To think looking good is a lot of work

[ponderinginpoughkeepsie]

A year ago I had a revelation of sorts when I looked in a passing window and hated everything about my appearance. I looked scruffy, my hair was a frizzy, badly managed, too long mess, I was about four stone overweight and not carrying it off well. I decided to change and have since lost weight and tried to make myself a bit more presentable. I was also rejected by three job offers in a row and felt that maybe my appearance had something to do with it (although it shouldn't have, but I know how these things work!)
A year later and I'm much happier but I'm finding it a lot! Waking up two hours earlier to shower and work out, the new shower routine with exfoliating/ moisturiser and then picking clothes, ironing clothes!! I fall asleep at 8pm most nights as I'm exhausted (probably partly as a way to not snack as well).

Are there a few hacks I'm missing? I have to work out first thing as I just won't do it after work, nursery pick up etc. I'm 32 so I feel I really should have more energy.

Good for you OP! I agree it's time consuming and I don't always manage it.

My hacks are:

Dry shampoo every other day
Cycle or run to work so that I kill two birds with one stone (exercise and commute)
Jersey wrap dresses - don't need ironing and travel well in my rucksack
Get my eyebrows threaded and eyebrows and lashes dyed every few weeks so that I can skip eye make up if I'm short on time
I really like the Sanctuary body moisturiser with AHAs that you put on your wet body just after a shower. It takes 10 seconds and exfoliates and moisturises at the same time so is very efficient.

Overall I find diet much more effective at controlling my weight than exercise. My old PT used to say "abs are made in the kitchen" and "you can't outrun a bad diet". So as long as I'm eating ok I don't worry too much about exercise.

I am also trying to make myself look more presentable after many years of neglecting myself for my children. And like you, I am shocked by how long it takes. I am doing a lot less than you though. I wash my hair twice a week and spend time blow drying it which I have found keeps it presentable for 2-3 days. I don’t iron but have clothes that don’t need it. I have started looking after my skin so can manage with just a bit of tinted moisturiser and mascara and look ok. I don’t work out but I am eating more healthily and walk my dog twice a day. Like others, I bath at night so that the most I need to do in the morning is two minutes in the shower to freshen up. It is time consuming but it’s quite nice feeling like I am taking care of myself again!

Do a 10 minute HIIT workout (YouTube) to save time.
Plan your clothes the night before
Review your diet- take multivitamins, don’t go to long without eating, review caffeine abs sugar intake for blood sugar crashes.
Maybe have a one evening or weekend morning for exfoliating, shape eyebrows, file nails etc.

Well done on all that. What are you top tips for your transformation?!

Back to you - Go to your GP to check there is no reason you are tired.

The working out sounds worth it for your long term health. But perhaps 3 morning a week and some other time at weekends?

Shower of your vital bits should just be couple mins. Exfoliation once a week tops. Are you washing your hair every AM? Can you tie it tightly in a bun when you excercise and avoid that?

Make up - go to Bobbi brown counter and get 5/7 min weekday routine - do it right and I bet you don’t need longer.

Hair - if you blow dry and tight it tight during exercise can it last 3 days - If not is there an easier cut / can you wear it up to tidy it / or a Brazilian blow dry?

Can you try a steamer not an iron and do it at the weekend? Or buy clothes that don’t need ironing?

(I mean it on your top tips... )

I would NOT count working out as part of looking good - that is a health issue. To me, looking good is more the work around grooming, make up, dressing well. I agree it takes a lot of time to look really good unless you're blessed with stunning natural good looks and an innate great sense of style.

I think I manage to look presentable but mainly by dressing quite well - I find makeup a faff so have got it down to the bare minimum 5 minute job of BB cream, blusher and highlighter using pens, eyeshadow pen, eyeliner pen (Charlotte Tilbury is great) and mascara for special occasions (as removing it irritates my eczema). My hair I still haven't fully figured out but I go for an Alexa Chung style long bob with a loose perm (as naturally my hair is dead straight and so so flat).

I think some shortcuts to looking elegant are - wearing sunglasses the second it stops raining; wearing a lot of black with statement jewellery or accessories; never looking creased (which for me means not buying something that needs ironing or else having an ironing lady, not doing it myself).

I can't believe the women I used to see commuting who'd show up at the train station at 730am with perfectly curled hair, full face of makeup, as well as great clothes. They must have got up at 5am or something to look like that, especially if they went to the gym too! Although I do know one girl who has long hair that she always curls the ends of, and she says she does it daily so now it only takes her 5 minutes, so maybe I should just get some better curlers... but I'd still rather have 5 minutes more sleep.

Congratulations on your weight loss and lifestyle changes.

Agree that being overweight can (v unfairly) be detrimental to job moves, promotions, performance ratings etc at work. Can also intersect with other things like sexism, ageism.

I focus on health: exercise makes a big difference to my mental health so I spend time on that daily. Wear OK clothes that fit (this gets easier with weight loss), keep clean etc - the basics!

But, other than basics, spend v little time on ‘beauty’ (skin, haircare etc) as prefer to spend my available leisure time on other things.

So from your routine would reduce exfoliation etc!

[quote ponderinginpoughkeepsie]@firstimemamma I'm not going to cut back until I get to a healthy BMI. Seven lots of 20 mins and two sessions of hour long Zumba per week is fine, health wise. [/quote]
OP please please be really, really careful doing HIIT this often, especially first thing. It's so easy to injure yourself or end up with achey joints.

Also meant to say - well done on it all! Sounds like you're doing brilliantly!

I agree. I don't bother with much makeup for work (bit of foundation, eyeliner and concealer which takes about 30 seconds to apply). Don't bother with mascara or eyeshadow usually but when I used to put it on before I had my daughter it did take up quite a chunk of my morning.

I do try to keep my fingernails and toenails painted which is fiddly and annoying. I wash my hair, exfoliate moisturise, buff my feet etc twice a week. I enjoy that though - pamper time! On the other days I just have a quick shower on a night time without products. I put bio oil on my face nearly every night. Pluck my eyebrows occasionally if I remember. Shave every other day,

I'm a bit obsessive with exercise and work out nearly every day which does take up a lot of time. I definitely don't get enough sleep.

I don't even own an iron haha. I think I'm a bit hit and miss with all this stuff!

The best tip I have is to invest in Dior Nail Glow - 2 coats of that and it looks like you’ve had a manicure. It’s amazing. I feel more out together when I put it on!

2L of water a day as well will overhaul your skin.

I am envious of your weight loss OP and sounds like you’re making great changes! As others have said, when you’re at your goal weight and just maintaining you can reduce exercise which may give you more energy?

I would do 30- 45 min cardio or hiit every other day, so you get sweaty and wash hair, and stretch/strength on the other day, so you can skip the hair wash. Exfoliate and use an overnight hair or face mask once a week.

I'm more of an exercise over grooming to look good

I don't think it's a lot of work IMO.

It's not a lot of work when you factor in what needs to be done. I mean showering everyday for a start - being fat is neither here nor there it depends how you carry it and the clothes you choose. Moisturise everyday and you're good to go. You won't be all things to all people no matter how much effort you put into it. So focus on being clean and and healthy; in a space you feel comfortable with yourself.

Outsource the ironing to someone you can either drop off and pick up from easily or with a collection and delivery service.

@firstimemamma that wasn't to sound sarcastic! I really did mean it

I do think you maybe need to change your mindset with evening exercising. If you want to be slim and look good you can’t just say you can’t be arsed to exercise in the evening and actually you’re not home that late at all. I also never iron - buy different clothes!

No OP, I completely agree.

I think I’d forgotten how bloody long it takes before lockdown lifted. I went to get my nails and for a spa pedicure the other day and it took FOUR hours!! Granted I am probably quite high maintenance because I get my lashes redone every three weeks which takes two hours and then my hair too😂 You shouldn’t be exfoliating every day though, it’s not good for your skin. Twice a week max, I couldn’t survive without moisturising every day though or my skin would feel awful.

I have a bath every Sunday (shower every day too) and I find it easier to do all of my shaving/exfoliating/hair masks then as a little pamper session. Takes probably an hour.

I very rarely iron though, I find most clothes don’t need it? Sometimes I give them a spray of crease release but I think I only own like two things that absolutely need an iron!

Have you tried writing down your morning routine and seeing how long everything roughly takes? This is mine:

0600: First alarm
0605: Get up, splash face with water, pee, get drink
0610 - 0630: Work out
0630 - 0640: Yoga
0640 - 0645: Shower
0645 - 0655: Dry off, put on dressing gown, apply deodorant and make up
0655 - 0710: Breakfast and take multivitamin
0710 - 0720: Brush teeth, get dressed, brush hair and put into a bun, apply perfume, out the door.

Bit sad but writing it down made it easier to plan out what I can realistically do it that time frame.

• Have everything organised with a 'home' so you're not wasting time hunting around for stuff
• Pick out your outfits for the week on a Sunday night. I have an over door hanger thing with 5 hooks so I put each outfit on a hanger and pop them on there. Anything that needs ironing gets done all together while watching TV. Work out clothes get folded into outfit piles on a chair so I can grab them to get dressed while not fully awake. Bottle of squash goes in the fridge the night before so it's ready for morning workout.
• Do not look at your phone! This is the big one for me, a 5 minute scroll can end up being 15 minutes without me really realising.
• Skip exfloitaling every day, weekly should be enough. Buy an in shower moisturiser that you apply to wet skin, the sanctuary do a really nice one. Wear a shower cap to stop your hair getting frizzy.
• Wash your hair in the evenings so it has time to dry naturally before finishing off quickly with hair dryer.
• If you wash your hair every day, try moving to every other day. Apply dry shampoo before bed, and don't rub it in. Leave it overnight, works much better this way.
• Figure out how to do your make up in 5 minutes or less. For work days I use BB cream, eyebrow powder and mascara, it probably takes me less than 3 minutes to put it on.

If it's being thin you are bothered about not eating much can take far less time than cooking and eating large delicious meals