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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this stingy?

69 replies

Aibooo · 06/05/2021 12:09

A and B go on a trip together, A drives and B pays half for petrol. B also buys snacks/ drinks on the drive and doesn’t ask for money back as wants to thank A. A has a minor accident on way back and part of the car is slightly damaged, B offers to pay half in the heat of the moment and A has now asked for half. It isn’t expensive but also it isn’t B’s fault... (The cost of snacks and drinks and supplies B has bought for A probably add up to cost of B’s half of car part). Is anyone BU or not?

OP posts:

Holly60 · 06/05/2021 13:54

That’s ridiculous. If I am going somewhere and a friend is coming too I wouldn’t even ask for petrol let alone ask them to contribute towards a bump that happened to my car whilst I was driving it. How can they POSSIbly justify you paying towards it?

MadeOfStarStuff · 06/05/2021 14:00

B is for offering to pay and then being annoyed when A took them up on it!

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 06/05/2021 14:00

Chateau, you need to stop offering to pay for them. You know they are taking the piss.

wheretonow123 · 06/05/2021 14:06

B offered and A accepted. It would be churlish for B to rescind now so I would pay if it was me.

A side question, does B have a car of their own? I know some people who avoid have a car for cost reasons but then expect lifts without contributing very much and get away with it.

mrsm43s · 06/05/2021 14:21

B shouldn't have offered, but she did, so the only decent thing for her to do now is pay up.

If B hadn't have offered, I would have said that it was A's responsibility to pay.

Original poster

Aibooo · 06/05/2021 14:21

b doesnt have a car and doesn’t drive

OP posts:

notalwaysalondoner · 06/05/2021 14:22

Hmmm, very difficult - it was all fine until B offered to pay for the damage. Now it's been offered, I don't think it's necessarily right to refuse - even though of course morally B was under no obligation to do so. I'd say if it cost the same as snacks etc. I'd just write it off for the sake of the friendship and say something like 'I offered to pay in the heat of the moment, but now realise that of course the car is not mine to maintain or repair, but happy to chip in as we discussed'.

If the money really is important to you and you genuinely can't afford to do that, then it's difficult but I'd just say (always easier in person/on the phone rather than in a message as people tend to misread tone or react more aggressively via message) 'Look A, I'm very grateful you drove us and sorry that you happened to damage your car on the way. However I realise now that the cost of the joint food I bought adds up to the cost of the damage for the car, so let's just call it quits as the car isn't mine to repair or maintain anyway. Thanks again for driving.'

Bluesheep8 · 06/05/2021 14:29

So you're not A or B?

Franklyfrost · 06/05/2021 14:49

You offered. And will have to apologise when you explained you lied. Don’t mention the snacks ever again, that is super petty.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 06/05/2021 14:51

@Holly60

This. It's sad how many are so desperate to keep a pisstaking person as a 'friend' that they'll let themselves be continually mugged off.

2bazookas · 06/05/2021 15:00

Since B offered, he needs to pay up.

If he hadn't offered Maybe A wouldn't ask!

worriedatthemoment · 06/05/2021 16:45

B offered so should stick with offer made and surely its not a lot of only added up to snacks etc , otherwise you eat a lot of snacks

cherrytreecottage · 06/05/2021 16:47

@lolacola77

B is a twat for offering to pay half the accident cost. B needs to say no.

This!!

Whatwouldnanado · 06/05/2021 16:49

B is too nice for their own good. A should talk to their insurance company.

eatsleepread · 06/05/2021 16:49

B is kind, but definitely shouldn't have to pay.

MintyMabel · 06/05/2021 17:57

I don’t see why B should have to pay.

Because they offered to. Regardless of who is responsible, if you make an offer of payment it’s shit to withdraw it later.

Figgyboa · 06/05/2021 18:25

B shouldn't have offered to pay half but since they did they should follow through with it.

rookiemere · 06/05/2021 18:55

In this situation B should never have offered to pay for half the repairs.

However I am torn about the right thing to do if there is a parking ticket with other people involved. In those circumstances I think the cost should be shared as it should be a collection responsibility about where you park in a group.

Serin · 06/05/2021 19:59

A should apologise to B for his/her crap driving.

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