To think looking good is a lot of work

[ponderinginpoughkeepsie]

A year ago I had a revelation of sorts when I looked in a passing window and hated everything about my appearance. I looked scruffy, my hair was a frizzy, badly managed, too long mess, I was about four stone overweight and not carrying it off well. I decided to change and have since lost weight and tried to make myself a bit more presentable. I was also rejected by three job offers in a row and felt that maybe my appearance had something to do with it (although it shouldn't have, but I know how these things work!)
A year later and I'm much happier but I'm finding it a lot! Waking up two hours earlier to shower and work out, the new shower routine with exfoliating/ moisturiser and then picking clothes, ironing clothes!! I fall asleep at 8pm most nights as I'm exhausted (probably partly as a way to not snack as well).

Are there a few hacks I'm missing? I have to work out first thing as I just won't do it after work, nursery pick up etc. I'm 32 so I feel I really should have more energy.

Meh. I manage to look perfectly presentable without having to exfoliate/work out, and I haven’t ironed anything in over a decade. I agree everyone should look clean and put together for work etc, but there’s a middle ground that doesn’t require so much effort.

If you’re happier that’s fine, but it’s concerning that you’re finding it so exhausting you’re falling asleep so early. Do you have a partner/husband? Surely this must be taking its toll on your relationship if your new beauty routine is removing any chance of spending some quality time together in the evenings?

I’d be getting a blood test for iron levels etc.

I wouldn't get up earlier to shower/exfoliate!
I generally shower at night to save getting up early. Exfoliate maybe once a week.
I like to iron everything in one go once a week. Keeps on top of everything. Only iron things I absolutely have to though.
I don't work out but do have a dog that I walk far and wide but to me it's kinda my hobby.
Friends who work out do commit to x times a week. Some get up early to do it, some after work.
Key is to find a routine that works for you.

Yes. It requires hard work

Up to you to decide if it's worth it

You don’t have to do everything every day. In fact you definitely shouldn’t. You should be having rest days from exercise, definitely shouldn’t exfoliate daily and why are you ironing? Even when I did a suit and blouse heavy corporate job ironing was a fifteen to twenty minute task on a Sunday night.

Work out a routine and do some things less often but do them well and make sure the days all fit together, e.g. Sunday you organise a week’s clothes but skip another task, Monday you skip a workout but exfoliate, and so on.

Why give yourself so much work?

I always find these threads interesting as if someone overweight posts 'I can't lose weight' the narrative is very much 'we slim people all make time and sacrifices' Yet when someone posts something like this (still with a BMI of above 30) lots of people say 'well we never exercise and still look great.' I am still a size 14 I don't think anyone could say that I'm going too far!

It is hard work to look good, do your hair and makeup each morning, to iron all your clothes etc as well as looking after a nursery aged child. I'm not surprised you are tired.

As you've lost a lot of weight, please think about whether your diet contains enough vitamins and nutrition to sustain you. Others are right it won't hurt to get your iron and vitamin D levels checked, you can ask GP to do a blood test or you can get an online postal blood prick test done privately (costs about £30-80 and is self done at home all via post) - I used medicheck to do mine when they had an offer on but there are others out there and other checks they offer.

medichecks.com/products/health-and-lifestyle-check-blood-test

I can't recommend taking daily multi vitamins enough. In U.K. for eg Asda own brand do them so cheaply as do other supermarkets. (Ie £3 for 2-3 months supply)

In terms of hacks

• iron your clothes in one go for a couple hours once a week, or use tumble drier (I rarely iron) as it's more tile efficient.

Practice your makeup- youtube has lots of great videos and the more you practice the quicker it becomes. My DD does full face of makeup in 30 mins- and I use colour correcting all in one facepowder (Mineral magic) for normal days that I don't have time for foundation so my makeup takes less than 8 minutes in total.

I don't wash my hair each morning- but looked on youtube for some wonderful 'up do's that look professional and don't take long.

I get ready in less than 30 mins each morning (single parent) but hope that none of DCs breakfast or toothpaste gets on my clothes! Quite often I put my smart top in at the last minute or wear and apron when I'm cooking breakfast or making packed lunches. It's very houseguest you do that but no one but DC see me in the morning!

I hope any of these help.

I meant it's 'very housewife' to wear an apron but it helps in busy mornings to protect your clothes

Good for you op. Have you tried HIIT exercise? It's super high impact. Do 15-20 mins if that per week and you'll see a difference. There are videos on YouTube but be careful as you can hurt yourself if not careful! I agree you don't want to be exfoliating every day though! Maybe alternate that with other things, hair mask / self face massage, fake tan. If it's making you feel better about yourself it's all good. Finally, don't forget to nurture your brain too! Reading / podcasts... it's not all about what you look like, but what you have to say too!!!

You're right - looking good is hard work! It's easy to look like a slob, you don't have to do anything at all unless you're magically blessed with great bone structure, great hair and a great figure. I hate to tell you this too, but it becomes harder work and more expensive as you get older too. You're only 32, so working out regularly and having a shower and ironing your clothes is enough - in your mid-40s you'll have to do waaayy more than that.

You really don't have to work out every day though (3x a week is enough), you could iron your clothes for the week at the weekend, and you could also overhaul your wardrobe so you don't have so many things that need ironing. Blouses have to be ironed, but dresses don't. Showering/shaving your legs/exfoliating can be done before bed. No way would I be getting up 2 hours early to do that shit!

@emmylousings yes I love HIIT! That's what I do every morning so I don't do a full hour, the only problem is i get so sweaty (I'm a greasy person) I have to shower afterwards. That used to be a quick process but now I can't wash, through elasticated trousers on and run out the house with wet hair, it's proving to be quite time consuming!

There is always a balance a happy medium. Forums like this tend to end up having polarised opinions and responses. I have two row school children and I couldn’t do what you do. But I do excessive twice a week and exfoliate etc once a week and wash my hair every other day. I find looking out together for me is more about a regular decent hair cut and colour and nice non ironed clothes and drinking water

Well done for persevering OP. I think that you should be proud of yourself. I know what you mean about the morning. I do all my mental work in the morning because after work I’m too tired.

Which kind of diet are you on OP? There might be some tweaks there to give you more energy

How often are you working out? Your body needs rest days. I run twice a week and that's enough for me. Maybe you could cut down.

Also exfoliating daily isn't ideal either imo, could you twice once or twice a week instead.

Ok I’m not professing to look great at all, but I like to look groomed, but I don’t spends loads of time on it.
I would only exfoliate my legs in summer, and once a week. In the shower, it would take maybe an extra 2 mins. I bought a lumea to reduce generally hairiness too, so shaving isn’t a big chore either. Also put on some moisturiser quickly after a shower.
Once every 2 weeks I will remove hard skin on feet, paint nails and moisturise my feet. 30 mins max. At the same time I will wax, shape and tint eyebrows.
I either have gel nails, or paint my own quickly at night after cleansing my face. Pale or clear shades are easiest. Use a spray or drops to dry them faster.
I iron (quickly) on a Sunday night and can do my work stuff and X2 kids school uniforms in 30 mins. I will also polish / clean my shoes once a week too.
Hair is washed every 3 days, and I will do a bun or some kind of up-do in days 2 & 3.
Make up doesn’t take ages, between 5-15 mins. In a morning I can shower, hair, make up and leave the house in 40 mins for work. All prep for packed lunches etc is fine the night before.
Pre-covid I used to swim 3 times a week, but i need to get back into that habit.

@threeteenstaximum thank you! You sound superhuman! I have no help in the mornings too, it's exhausting isn't it? Sometimes I have to pour Cheerios in a bowl whilst lunging. Avoiding the toothpaste is a real struggle, thanks for the apron tip!

@Mellonsprite read that back. That certainly sounds time consuming! At least I have an excuse for my terrible nails (working in healthcare.)

@firstimemamma I'm not going to cut back until I get to a healthy BMI. Seven lots of 20 mins and two sessions of hour long Zumba per week is fine, health wise.

Well done on what you have achieved so far OP!

Do you need to moisturise every day? I just use soap on a loofah and that's it:gentle exfoliating. I moisturise only if my skin gets dry. If you have drier skin, could you try using something like dove shower gel? That makes my skin super soft, as it moisturises at the same time.

Bare minimum for makeup. I'm 32 and I just dab on face powder (oily skin here too) then bronzer/blusher, 1 shade of eye shadow and mascara. Takes me 5 mins.

And yes if you are dark haired, a lumen type thing is amazing!

[quote ponderinginpoughkeepsie]@Mellonsprite read that back. That certainly sounds time consuming! At least I have an excuse for my terrible nails (working in healthcare.) [/quote]
Lol, honestly it’s not. I’m fairly lazy at home and look for short cuts anywhere I can, everything is done as quickly as possible. I get up on the last minute and value my time in bed / relaxing!
Well done on the weight loss by the way!

It is definitely time consuming. I'm up at 6am at the moment, do a 45 minute body balance class. But i don't get sweaty from it so don't need to shower after so don't need to wash and dry my hair. That's time consuming for sure. I only wear light makeup which takes maybe 5 mins. And like most on here, I don't iron. But I work from home so don't have to look smart. I have a bath every evening and wash my hair then. You've got to find what works for you. Bed at 8 sounds early though. 11pm is when I go. 10pm if I'm very tired. 7/8 hours sleep should be enough.

I work out a lot (and my body looks obviously fit and strong as a result) but it's mainly through a sport I enjoy with friends, so it's not work, it's the best part of my day. Exercise however isn't a major factor in weight-loss. Obviously it plays a part but diet is the main factor. I eat very little processed sugar, lots of fruit and veg, focus more on protein than starchy cabs, so have lots of eggs and full fat dairy.

I usually make the effort to wash my face and moisturise every morning and night. Usually. I brush my teeth and hair. I dye my hair every couple of months. I don't find that my clothes require ironing unless I've stored them badly. Admittedly, apart from big jumpers in winter, I wear mainly very fitted clothes, so they don't show wrinkles.

I think your doing brilliantly- I’ve lost 3.5 stone and have to work hard to keep it off. I remind myself that diet is the biggest part of this but I also exercise 6 times a week and love it. It has toned my body so much more and I just feel more confident in my skin. Perhaps different habits eg doing all ironing one eve rather than every day might help? I definitely don’t exfoliate or have as good a skin routine!

What about moving exercise to the evening? Then you can do a ‘heavy’ shower then and wash your hair and just a quick 5 min shower in the morning and stile your dry hair.

Makeup can be very quick if you get the right stuff.

A good concealer, a translucent powder, a gold eyeshadow stick, mascara me lip tint. 5 mins. I do mind in traffic.