pinkywoo]

Choux

So one of the grandparents has three grandsons with the same name? Is it a family name eg also the grandparent's name? Are there any other siblings who could also have a son with that name?

Three grandsons with the same name is pretty unusual.

DH has two cousins with the same name as him (first and surname) He's from southern Italy where the tradition is naming the first son after the paternal grandad, except Grandad had three sons, all of who named their first son after him! It does get a bit confusing, especially as SIL married a man with the same name (and I bet any Italians on here can guess the name!).

[ElphabaTWitch]

Two cousins with same name in this family.

[Spidey66]

@Pinkywoo

*Choux

So one of the grandparents has three grandsons with the same name? Is it a family name eg also the grandparent's name? Are there any other siblings who could also have a son with that name?

Three grandsons with the same name is pretty unusual.*

DH has two cousins with the same name as him (first and surname) He's from southern Italy where the tradition is naming the first son after the paternal grandad, except Grandad had three sons, all of who named their first son after him! It does get a bit confusing, especially as SIL married a man with the same name (and I bet any Italians on here can guess the name!).

My paternal grandparents had about 4 Patricks, 4 Mary’s and 2 Theresa’s amongst their grandchildren. It was never an issue. As someone else said upthread, common as muck in Irish Catholic families.

[JustKeep]

Have you ever seen My big fat Greek wedding? There’s a great scene where the hunky love interest (can’t remember his name) is being introduced to the family and they’re basically all called Nick.

[SnowdaySewday]

Use them. When you announce the names, do it in the opposite order to the other family, so if the older one is William and the younger is Harry, announce your arrivals as Harry middlename and William middlename.

[TwoAndAnOnion]

Seems to work ok with the upper classes!

Charles Spencer has a Charlotte Elizabeth and a Louis, coincidentally his sister's grandchildren have those names

[JustLyra]

Three grandsons with the same name is pretty unusual

Only very recently was that not incredibly common.

In years gone by being called after hours grandparent was the done thing, in Scotland there was even an accepted order of how it was done.

Grandparents would easily have 2/3/4 grandchildren called John, Elizabeth and Peter.

My great-grandparents had 6 granddaughters called Elizabeth. 4 of them born to sons so had the same surname!

[AppleSouffle]

I think you’re overthinking this. Just use the names!

[Disfordarkchocolate]

I tried to mentally figure out who my sister in laws sister was in my family and gave up. Use the names you like, you will hardly ever see the other children.

If that's not OK call them Matthew and Joseph because these are lovely names. Good luck.

[contrary13]

I think your SIL's sister's children are suitably distant to your family to "re-use" the names, quite honestly, but I do understand your hesitance to do so.

In my son's family, there are a lot of "Jack"'s (not the real name). My paternal grandfather, a paternal half-uncle, my half-brother and one full-cousin were all called "Jack". So 4 men all directly related to my son. On his father's side, his paternal grandfather and his younger half-brother are also called "Jack". Which brings the tally to 6 "Jack"'s in my son's direct family. Also, he has a great-aunt, an aunt and a sister all called "Elizabeth" (again, not the real name). We get around it by differentiating between the various sides of the family and the generations: "Your brother 'Jack'," or "Grampa Jack", for example. It's confusing but doable.

If you only have two names that you like, from a shortlist of 4, your SIL's sister's children's names shouldn't factor into your decision. You cannot, and should not, base your life decisions upon someone who isn't a key player in your life/immediate family.

[SelkieBe]

Not all Irish families do this. We dont have any repeated names. The only occurrence of this is my name, my cousin asked if she could use my name for her daughter but there are twenty years between the two of us.

[dalrympy]

My brother and cousin have the same name. In all honesty it literally didn't occur to me as odd until I was much much older!

[littlepattilou]

I have never got my head around why people (on here) discuss their (unborn) baby's name with family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, and random people. And then cry off when someone else uses their baby's name.

In real life, I can't think of a single occasion where someone has told everyone their baby's name before its born. I guess it happens, and I am not saying it never does, I am just saying I have never known it.

@Fluffyslippers123 Of COURSE you can use the name still. I know it's a cliche, but it's a fact that nobody owns a name. As has been said, in some families, there are multiple people with the same Christian name/forename. There are many families that have 2 Peters, 2 Davids, 2 Pauls, 3 Stevens, 3 Traceys, 2 Sarahs etc...

I always find these threads so odd, because as I say, I don't know anyone in real life who tells the entire world their future baby's name. And also, the very notion that someone owns a name, and if you give YOUR child the same name, you are STEALING it, is just bizarre to the extreme.

[SoupDragon]

I have never got my head around why people (on here) discuss their (unborn) baby's name with family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, and random people

This isn't what has happened here at all.

[twoshedsjackson]

I have two cousins called Chris, on different sides of the family, and as PP's have said, it's not a problem, and the names crop up in the family context. Unless the name you both like is highly unusual, they'll probably end up with classmates with the same name further down the line anyway.

[SandyY2K]

Although I might not do it, my sister's BIL (her DHs brother and wife), gave their DD the same name as my DD. There's an 8 year age gap. So my nieces have a first cousin on both sides with the same name.

We do see them socially on occasion, but it's not an issue, as it's a lovely name.

[ladygindiva]

Even if you choose a name noone else has you can still end up with the same names in families eg my brother has the same name as my FIL. MIL has the same name as my godmother etc. Just pick a name you like.