to make DH go to doctor?

[Huhn]

OK I can’t “make” him but can strongly encourage. He occasionally reads here so hoping he stumbles on this.

DH is a 32 year old slim/lean male. Since solid food eating he only eats (comprehensive list): chicken goujons, roast chicken (not loved though), steak, chips, roast potatoes, ketchup, chocolate, crisps and pepperoni pizza. He eats some fruit (apples, bananas, berries), he does not and never has eaten any form of vegetable.

His daily diet consists of 1 sharebag of munchies (or other chocolate), a few bags of crisps, some chocolate bars, and for dinner - chicken goujons (deep fried), chips and ketchup. He eats an apple or banana on average every 4-6 weeks. He drinks fruit every month in the form of one carton of smoothie. His weekend liquid intake is mainly beer. (To the point where some days I can say he has not consumed any soft drinks/water - he doesn’t have a drinking problem)

He weighs 71kg and is 6ft. He doesn’t get colds or flu often. We assume he had Covid when I tested positive as he lost taste/smell but that was the extent of symptoms along with tiredness for 3 days (same as me).

When he was 21 he did medical trials for money and was deemed healthy so rides this all the time.

He has very bad eye sight (astigmatism), he also doesn’t have amazing hearing or smell but nothing to be concerned about. Recently I’ve noticed him getting more issues with his eyes. He also does get headaches more than before.

When DH was young his parents thought he had ASD, but removed him from testing (so they say) so no definitive answer. He has autistic tendencies but he has a professional job, maintains relationships, can be emotive (although his biggest weakness) so I don’t think he’s obviously got an issue. A condition called ARFID is aligned with the autistic spectrum. DH fits the bill perfectly, he doesn’t eat other foods due to texture.

I think his health is suddenly going to deteriorate and he will be unwell. He thinks he’s fine. I am trying to make him book a doctors app. So if MN agrees he should have some tests done he will go, if not I’ll leave him to his nuggets.

YABU - he’s fine
YANBU - get him to the doc

He's an adult in possession of the facts about what constitutes a healthy diet. Leave him to sort himself out.

I couldn't actually live with someone like that but that's your choice. You can't and shouldn't baby him. It will annoy and frustrate both of you.

A lack of Vit A affects your eye sight.

Chronic Vit A deficiency makes you blind and can be a symptom of Cirrhosis of the liver (liver damage can leave you unable to absorb Vit A)

My autistic ds has complan in lieu of milkshake mix, he has one each day for breakfast. Full range of vitamins. Would your DH maybe consider adding in a milkshake each day? They come in palatable flavours - choc, strawb etc.

@DeathStare

His weekend liquid intake is mainly beer. (To the point where some days I can say he has not consumed any soft drinks/water - he doesn’t have a drinking problem)

That sounds like a drinking problem to me. What do you see as a drinking problem?

That doesn’t mean he has a problem with alcohol. He could only be having one or two beers. Unless OP gives more details then we don’t know if he is engaged in problem drinking.

I know someone exactly the same as your husband, who will only eat those things. I am quite similar and think I suffer from AFRID but not as severe as your husband.
But the difference for me is im very overweight. I'm 35 years old and I weigh 19 stone. I go through phases of what I will eat and its linked to my mental health along with other things but at the moment I eat very similar in a day to what your husband eats. But I don't drink any alcohol.
The effect of eating these foods has taken a huge toll on my body and now starting to cause me all sorts of health and mobility issues. I am extremely ashamed. I also think it's grossly unfair that I'm editing the same as your husband and he stays slim which just shows how different everyone's body is. I bet your husband would think I was disgusting and would judge me for me being fat, yet he eats exactly the same as me and because he doesn't gain weight he doesn't see a problem.
Anyway I digress. I have similar to those in previous posts where if the food I like isn't accessible I would rather eat nothing. I would never ever eat a piece of Fruit as a snack for example even if the bowl is full.
I alsuss make sure my children are getting a balanced diet and they are slim and healthy which I'm proud of as you usually see entire fat families. I don't think your husband will ever change I'm afraid. It's who he is lifelong. He will either continue to be lucky (which I have a feeling he will) and be just fine, or over time his body will start to deteriote

@SonnyWinds - Bowel cancer in your 20's is more likely to be genetic and not to do with your diet. If you haven't spoken to a family history clinic please ask you GP to refer you.

@DeathStare he only drinks if we go out to socialise, which we do most weekends now lockdown is over. Otherwise he doesn’t drink. He doesn’t drink in the week, doesn’t go to pubs unless to eat dinner with friends etc. He likes a beer but can leave it if he wants.

However, at the weekend, when he drinks, he forgets to drink anything else.

In the week, I think he may have one glass of water? And one coke with dinner. He is always dehydrated and reminding him to drink is tiring.

@WyldStallions he would yes, if a doctor recommended it.

He will do whatever I say, so if I said he needed to go to the doctor, he would. I just want to see if my worries are justified.

I am fairly certain he will have some food issue like ARFID. He is every symptom to a tee. If it isn’t ARFID it’s something else similar. He literally can’t put the food in his mouth. When we’ve been travelling with food he can’t eat, he will go days without food and would rather that than eat something not on his allowed list.

He eats the same meal for every dinner every single day. I watch everything he puts in his mouth. It’s very easy to keep track of when it’s so limited.

@Jjlrb47922 I am sorry about your health issues.

I am slim but it is through very careful lifestyle choices and dieting methods. I gain weight easily. His whole family are very thin, none have the issues he does, but they don’t eat the most amazing diets but no female is above a size 8. When his sister gave birth, she was in a bikini the week after looking like a stick. It’s just how some people are. He gets the judgemental aspect from his mum who is narcissistic. She comments if I put on a pound or two, which is where his perspective comes from. She will have her own demons and I find it such an ugly personality trait.

Luckily I’ve spoken to DH about it so he doesn’t care or focus on other people’s appearances. He focuses on his own. He likes me being slim but I’ve gained weight through depression in the relationship and he didn’t actually notice so he is probably not very aware ha

Just to say you can take out life insurance on him, they will just ask your partner if they are happy for it - just about 2 secs of the phone call application

He will do whatever I say

Then why doesn't he drink anything but beer when you socialise or eat any veg?
How much are you spending at the pub each weekend on his beer?

It's been chucking fold in England for last 4 weeks, where are you that you can hang out all day in pub gardens?

Assuming OP is in England, He didn't have any beer from December 2020 to April 2021, and probably not much in 2020, so the "only drinks beer on weekends" problem is only the last 4 weekends, right? I mean, exactly how many hours/day do you 2 tend to spend in beer gardens on weekends isn't there something funner to do have sex even-- ?

This story isn't making sense.

Would it work for you to “go on a health kick” and get him to agree to both of you going to see a nutritionist?...you could present it that you want to optimise for yourself and for your own health...and get him on board with that perhaps?

Don’t know if this is in any way helpful:
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/sep/03/british-teenager-loses-sight-and-hearing-due-to-processed-food-diet

Why are you focusing so much on weight as a health indicator? It's one indicator but not the only one.

I think there are dieticians who speci in this sort of thing and work with people with autism.

Specialise

In fact here's one

www.insighteating.co.uk/