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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parent and child parking spaces

370 replies

WeightyMama · 08/05/2021 15:06

I’m aware I might get thrashed for this but here goes.

At what age child do you think you should stop using parent and child spaces? I went to the supermarket yesterday and there were no spaces left. I had to park quite far away with my baby so that I had somewhere with enough space to get everything sorted. On my way back to the spaces I noticed a woman getting back in the car with one child of about 12/23 years old. Child opened the back door, got in (no car seat), no issues.

AIBU to say that at that stage you should park in a normal spot and let others have the parking? I would understand if the child was heavy handed and might bash the door into a neighbouring car or something, but this child was far from that.

OP posts:
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HumunaHey · 08/05/2021 16:12

@purpledaisies Well in this, parenting--related, topic I was only left to assume PP, must not understand the practicalities of car seats. That could be a reason for such a strong opinion. Otherwise, it's annoying when other parents are so judgemental of a parents way of doing things.

I think you are the one who thought you had a "gotcha" moment but you're mistaken.

Sirzy · 08/05/2021 16:12

I would suggest not carrying the car seat then if her back is so bad! There are plenty of alternatives.

If the OP genuinely has to go home because of her back and no spaces then she should a) look at applying for a blue badge and b) will very much be in the minority of parents who can’t cope at all without a parent and child space.

They are handy when they are there but they really aren’t in any way essential

Sirzy · 08/05/2021 16:13

And please don’t compare disabled spaces and P and C spaces. The need is in no way at all comparable and by trying to compare you really don’t help your argument

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 08/05/2021 16:14

@newnortherner111

Personally I'd say once they start secondary school. I do acknowledge having used them a couple of times with my dad when he was alive (almost blind, had a blue badge for him which I displayed) when disabled parking spaces were all taken.
As someone who currently ticks all of the boxes for needing a P&C space, I’d have happily given you my space for your dad.
ghostyslovesheets · 08/05/2021 16:15

plus if all the disabled spaces are full - people have to wait for one to come free - which people can also do with P+C spaces

FTEngineerM · 08/05/2021 16:16

[quote WeightyMama]@Bourbonic I have to put my baby in the car seat in the trolley. Baby and car seat are really very heavy and I have a bad back, so having it closer would be a big help for me.[/quote]
This doesn’t make sense, you then need to push it around the shop getting all of your necessities so will do a far greater amount of steps inside the shop. Doubling the distance to the car isn’t actually going to increase the step count of the whole trip by much at all.

flashylamp · 08/05/2021 16:20

I park in a P&C space on the very rare occasion my 11 year old autistic child is with me.

Nobody needs me to explain this and if you are all judging me at the supermarket when you see me do it you can rest assured your judgement isn't the worst thing I will face that day.

Child does not get a BB because according to DWP who have never met them and local council who have also not carried out any sort of information gathering task they do not meet the criteria.

Volcanoexplorer · 08/05/2021 16:21

My kids are 8 and 5. I don’t park in them anymore because I consider mine too old to need it. Personally I always think they’re for people with babies and toddlers. Maybe older if you have a child with additional needs. Mine don’t and I don’t need to park in them now.

SprayedWithDettol · 08/05/2021 16:21

I think each parent can decide the cut off. Children develop at different rates. Some might need more help with seatbelts than others even though out of a car seat. Some children might not have good special awareness and bang open doors whilst other children of the same age don’t. And arbitrary age isn’t the answer.

Pinkpaisley · 08/05/2021 16:22

When dd was tiny I used a sling.
When she got heavier and that started straining my back, I switched to smaller more frequent shops and would just use the bottom of the stroller and a hand basket to gather my items.
I also had the privilege of having a partner so if we needed especially large or heavy items we could strategize purchasing those when we were both available. These days there is delivery so that would be an option for those items.

Twizbe · 08/05/2021 16:22

[quote WeightyMama]@Pinkpaisley no I didn’t know that it was dangerous, so the rudeness is a bit uncalled for. No baby seat trollies, so what should I do? How do I use the supermarket with my child? Which I have to do?[/quote]
I had a fixed car seat with both mine. Eldest I used baby trollies until he could go in the usual seat.

With my second I had a revelation. I got a cloth sling which was AMAZING! She is a winter baby, so I could put this sling on under my coat before leaving the house. At the supermarket it was a quick transfer for her from seat to sling and under my coat. She was safe and secure in the sling for the shop. Even better it was sooooo light and easy to wear. My DD was over 9lbs at birth and never felt that heavy in this sling

BrumBoo · 08/05/2021 16:23

Bloody p and c parking spaces. I have two kids (both suspected ASD) and one on the way and I find them nothing but hassle. I go shopping at quieter times, especially when I can either leave the younger one with his dad or he's at nursery. Older one has never been a bolter and can quite easily manage a walk across a parking ground, but have to be careful with him opening the car door (that's just being a 5 year old though!). I used to get a delivery for the main bulk of stuff before Covid, shopping with babies/toddlers is pretty exhausting at times anyway.

It's just a mild inconvenience not to have the P and C space, it's far more of an issue for those with disabilities (especially hidden or not recognised for a BB), I'd sooner all the closer spaces be taken by those who actually need them, whether that's instantly recognisable or not.

SmudgeButt · 08/05/2021 16:24

My husband uses the P&C spots occasionally when he's out with his mom. Technically it's ok but given he's in his 60s some might think him a bit too old to be considered a child. (some might change their minds again after they get to know him.)

Granted this is only when it's a better option than handicapped spots. I never understand why some P&C spots are bigger, closer to the shops than the handicapped ones. fyi - MiL is 94 and uses a wheelchair and qualifies for a blue badge.

3AndStopping · 08/05/2021 16:25

Mumsnet (despite the name) seems to hate parents having anything to make their lives easier, especially parking! The entitlement, dear lord!

I have a 4 year old, 2 year old & I’m pregnant. Trust me... I need the extra space, unless you want me pressing my door up against yours...

I wouldn’t care if they were further away, but they are put closer so they are safer. People who park there with no children or kids not in car seats are just selfish IMO, I won’t be doing it when my kids are older.

Sparklingbrook · 08/05/2021 16:25

If I was in charge i'd get rid of P&C spaces altogether. In my local town there aren't any. The supermarket car parks are owned by the council, plenty of Disabled spaces but no P&C. Amazingly people with children still manage to get their shopping done. Shock

That aside, it's reassuring to see an AIBU thread about P&C spaces after sooo long. They used to be at least a weekly occurrence. Things are really getting back to normal. Smile

NotFrozen · 08/05/2021 16:25

OP I agree. I think it’s selfish to park in one of those spaces with a 12 year old. They should be used by parents who need extra space helping children and babies out of the car.

Sparklingbrook · 08/05/2021 16:26

@3AndStopping

Mumsnet (despite the name) seems to hate parents having anything to make their lives easier, especially parking! The entitlement, dear lord!

I have a 4 year old, 2 year old & I’m pregnant. Trust me... I need the extra space, unless you want me pressing my door up against yours...

I wouldn’t care if they were further away, but they are put closer so they are safer. People who park there with no children or kids not in car seats are just selfish IMO, I won’t be doing it when my kids are older.

What does make life easier is a car with rear sliding doors-game changer for me when the DC were small.
ghostyslovesheets · 08/05/2021 16:27

That aside, it's reassuring to see an AIBU thread about P&C spaces after sooo long. They used to be at least a weekly occurrence. Things are really getting back to normal

Lockdown is easing - the ends in sight - yay for P+C spaces, ear piercing, giving babies chocolate, MIL's and smoking in door ways!

Original poster
WeightyMama · 08/05/2021 16:28

@FTEngineerM yes. It I won’t have to carry the car seat as the trolly is taking its weight? My back is bad because of carrying, nothing to do with steps?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 08/05/2021 16:28

@ghostyslovesheets

That aside, it's reassuring to see an AIBU thread about P&C spaces after sooo long. They used to be at least a weekly occurrence. Things are really getting back to normal

Lockdown is easing - the ends in sight - yay for P+C spaces, ear piercing, giving babies chocolate, MIL's and smoking in door ways!

You know what I can’t wait for? Reclining seats on an airplane thread. Well know then that we’re really in the clear. Grin
NotFrozen · 08/05/2021 16:29

@flashylamp no normal person would judge you for using the space- of course that is completely appropriate. If anyone looked sideways at you for this then he/she would deserve a slap!

VeganVeal · 08/05/2021 16:30

I park in the parent and child. I'm 43 and dear old mum id 65. I'm still her child, if you dont like it log it with 101

3AndStopping · 08/05/2021 16:30

@Sparklingbrook Yeah we looked at them when buying our MPV, but they only really came on the higher end/more expensive ones.

Even with them though sometimes the gap for getting kids out (in a normal space) would be minuscule especially with a humungous bump to navigate. 😂

FTEngineerM · 08/05/2021 16:30

Odd, I’d assume you’d get the nearest trolley from one of those bays rather than at the door.

Maybe it’s different in every shop I’ve ever been to.

ghostyslovesheets · 08/05/2021 16:31

You know what I can’t wait for? Reclining seats on an airplane thread. Well know then that we’re really in the clear OMG yes - and other peoples kids in pools, peanuts on planes, and towel wars