Parent and child parking spaces

[WeightyMama]

I’m aware I might get thrashed for this but here goes.

At what age child do you think you should stop using parent and child spaces? I went to the supermarket yesterday and there were no spaces left. I had to park quite far away with my baby so that I had somewhere with enough space to get everything sorted. On my way back to the spaces I noticed a woman getting back in the car with one child of about 12/23 years old. Child opened the back door, got in (no car seat), no issues.

AIBU to say that at that stage you should park in a normal spot and let others have the parking? I would understand if the child was heavy handed and might bash the door into a neighbouring car or something, but this child was far from that.

For some reason I've never understood parent and child parking really annoys a large chunk of Mumsnet.

You get the, "I went shopping on a bus with six dc and never had any issues brigade".

Also people who talk about blue badge spaces even though they are aren't overlapping issues.

I've never understood why providing a service for families with small dc draws so much wrath on a website for families. But it always has.

I had twins and needed a special twin trolley kept at the front of the store by P&C parking.
I stopped using the spaces once dc were past toddler stage.

We don’t need P&C spaces as you can park and walk into the shop. If you need more space to get the car seat out, park away from other cars. If you think your DC’s will damage cars when they open the doors, have door locks or teach them how to behave.
What is needed are many more disabled spaces and the supermarket to monitor the correct use of them.

I have to say the supermarkets I used had a lot of disabled parking and much less P&C parking.
I never saw the disabled parking full and P&C often was.

Should be pregnant women to 5 year old children imo. I remember on several occasions trying to squeeze my heavily pregnant bump into my car. Also baby car seats need loads of room to get the door open.
I don't park in the p and c if I only have my 7 year old; I try to park on and end so he can swing the door open if he needs to.

@PurpleDaisies

HumunaHey *@ghostylovesheets* Do you have any children?* yes I have 3 - at one time I had a baby, 4 year old and 6 years old - why?

I expect they were hoping for a “gotcha...people without kids are all clueless and stupid child haters”. That sort of post seems to be all over the site at the moment.

Why can’t people just accept other people have different opinions that don’t fall along lines of whether you’ve had kids or not?

Funnily enough, the reason I asked was that @ghostylovesheets had such a strong opinion about people having babies in car seats out of cars. Is it not hard to fathom, that a parent would have different opinions about this, or need to have the baby in a car seat out of the car for ither reasons.

I use one if it’s free even when I’ve only got DD1(7) because she’s in a high back booster seat. She can get herself in but she can’t do the seat belt up because the seat overlaps over the plug. I have to slightly move the seat when she’s in it to get her strapped in and she can’t do that herself.

I also have DD2(7mo) though so I really do need the space to get her in and out.

The situation you describe OP does sound like she didn’t need it but we can’t know for sure. The time I got really hacked off though was a large work van flung into the P&C spaces in a way that took up two spaces. It was pissing it down and I had to traipse across the car park with my newborn whilst a man sat in the van waiting for his colleague.

Is it not hard to fathom, that a parent would have different opinions about this, or need to have the baby in a car seat out of the car for ither reasons.

Yes, of course-all parents have identical opinions and the only reason someone would hold a different opinion is because they aren’t a parent. You see that played out in practice on every thread where all thd parents agree.
Oh wait...

Spend two seconds reading about how BBs are allocated and you’ll realise the system is utterly unfair and broken at the moment

This. I used parent and child spaces when I took my mum shopping. She was in her 90s, with very little mobility and I couldn’t get a blue badge for her. I’m delighted to say I was never challenged and nobody ever gave us a second glance.

@PascalHey

I think I need the space more now than I did when mine were babies/toddlers (mine are only 4&6 now). As a little baby I would take them out of the car seat and place them in the baby chair. As older babies/toddlers I would take them out and put them in the child seat in the trolley. Now they're at an age where they can reach the handles so are more likely to swing it open into a car parked next to us in a normal space. Hmmm.

Anyway to answer your question, yes I think 12 is too old. Maybe 9 would be my limit for a NT child with no physical disabilities.

Does you car not have kiddie locks on the back doors? No way would I drive small kids around without them.

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

YANBU but aot of people on MN just about wet themselves with the excitement of making sure a parent with young children should know they have no right to those parking spaces, anyone can park in them, and they will most definitely have a hidden disability (very rarely the case). It's quite pathetic.

This. ^

@WeightyMama YANBU at all.

In answer to your question, I would say 12 should be the upper age limit for a child. (For people to use the P & C spaces.)

@lakesidelife

I have to say the supermarkets I used had a lot of disabled parking and much less P&C parking. I never saw the disabled parking full and P&C often was.

Often people who really should be entitled to a disabled badge aren’t given one so they can’t park in the disabled spaces. I’m more than happy for them to park in the P&C spaces if they need them.

However, it would be better if they could get the disabled badge and leave the spaces for people with babies and young children.

[quote WeightyMama]@Pinkpaisley no I didn’t know that it was dangerous, so the rudeness is a bit uncalled for. No baby seat trollies, so what should I do? How do I use the supermarket with my child? Which I have to do?[/quote]
I mostly used a sling for the newborn to sitting up in trolley stage, obviously it depends on your back problems but good ones spread the weight quite well so might be easier then lugging a heavy car seat round.

@ghostyslovesheets

a parent with a child - they can park there

I always wonder how thick people are to post stuff like this. The parking spaces aren't actually enforcable so I can park there without a child. Clearly what OP is asking is whether it's reasonable and no it isn't unless the child has SEN or a disability which prevents them walking across a car park.

The 12 year old you saw might have had autism or some some sort of special need that you cant see. I dont think you should judge other people. People with hidden disabilities get judged all the time.

The signs usually state "child aged 12 and under"

[quote WeightyMama]@PascalHey I realise my no? Sounded a bit arsey, but it was more because I don’t know what they are! I haven’t seen one. Maybe I need to find a different supermarket but it’s the closest.

To everyone saying spots should be far away, I have explained why it would be beneficial for me to be closer! But I understand those with disabilities using them if there are no free space - but at my supermarket disabled spaces are just as close as p&c which is good, sorry to hear in some places they arent[/quote]
This is what I mean. They're at all the large supermarkets near me.

[quote WeightyMama]@ghostyslovesheets you haven’t answered my question which I’ve asked repeatedly; at what age is the cut off point? Presuming no issues or disabilities.

And good for you that you carried your children, as I said I have back problems, it isn’t brilliant for me to carry heavy baby and car seat.[/quote]
That’s the thing though. You can presume all you know but you don’t know what’s going on in someone’s life.

If a space is free use it. If it’s not then park somewhere else. A P and C space really isn’t worth worrying about

@lakesidelife Some supermarkets put parent and child spaces closer to the entrance than disabled places. My mum parks in parent and child spaces for this reason. And yes there will be disabled spaces free.
And yes getting a disabled badge is hard. Where I live you have to have the motability part of DLA to get it. I sometimes use the electric wheelchairs in ASDA, but because most of the time I can walk further than the 12 metres I think it is, then I am not entitled to one.

I personally stopped using them once kids got to 5 or so. Really only need them when kids are in car seats and cant get in or out by themselves.
No issue with them being near the door. Surely the less interaction with small kids and traffic the better?

I believe that if the child is still in a car seat (not a booster that some parents now use until they are 8 or so!) and a pram or having the child sit in the front seat of the shopping cart is required, then these are the people that should use those spots. If the child is old enough to get out of the car before mom is even out, or allowed to go to the park alone etc, then in my opinion they are too old to take these courtesy spots.

I suppose a child could be in a car seat until 12, and 12 seems like the official limit in most places so I'd go with that.

Common sense really should dictate, but sadly doesn't half the time. I don't use them if I have just my 10yo with me. I do if I have the toddler.

Personally I'd say once they start secondary school. I do acknowledge having used them a couple of times with my dad when he was alive (almost blind, had a blue badge for him which I displayed) when disabled parking spaces were all taken.

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

I wish they'd scrap the lot of them. So much whinging.

Let's just stop things people whinge about shall we? Screw safety, screw convenience

Alternatively people could have a bit of consideration.

[quote WeightyMama]@ghostyslovesheets you haven’t answered my question which I’ve asked repeatedly; at what age is the cut off point? Presuming no issues or disabilities.

And good for you that you carried your children, as I said I have back problems, it isn’t brilliant for me to carry heavy baby and car seat.[/quote]
I have in my response to that post - I don;t know - I said that - but then I'm not policing them either as I don;t know why someone with older children might need them.

@Sirzy the OP has a bad back and needs to open the doors wide and to carry her car seat with the baby in it a short distance.

Stating 'A p&C space isn't worth worrying about' is a shitty thing to say. Perhaps someone taking that space that didn't genuinely need it means that OP can't park elsewhere and has to return home. I'd never state to anyone who required a disabled space 'it's not worth worrying about I'm sure you're able to park further away and get into the shop regardless' as they do need it. Some days they are all full for genuine reasons. But it's shitty people who use these p&C spaces and disabled spaces without really needing too as it can completely screw up someone's day, and it's shitty people who can't empathise that it's frustrating (at least) for some people who can't use them. Not all parents need them. I had a small car and could manoeuvre my LO at a push in a regular space and had no health issues so could carry her far if I needed to. This OP fully deserves to use the so easy provided