AIBU to think schools shouldn't promote breast binding to 11 year old girls?

[OhHolyJesus]

Article in the Times today about a top grammar school.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/913e7f94-b038-11eb-b844-593e41a4a1a5?shareToken=96489378584664b8e46495232a22b86a

From the comments you can see the parents weren't aware.

What parent wanting that information balanced with the facts about harm to be presented also deserves your shaming, implied or just plain stated?

I guess that I assumed transgender issues were becoming more mainstream and moving out of the taboo realm

There’s always a poster who, on a thread where appropriate boundaries and safeguarding is being discussed, distorts it to being “inclusive”.

No, schools shouldn’t be providing links to sex acts or legitimatising breast binding. This has nothing to do with transgender issues.

It reminds me of the thread about the dice game where one poster “couldn’t get worked up about it” because it was helpful for children, including preteens, to learn about sex acts involving anuses. Somehow 12 year olds learning about objects in anuses was “inclusive” for gay men.

“Transgender”, “gay”, “inclusive”, “progressive” seem to be key words inserted to blur what should be clear-cut firm boundaries.

@anon666 - that's not remotely what you said in your first post though is it?

It's not simplistic and reactionary to want safeguarding to apply to all children, regardless of how they identify. All children deserve to be kept safe in school and teachers have a responsibility to do that. It's part of their job. If a headteacher sanctions material that encourages girls to engage in actively harmful practices, parents should be concerned.

There's nothing cool about failing to protect vulnerable children.

I guess that I assumed transgender issues were becoming more mainstream and moving out of the taboo realm, but this thread and the reaction to my post has made me think it's not yet acceptable to the mainstream, which makes me sad for the transgender sons/daughters of friends of mine.

Oh. Well, you don’t seem to have grasped the safeguarding issues talked about in this thread. It’s nothing to do with transgender being “taboo”. It’s to do with the school a) allowing a poorly “published” newsletter to go out uncritically to children as you as 11 (without their parents’ consent) containing links to inappropriately explicit websites and b) defending the decision when challenged.

I understand that it's a complex issue, but that understanding has made me try to be compassionate and empathetic, instead of simplistic and reactionary.
Bit rude! I think you might be the one being simplistic, tbh. The reaction here is not “LGBT+ bad!” at all - I’ve not seen a single poster say so. It’s all about responsible dissemination of information to children.

Most of MN responses : it is wrong that girls harmfully hiding developing breast tissue is being legitimised by a school publication. It is appalling that there are links to adult sex acts.

Poster trying to bait and switch: these responses lack compassion and empathy; poor transgender children.

• binding, not hiding

@anon666 you have spectacularly missed the point. This is not about kindness or inclusivity or empathy. It's about safeguarding. As has been very clearly pointed out to you. The fact you are still refusing to see the problem is concerning.

[quote 2fallsagain]@anon666 you have spectacularly missed the point. This is not about kindness or inclusivity or empathy. It's about safeguarding. As has been very clearly pointed out to you. The fact you are still refusing to see the problem is concerning. [/quote]
I agree with this and pp saying the same.

The justification to ignore is concerning.

Kids are watching chemsex and fisting on YouTube anyway so just leave them to it = #Parenting101

Kids are watching chemsex and fisting on YouTube anyway so just leave them to it = #Parenting101

And posters need to focus on the world we actually live in today, I mean my 8 year old has come across much worse from the boys in school. All the kids have phones, might as well just show them more porn, right?

Hard to believe that the poster actually has an 8 year old.

Seriously, I

@HecatesCatsInFancyHats

I am always a little suspicious of posters who are eager to tell parents to stop parenting kids

Yes, or try to shame them out of it.

@nolongersurprised

Kids are watching chemsex and fisting on YouTube anyway so just leave them to it = #Parenting101

And posters need to focus on the world we actually live in today, I mean my 8 year old has come across much worse from the boys in school. All the kids have phones, might as well just show them more porn, right?

Hard to believe that the poster actually has an 8 year old.

Seriously, I

Yes, it is rather.

Article on this about Nonsuch from former teacher: www.spiked-online.com/2021/04/27/the-woke-cultural-revolution-in-our-schools/

sorry wrong link: www.spiked-online.com/2021/05/13/breast-binding-has-no-place-in-schools/

Here is the link to the head teachers statement.

www.nonsuchschool.org/64/news/article/174/statement-regarding-the-student-lgbtq-newsletter

The school has had a support club for students for many years to create a safe space for students who may have questions regarding these issues. In lieu of the support group in Covid times, some students produced a newsletter. It is the usual practice for such newsletters to be checked and vetted before being sent out to students and in this case that did not happen.

We apologise for the considerable alarm caused by content that was not contextualised nor in keeping with our RSE programme. We wish to assure parents that we have reviewed and strengthened our checks and balances to vet all internal and external communications to ensure the safety of our students and the appropriateness of all school communications.

We will be inviting parents to join us in focussed discussions around RSE and sexism and will send out further communications regarding this.

It is the usual practice for such newsletters to be checked and vetted before being sent out to students and in this case that did not happen

So why the message of doubling down on instagram? Or was it the LGBT+ teacher who checked and not the head teacher and lies were told that the head had checked it.

Either way, this was the only possible response and it acknowledges that safeguarding checks were not actually done if the head did not actually approve it.

oh. and this

In working with the students who put the newsletter together we have been discussing how we ensure we are working within clear boundaries whilst avoiding putting up barriers that may inhibit young people from seeking advice safely. We are taking steps to doubly ensure that all understand our communications processes and protocols.

So, this reads in my head - the students that put together that doubling down post on instagram did not actually understand anything that people were saying and just took the approach that any disagreement is phobic. We are now going to put into place an approval process with the safeguarding lead. At least, that is what I hope it reads.

We would encourage our parents/carers where they have any concerns going forward to raise them with the school directly so we may address them responsibly.

And .... please don't go to the press about this. Being outed for safeguarding breaches in the Times is not a good look for the school. But then those doubling down messages were not made by responsible adults. Even the ill-advised 'we only seek to inform'.

OFSTED are investigating!

Glad to hear it. That school needs some serious safeguarding training.

That is heartening news OhHoly. I imagine it is stressful for those involved but the way this was handled was appalling. And the way this safeguarding issue was minimised by parents as being ‘controlling, or even hateful, was just as bad when others who have safeguarding training were raising the issues.