to make DH go to doctor?

[Huhn]

OK I can’t “make” him but can strongly encourage. He occasionally reads here so hoping he stumbles on this.

DH is a 32 year old slim/lean male. Since solid food eating he only eats (comprehensive list): chicken goujons, roast chicken (not loved though), steak, chips, roast potatoes, ketchup, chocolate, crisps and pepperoni pizza. He eats some fruit (apples, bananas, berries), he does not and never has eaten any form of vegetable.

His daily diet consists of 1 sharebag of munchies (or other chocolate), a few bags of crisps, some chocolate bars, and for dinner - chicken goujons (deep fried), chips and ketchup. He eats an apple or banana on average every 4-6 weeks. He drinks fruit every month in the form of one carton of smoothie. His weekend liquid intake is mainly beer. (To the point where some days I can say he has not consumed any soft drinks/water - he doesn’t have a drinking problem)

He weighs 71kg and is 6ft. He doesn’t get colds or flu often. We assume he had Covid when I tested positive as he lost taste/smell but that was the extent of symptoms along with tiredness for 3 days (same as me).

When he was 21 he did medical trials for money and was deemed healthy so rides this all the time.

He has very bad eye sight (astigmatism), he also doesn’t have amazing hearing or smell but nothing to be concerned about. Recently I’ve noticed him getting more issues with his eyes. He also does get headaches more than before.

When DH was young his parents thought he had ASD, but removed him from testing (so they say) so no definitive answer. He has autistic tendencies but he has a professional job, maintains relationships, can be emotive (although his biggest weakness) so I don’t think he’s obviously got an issue. A condition called ARFID is aligned with the autistic spectrum. DH fits the bill perfectly, he doesn’t eat other foods due to texture.

I think his health is suddenly going to deteriorate and he will be unwell. He thinks he’s fine. I am trying to make him book a doctors app. So if MN agrees he should have some tests done he will go, if not I’ll leave him to his nuggets.

YABU - he’s fine
YANBU - get him to the doc

I think his health is suddenly going to deteriorate and he will be unwell

Why?

If he doesn't want to seek an assessment and potential diagnosis of ASD and/or ARFID and he's not interested in changing his diet then the GP won't do much beyond recommending maintaining a healthy weight and taking some vitamin supplements.

He needs to get his eyesight re checked and read up about scurvy but that’s about it tbh.

Well he eats potatoes, so he does eat some vegetables, even if very limited.

His diet is atrocious and I agree it's a time bomb, but I'm not sure what a doctor would do beyond referring to a specialist, and at the moment you'd be lucky to get that. If he's generally healthy he won't be seen as a priority.

You must have known this before you married him?

His diet does sound concerning but he’s obviously survived this long. He obviously has tried new things since he was a toddler (assuming his parents didn’t give him steak and beer!)

Can you work with him on making slight improvements to his diet? Maybe a smoothie every day? Would he take vitamins? Maybe the gummy ones for kids?

I was diagnosed with bowel cancer in my 20s - a major cause of bowel cancer is a lack of dietary fibre. I don't want to sound like a nutter but I'd just really try to get some fibre into his diet somehow - and maybe a daily A-Z mineral pill?

@user1927462849194729 in the past few months / year he has suddenly changed. He gets sick a lot more, struggles with pains / aches he didn’t. There’s been studies of people with ARFID who die very young and almost out of no where due to nutritional issues.

Is he in denial about his food habits?

Does his diet restrict his family/social life, ie can he eat when you go out for a meal or to a friend's house?

I think it's worth having a serious talk with him and letting him know how you feel. And yeah like PP said if nothing else get him to take a multivitamin.

@georgarina so I just want him to have a blood test for any deficiencies and diabetes.

It does completely restrict things but he denies it does. He says that he can eat anywhere as almost anywhere does steak or nuggets. However I love Michelin food and Asian food which he can’t eat out. Often we go out and he has a beer whilst I eat. He says it’s fine but it makes me uncomfortable. His family always accommodated it. He only ate something other than chicken nuggets and chocolate when he was 18, literally.

He has never eaten rice or pasta, noodles or mash potato. I gave a comprehensive full list.

He won’t try foods. He’s happy with what he has. He will sit there whilst others eat. I just don’t see how he can be healthy???

You can try but that's about it. My son is in the same boat but he has diagnosed ASD (ADHD and OCD). He is 43kgs. and 1.6m. He has an appalling diet and says he feels full right away.

@osbertthesyrianhamster sorry to hear about your son’s diet, I do hope it improves as long term it’s difficult and people do judge. As long as he’s happy though!

DH eats a minimum of 3000 calories of chocolate or crisps a day, we monitored it for a week. He eats around 3 - 4 times the RDA saturated fats.

His eye sight is -4 with the weirdest astigmatism that opticians always comment on and get him rechecked every time. Recently he’s got abscesses and mouth issues he’s never had. He had bad tooth decay but it’s under control.

Start with a multivitamin if he will.swallow tablet. You may want to an extra iron supplement and calcium tablets

You can get home test kits that you send away with sample of blood.

How is the tooth decay "under control"? I'd be concerned for his health if I were you, doesn't sound sustainable. Will he take multivitamins?

If he doesn't care about his health, why should you? Get some decent life insurance in place before he starts having tests or serious issues, so if he does suddenly drop dead, at least you and the children will be ok. You can't force a grown man to take proper care of himself.

What exactly would you be wanting the GP to do? I don't get it. Even if they give him some kind of leaflet, he knows all that stuff already.

@HugeBowlofChips he genuinely thinks he’s healthy and fine. Mainly because he’s slim. He refuses to get life insurance. Won’t take any supplements as he believes he’s fine. I want to “awaken him” with the results of blood tests etc. If I’m wrong and he’s healthy, then I will release a book explaining how this diet is a miracle.

You’re not his mother, you can’t make him see a doctor. You married him knowing he only ate chicken nuggets so I don’t see how you can hope to change it now.

@babbaloushka I don’t think the tooth decay was particularly bad for his age, in normal ish expectations. Full set of white teeth, a few fillings etc. Has that special high fluoride toothpaste.

@Regularsizedrudy I don’t and won’t expect change. I want him to live to a decent age. If that’s with meal supplements such as Huel or multivitamins, he will do it if told to

What did he eat at your wedding?

My ds (diagnosed autistic) I'd exactly like this and I worry.

However as an adult I think it will be very difficult to change things now.

I voted yabu simply because you have to let him deal with this and forcing him to the doctors will do nothing.

Stand back, and let him be. It’s hard but you’re not his mother.

What do you think the GP can do ? This is his choice, it may be an u wise choice but it’s not up to a doctor to ‘make’ him change it ... and he’s an adult... leave him be.

Sorry, but I don't think an NHS GP would be running blood tests unless he presents with a specific symptom that would necessitate them. I think you would need to go private, and probably see a nutrionist. But I can't see him agreeing to this.

If he won't go to a GP will he agree to a few private bloodtests? Thriva or the like?