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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parent and child parking spaces

370 replies

WeightyMama · 08/05/2021 15:06

I’m aware I might get thrashed for this but here goes.

At what age child do you think you should stop using parent and child spaces? I went to the supermarket yesterday and there were no spaces left. I had to park quite far away with my baby so that I had somewhere with enough space to get everything sorted. On my way back to the spaces I noticed a woman getting back in the car with one child of about 12/23 years old. Child opened the back door, got in (no car seat), no issues.

AIBU to say that at that stage you should park in a normal spot and let others have the parking? I would understand if the child was heavy handed and might bash the door into a neighbouring car or something, but this child was far from that.

OP posts:
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ImInStealthMode · 08/05/2021 15:37

I only noticed the other day but the floor markings in a couple of our local multi-storeys are an adult and a buggy, not an adult and a child. To my mind that's at least indicating intended use only by those with a buggy (or child of the appropriate age to be lifted or climbing in and out of a car seat).

1940s · 08/05/2021 15:38

Anyone who believes a parent with an able bodied no sen 12 year old has the same rights to a large space (usually) closer to the shops than a parent who needs to open the doors wider to fit a child into a car seat, or in this specific instance put a car seat in and out is talking out of their arse. Nobody can defend that logic that the parent of the 12 year old has the same needs and entitlement to that space than a parent with car seat / moving car seats. There is absolutely no reason a parent with an able bodied 12 year old with no sen needs to have a parent and child space. Regardless of the sign in the shop use your bloody common sense and make life a little easier on people that need it.

NRE20 · 08/05/2021 15:38

@WeightyMama @Bourbonic

It’s not necessarily about the distance from the supermarket, although it’s safer having child spaces closer to the supermarket, rather than walking behind parked cars that may potentially reverse into your baby. It’s about the spacing between the non child-friendly spaces.

When my son was a baby, I had to park in a normal space because there weren’t any child ones available. When I came back, cars were parked either side and I couldn’t open any of the doors wide enough to get the car seat back in. I had to ask a couple passing by, if they would look after my son, so I could reverse out to get him in. It was very stressful at the time.

I think if kids are old enough to strap themselves in and get out carefully, then you shouldn’t need to park in a child-friendly space. I never used them with my step children, who I met when they were 7 and 8.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 08/05/2021 15:39

@ghostyslovesheets

your needs don't trump other peoples though - sorry
Yeah, I'm sure sometimes they probably do.
HumunaHey · 08/05/2021 15:39

@ghostylovesheets Do you have any children?

minniemomo · 08/05/2021 15:39

My dd has autism, you can't tell that from looking at her. On a good day she would be obliging but at that age sometimes I would have to manhandle her into the seat and sometimes her younger sister would clip her in as her dexterity deteriorates with mood. She's an adult now and eligible for blue badge

PurpleDaisies · 08/05/2021 15:40

@Thatisnotwhatisaid

I’d say up to 12 unless there’s disabilities involved and the blue badge spots are taken.
I think it’s important to remember not all disabilities qualify for a blue badge, and not even everyone who should get one actually does. Adults and children without BB but with a good reason should still be able to use PC spaces.

I don’t think anyone would begrudge a heavily pregnant women using one even though they’re not usually technically entitled to.

ghostyslovesheets · 08/05/2021 15:40

I used to carry mine, use a baby trolley or take the pram (mainly shopped online to save the hassle)

It's just my view - small babies spending a long time in a hard car seat scrunched up just isn't something I like - so wouldn;t do it - but I don;t and didn't use P+C spaces as a rule either

I have answered you question by the way - sorry I don't agree that your need trumps another parents - we never know what issues other families are facing do we ?

HumunaHey · 08/05/2021 15:40

@1940s

Anyone who believes a parent with an able bodied no sen 12 year old has the same rights to a large space (usually) closer to the shops than a parent who needs to open the doors wider to fit a child into a car seat, or in this specific instance put a car seat in and out is talking out of their arse. Nobody can defend that logic that the parent of the 12 year old has the same needs and entitlement to that space than a parent with car seat / moving car seats. There is absolutely no reason a parent with an able bodied 12 year old with no sen needs to have a parent and child space. Regardless of the sign in the shop use your bloody common sense and make life a little easier on people that need it.
Exactly! Equity is different from equality.
HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 08/05/2021 15:41

I wish they'd scrap the lot of them. So much whinging.

ghostyslovesheets · 08/05/2021 15:41

[quote HumunaHey]@ghostylovesheets Do you have any children?[/quote]
yes I have 3 - at one time I had a baby, 4 year old and 6 years old - why?

MrsTophamHat · 08/05/2021 15:41

@Bourbonic

As you asked what I think, I think they should be done away with completely or if used should be put far from the door with a walkway to it.

As you've specifically mentioned how far away the space was, why is walking a little further such a big deal? You have a baby so it isn't like the traffic is a danger.

I firmly agree with this. Where supermarkets have p&c places further away from the doors, accessible by a walkway, there is far more availability. I use them for the width; I don't need to be near the entrance.
Pinkpaisley · 08/05/2021 15:41

You do realize that putting the car seat on the trolley is incredibly dangerous? It makes it too heavy and prone to tipping over. I saw it happen just before dd was born. Did a little googling and realized it wasn’t a freak accident. After that I just left the car seat in my car and carried dd while I shopped until she was old enough to sit up in the trolley. With that you still have to be careful, but it’s not as bad in terms of center of gravity.

So basically the whole discussion is pointless because you shouldn’t be taking the car seat out of your car in the first place.

Donitta · 08/05/2021 15:42

If your child uses a car seat and you need to open the door wider to lift them out and buckle them in, then it’s reasonable to use a P&C space. The spaces are designed with extra width for exactly that reason.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 08/05/2021 15:42

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

I wish they'd scrap the lot of them. So much whinging.
You realise you don't need to read the threads?
Original poster
WeightyMama · 08/05/2021 15:43

@minniemomo I totally appreciate that I didn’t consider disabilities. Do you not get a blue badge on behalf of your child? That doesn’t seem fair?

OP posts:
Ravenclawsome · 08/05/2021 15:43

As you asked what I think, I think they should be done away with completely or if used should be put far from the door with a walkway to it.

I used to think that. Then I had DS (just turned 3), who is a bolter.

We do use reins a lot but it is a hell of a lot safer to only have a short distance to walk than to have to go the length of the car park.

HumunaHey · 08/05/2021 15:43

@ghostyslovesheets

I used to carry mine, use a baby trolley or take the pram (mainly shopped online to save the hassle)

It's just my view - small babies spending a long time in a hard car seat scrunched up just isn't something I like - so wouldn;t do it - but I don;t and didn't use P+C spaces as a rule either

I have answered you question by the way - sorry I don't agree that your need trumps another parents - we never know what issues other families are facing do we ?

HmmThe baby trollies are much harder than any car seat, and they have the same positioning/structure, so baby would still be "scrunched up".
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 08/05/2021 15:43

They are often next to paths to the shop entrance.
I personally haven't used one in a while. I prefer to park at the back of the car park where there's more space for my tank (aka a Land Rover). The exception I when I'm with my Mother whose in that in between stage of not having enough mobility issues to get a Blue Badge but struggles to get out of a car without space and can't walk far.

I think we need to have more understanding towards others... Don't use them if you don't need them, and accept that people use them for reasons that might not be obvious.

(DH once got moaned at for using one when he was on crutches... Despite having the children with him, he just hadn't had the chance to let them out the car)

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 08/05/2021 15:44

@Pinkpaisley

You do realize that putting the car seat on the trolley is incredibly dangerous? It makes it too heavy and prone to tipping over. I saw it happen just before dd was born. Did a little googling and realized it wasn’t a freak accident. After that I just left the car seat in my car and carried dd while I shopped until she was old enough to sit up in the trolley. With that you still have to be careful, but it’s not as bad in terms of center of gravity.

So basically the whole discussion is pointless because you shouldn’t be taking the car seat out of your car in the first place.

You realise that not all places that you go to shop will have trollies. Shopping centers for example.
PurpleDaisies · 08/05/2021 15:44

HumunaHey
*@ghostylovesheets Do you have any children?
yes I have 3 - at one time I had a baby, 4 year old and 6 years old - why?

I expect they were hoping for a “gotcha...people without kids are all clueless and stupid child haters”. That sort of post seems to be all over the site at the moment.

Why can’t people just accept other people have different opinions that don’t fall along lines of whether you’ve had kids or not?

Original poster
WeightyMama · 08/05/2021 15:44

@ghostyslovesheets you haven’t answered my question which I’ve asked repeatedly; at what age is the cut off point? Presuming no issues or disabilities.

And good for you that you carried your children, as I said I have back problems, it isn’t brilliant for me to carry heavy baby and car seat.

OP posts:
omgthepain · 08/05/2021 15:45

Our local Sainsbury's have more blue badge than parent and child spaces and they're nearly always empty and the few parent and child ones are always full it's ridiculous

Age wise I'd say when kids can get in/out on their own and don't have childlocls etc x

PurpleDaisies · 08/05/2021 15:46

[quote WeightyMama]@minniemomo I totally appreciate that I didn’t consider disabilities. Do you not get a blue badge on behalf of your child? That doesn’t seem fair?[/quote]
Spend two seconds reading about how BBs are allocated and you’ll realise the system is utterly unfair and broken at the moment.

Original poster
WeightyMama · 08/05/2021 15:47

@Pinkpaisley no I didn’t know that it was dangerous, so the rudeness is a bit uncalled for. No baby seat trollies, so what should I do? How do I use the supermarket with my child? Which I have to do?

OP posts: