Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this stingy?

69 replies

Aibooo · 06/05/2021 12:09

A and B go on a trip together, A drives and B pays half for petrol. B also buys snacks/ drinks on the drive and doesn’t ask for money back as wants to thank A. A has a minor accident on way back and part of the car is slightly damaged, B offers to pay half in the heat of the moment and A has now asked for half. It isn’t expensive but also it isn’t B’s fault... (The cost of snacks and drinks and supplies B has bought for A probably add up to cost of B’s half of car part). Is anyone BU or not?

OP posts:
lolacola77 · 06/05/2021 12:11

B is a twat for offering to pay half the accident cost. B needs to say no.

DragonMuff · 06/05/2021 12:11

I don’t see why B should have to pay.

I also don’t think the snacks are particularly relevant though.

TwinsAndTrifle · 06/05/2021 12:12

Was A acting as B's taxi? As in A was only making the trip for B and it wouldn't have happened otherwise?

PegPeople · 06/05/2021 12:13

Why on earth would B offer to pay even in the heat of the moment! If B offered to pay then they should not renegade on their offer but in future B needs to learn to not make promises they don't want to keep.

OldEvilOwl · 06/05/2021 12:13

A's fault, A should pay - the rest is irrelevant

Original poster
Aibooo · 06/05/2021 12:14

No A wanted to go to the place they were going (short break together) and suggested that they drive. B was happy to oblige but as it was such a long drive felt bad and insisted they split petrol etc etc

OP posts:
mainsfed · 06/05/2021 12:14

B should never have offered, and needs to rescind the offer pronto.

If A insists, B should ditch the friendship.

Seeline · 06/05/2021 12:14

B offered to pay. It's a bit mean to say no now. If they thought that they had paid the equivalent in snacks, they shouldn't have offered on the first place.

mainsfed · 06/05/2021 12:14

I hope you're B OP! Grin

riotlady · 06/05/2021 12:14

There was no reason for you to pay but you’ve offered now

Original poster
Aibooo · 06/05/2021 12:14

Think B felt bad as A was sad about the accident and concerned at how much it would cost...

OP posts:
mainsfed · 06/05/2021 12:15

@Seeline

B offered to pay. It's a bit mean to say no now. If they thought that they had paid the equivalent in snacks, they shouldn't have offered on the first place.
I would call it belated assertiveness rather than mean.
Boo2997 · 06/05/2021 12:15

B shouldn’t have made the stupid offer. A shouldn’t expect it though. That’s odd tbh. The driver is responsible.

Original poster
Aibooo · 06/05/2021 12:15

Think wing mirror being clipped etc - B has learnt their lesson 😉 and was trying to do the right thing

OP posts:
mainsfed · 06/05/2021 12:16

@Aibooo

Think B felt bad as A was sad about the accident and concerned at how much it would cost...
Not B's problem.

I drove some friends to a venue, they suggested I park on the kerb. I got a ticket. I didn't ask them to pay as I was the driver and should have known better.

Similarly, this A's responsibility. If you're B, please don't be browbeaten into this.

PegPeople · 06/05/2021 12:17

@Aibooo

Think B felt bad as A was sad about the accident and concerned at how much it would cost...
Well it can't be that expensive surely if the snacks came to a similar price as to what B is now being asked for.

If you don't want to pay then you are no obligation to do so but it's quite crap to offer and then change your mind. No doubt A would never of asked for a contribution if you didn't offer in the first place.

ariana1 · 06/05/2021 12:17

A pays for the car - B needs to say they’re but they’ve changed their mind.
I’ve shared all Petrol / food expenses on a trip with a friend who crashed on the way home but didn’t think to offer to pay for the damage to her car!

Thedogscollar · 06/05/2021 12:17

B needs to refer A to their car insurance. As someone said earlier the rest is irrelevant.

sundowners · 06/05/2021 12:19

The driver should pay- if they have an accident (assuming also they are at fault?) then it is fully their responsibility. Their driving, their car. But why did you offer?!!! In situations like this you need to force yourself to stay shtum.

Original poster
Aibooo · 06/05/2021 12:21

Yeah it’s fine B will uphold their promise!! I am neither but B has explained it to me so I was thinking what I would do in this scenario

B is obviously nicer than me as also offered to split potential tickets with A!!

OP posts:
PegPeople · 06/05/2021 12:23

I'm really surprised to see you're not B as your posts are very skewed making it seem like you were.

If I was Bs friend I'd honestly be telling them after paying what they had agreed to stop being so passive and nice.

Londongent · 06/05/2021 12:24

B should never have offered to pay half as it was not their fault. A should also have refused an offer of payment, as it was not B's fault.
However as none of those things happened B has a dilemma. If B does not want to pay then they should say that they apologise, they should not have offered to pay half as it was not their fault and they are rescinding their offer. B should be prepared for A to be annoyed and upset.

Overthebow · 06/05/2021 12:24

A should pay but B has already offered. Doesn’t sound like it’s that expensive of snacks cover the cost of half so if I were B I’d just pay.

partyatthepalace · 06/05/2021 12:27

Of course it’s unreasonable but B offered, so it is not unreasonable (though it is cheeky) for A to say yes.

So I think if you value the friendship you will have to suck up and pay - they did do the driving also, which is dull.

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 06/05/2021 12:30

Although I think this is A's responsibility, I also think that B should stand by her word. I do judge A for taking B up on the offer though.