Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Child alone in car at supermarket

115 replies

weakpanda · 08/05/2021 20:19

AIBU to think of your child isn't old enough/safe enough to sit in the front seat of the car it's not safe to leave them alone in the car while you shop???

At Tesco earlier while loading my shopping i saw a child alone in the car next to mine. I got the refg of the car and was going to go into Tesco and let security know but then the mum came back and started shouting at him, think he had set an alarm off earlier as hazard lights were flashing.

She then started shouting at him to get into the back of the car as he wasn't old enough to sit in the front and it wouldn't be safe, this boy I'm guessing would have been around 7/8 years old, he was crying so much and then they left.

It's been bugging me all day, nothing I can do about it now but that poor boy

OP posts:

Onairjunkie · 08/05/2021 21:03

Gosh some people are overprotective. He was seven or eight. 😂

picturesandpickles · 08/05/2021 21:09

People are absurdly over protective Never understood this comment, I think it is normal human instinct to protect your kids.

In this scenario - 7/8 in a car outside a supermarket, just a bit too young IMO, as they can still be regularly foolish/impulsive/clumsy etc.

toocold54 · 08/05/2021 21:09

7/8 is a tricky age as some are much more mature than others at that age.

He could also have an illness that meant his mum didn’t want him mixing with too many people in the current climate and if she’s a single parent she’d have no other choice but to bring him.

CovidSmart · 08/05/2021 21:12

I thought you would be talking about a 3 yo!!

7~8yo is fine to be left in the car. He should also have known better than play and start the alarm.

JustPootlingAlong · 08/05/2021 21:15

I couldn't believe my eyes the other day. Went to Tesco and noticed the car next to me in the child bay had a young sleeping baby in the back, drivers window open wide enough to get your arm through and the keys left on the ignition!!
No parents in sight. Sat for at least 10 minutes waiting to see if anyone came back but nobody showed up. Went into the shop to tell security but in that time, the parent had obviously returned to the car and left.

EasterEggBelly · 08/05/2021 21:15

Nope, I wouldn’t. It’s just not worth the risk.

Pebbledashery · 08/05/2021 21:15

I absolutely would never leave my DD in the car in that circumstance.. The only time I've ever left her in the car is when we've come out of the super market and it's raining.. I put her in the car first, leave the door open so she can still see me and load up car with shopping and take trolley back to the nearest bay, I'm back within 30 seconds..
I take her with me when I'm paying for petrol, or even if I've forgotten something in the house, I take her back inside with me. The poor boy you've described sounded very distressed.

otterbaby · 08/05/2021 21:17

Think it depends on the child. If my mum needed to go shopping, I'd opt to sit in the car and read instead when I was that age. I don't think that's necessarily too young but would vary by child.

Flowers500 · 08/05/2021 21:17

I don’t get it at all... unless the child has additional needs why can’t they sit reading a book? Do most fairly grown children need to be stared at all the time? Like you trust them to pee by themselves at this age I’m assuming...

BrumBoo · 08/05/2021 21:18

I would imagine an 8 year old to be OK for 30 mins in a car but I'd probably take them in with me anyway. I mean, it's a shopping trip - much easier to bribe them with a chocolate at the end than rush around worried they're messing with buttons because they're in a mood.

A 12 year old who's NT? I'd have left them at home! Why on earth would they need to come at all??

sumpplneedshaking · 08/05/2021 21:19

I left my children when 8 when I nipped into a shop alone in the car. Don't see an issue with it.

Hellocatshome · 08/05/2021 21:24

Ds is 12 and I wouldn't leave him. The temptation to fiddle with buttons would be too great..

Is he also unable to follow instructions such as "dont touch anything"

oneglassandpuzzled · 08/05/2021 21:25

@CovidSmart

I thought you would be talking about a 3 yo!!

7~8yo is fine to be left in the car. He should also have known better than play and start the alarm.

Agreed. My son would have been fine and happy. My daughter not so much.

Jellycatspyjamas · 08/05/2021 21:26

I’d leave my 8 and 10 in the car if I was nipping in for a few things, and I’d tell them off if I found them in the front seat playing with the buttons - they know the rules. And my DS in particular would cry if I told him off, but he needs to learn age appropriate responsibility and should be more than able to behave in the car for 10 minutes.

UserAtRandom · 08/05/2021 21:27

7-8 is fine to be left in a car for a short time.
Mine would actively choose to stay in the car rather than come in with me.

user1471457751 · 08/05/2021 21:29

@Pebbledashery is your child a toddler? Because that's a bit different to a 7/8 year old

AliceMcK · 08/05/2021 21:35

Fully depends on the child I think. One of mine I would, she is sensible enough, another definitely not, I’d come back to find her head trapped in the window or something. I also think it depends on location. My local Aldi I can usually get a spot right next to the door and I’d only be out of sight of the car for a short time. Any other supermarkets near me not a chance as they are far too busy and I would not be able to be gone just for a few minutes.

Brokenpencilsarepointless · 08/05/2021 21:38

I had to leave my 7 and 9 year old in the car all through the first lockdown. We only have a Tesco in our town, and they refused to allow children in. No childcare bubbles allowed at that time, I had no option. Couldnt get a delivery slot for weeks and weeks, security wouldn't let me in to shop with my kids. I'm a single parent. I had to leave them in the car, but they were 7 and 9 so not babies. That age is fine.

Rosebel · 08/05/2021 21:39

As others said it depends on the child. My eldest would have been fine for 20 minutes or so at 8. My middle daughter is autistic and I didn't leave her alone in the car until she was 11 and even now I'll only leave her for a few minutes if I have to pop in the shop for one or two items.
I wouldn't judge a mum leaving her child in the car at that age or for telling him off if he was messing about.

OnlyheretovoteonAIBU · 08/05/2021 21:44

How irritating for the mum, she should be able to leave a 7-8 yr old in a car for a minute without some do-gooder writing down her reg and reporting her. It’s not a baby and it sounds like she was nearby 🙄

ghostyslovesheets · 08/05/2021 21:48

@Hellocatshome

Ds is 12 and I wouldn't leave him. The temptation to fiddle with buttons would be too great..

Is he also unable to follow instructions such as "dont touch anything"

yes - my 12 year old stay home alone for hours - she also works voluntarily at a stable 8-4 every Sat - she's more than capable of being left in a car for 30 mins and she was at 8 - totally not getting the drama here

Oblomov21 · 08/05/2021 21:48

This would hack me right off. You're interfering. When my ds's were 8, they were very mature for their age and could have been left for a few minutes.

grapewine · 08/05/2021 21:49

It's fine.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 08/05/2021 21:51

@Aprilwasverywet

Ds is 12 and I wouldn't leave him. The temptation to fiddle with buttons would be too great..

That’s extremely strange! You do know secondary school age children, 11+ the majority walk home, navigating buses and road crossings and you wouldn’t trust a 12 year old not to let off a hand brake?!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 08/05/2021 21:51

@OnlyheretovoteonAIBU

Exactly! Mind your business ffs it’s not a baby in a car seat.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.