Lip Fillers

[KateMooney]

Hello,
Wanting to know if I'm being unreasonable or if my partner is being unreasonable.
I've wanted lip injections since 2019. I had a consult for them today and agreed on a conservative approach as I still want to look natural-ish and have my super, small, thin top lip look fuller.
I will be paying for filler myself and having no concerns from the financial side.

My partner (well maybe ex-partner now) of 5 years said to me after my consult:

1. lip fillers are "gross and unnatural"
2. said I look beautiful naturally
3. says that I have "deep-rooted" self-esteem issues since I want filler
4. thinks I will look unnatural and that I should have talked to him before I even had the consult
5. partner then talked with one of his friends who has hair plugs and whose wife has had a breast augmentation. Apparently, both of those procedures are DIFFERENT to filler because "they restore how the person used to look."
6. he said that he has to think about if he can be with me now...

Anyway - am I being unreasonable for getting my lips done? Or is my partner/ex-partner being a total dick?

Hi OP,

He is being a total dick.
I have had lip filler on and off for a few years now, my ex partner was completely against them- and similarly to what you’ve mentioned, told me he couldn’t be with me if I continued. We split up for different reasons, but my current partner is much more supportive with my choices!

Go for it, I’m glad I’ve had filler! It’s your choice not his!

YANBU, and yes, of course he was a total dick. Not a single thing he said was acceptable and most of it doesn’t even make sense.

Now. With that said, you’ve been together five years. I don’t know what your relationship is like otherwise. If it’s normally really good and this kind of behavior (controlling, unkind, fighting ‘dirty’ by threatening to leave or bringing friends into it) is out of blue, then maybe he just had a knee jerk reaction? He heard “lip filler” and is concerned that you will end up looking like a z-list celeb with very unnatural lips (though! If you wanted very large lip fillers, that would be your right too, as it’s your body), and it sounds like you’re against the unnatural look, too. While you had no obligation to take him to your consultation, it’s ironic he could have learned a thing or two, especially since many facial procedures replace natural fat deposits or skin elasticity we‘ve lost with age. Honestly, it might be more “natural” than hair plugs if people really wanted to debate, since often baldness is inherited, whereas the loss of skin elasticity etc. is exacerbated by the environment, stress, and even chemicals that we have no control over.

Anyway. Yes, he owes you an enormous apology, but perhaps this can be talked through before he becomes an ex-partner. Unless acting like this and taking to you like this is part of pattern; in which case, bin the whole damn man.

I have subtle lip filler and it’s life-changing. I had very thin lips indeed. And now they look lovely but not filled. You simply wouldn’t know it wasn’t natural, unless you saw me before. And it lasts ages.

He lost me at ‘tit jobs are fine’ because that’s something he’d presumably enjoy.

Your body, your money, your choice. Tell him to get fucked if he can’t respect that.

Get the filler ditch the lump.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen natural looking lip fillers. They nearly always make the person look as though they’ve had a serious allergic reaction to something.

Then you've only noticed over-done/badly-done lip filler. I haven't had any, but often toy with the idea (asymmetrical lip fullness) but am not brave enough.

Get your lips done and ditch him. He's an arsehole.

@BiscoffAddict

I don’t think I’ve ever seen natural looking lip fillers. They nearly always make the person look as though they’ve had a serious allergic reaction to something.

How do you know that you've never seen natural looking lip fillers? You wouldn't know that they'd been done.

@BiscoffAddict

I don’t think I’ve ever seen natural looking lip fillers. They nearly always make the person look as though they’ve had a serious allergic reaction to something.

How would you know if it was completely natural looking. Some are very extreme but some are not.

Your choice completely. Go for it.

What a prick. He sounds absolutely horrible, get him gone... then get your lips done to celebrate 😂
This obviously isn’t a snap decision for you, it’s something you’ve thought about for a long time, researched well and still really want to do. It’s not up to him!
Being completely honest, my husband would probably have something to say if I said I was going for lip fillers, maybe that I don’t need it, or he likes me as I am etc but it would be left there.
At the end of the day, it’s your body and your choice.

Your body, your choice. You’re not his toy, he doesn’t get to dictate how you should look.

He’s an idiot especially if he’s saying breast augmentation is fine. Is he worried you will feel better about yourself and leave him or something?

Your life, your lips, your choice.
I have a tiny bit of filler in my upper lip every other year because I hardly have a top lip and just want to look ‘normal’. I’ve never discussed it or told anyone, I just go ahead and do it. I think this is the best approach. I go to my local private hospital and the rest of the filler is either used in my cheeks or jowl area or a tiny bit in both. I look less knackered rather than like I’ve had work done.

He’s being a dick. I had 1ml done last August as my lips are super tiny and I love it, definitely doesn’t look like Ive had filler put in. I’m having another ml put in soon.

Go for it 😀

I have different stuff done, fibroblasting etc and a small amount of lip filler. You wouldn't know that I've had filler done. Looking at photos from over ten years ago, my lips just look the same. My top lip was disappearing.
It doesn't matter what he or his friends think. This isn't permanent and you're free to give it a go. Is he scared that your confidence will increase? Some men can't cope with confident women.

@BiscoffAddict, that's a chosen look. Some women want unnatural looking lips, just like unnatural looking hair colours.

Sorry op but whilst some things he's said are ur, I'm with him on the lip fillers being gross opinion.

I know about 20 women who've had them...some friends, a couple of women at work and a handful of school Facebook acquaintances.

I've never seen any that actually improve the look of someone's face. They certainly change the look of the face - into more of a rounded/'fashionable' /celeb type blow up look, to whatever degree. But none that improve it.

A few of these women have delightedly pointed out their new 'natural' lip fillers because obviously they only had a fraction of a ml etc so expected no one would tell...women who tell themselves this are the blindest ime, because even the 'natural' fillers are noticeable and give an unnatural, slightly odd, stretched appearance...which is kind of expected as you're stretching your lips to proportions they were not designed to be - it throws off the look of the whole face. And that's just the ones that go right, not wrong!

Anyway, husband is a dick to threaten you with a split but it's fair for him to be concerned over such a procedure imo.

I've had 0.6ml injected in my lip

No one can tell (apart from me) - my lips just look slightly more even

Go for the lip fillers and ditch the excess baggage. He should be uplifting you. Do you think maybe he's trying to stop you being more confident in your appearance?

I have lip filler in my top lip as my lips were unbalanced and it's really subtle. I was nervous of the "duck lips" look but my doctor reassured me they'd look completely natural - and they do! Best decision I've ever made.

@RaiseTheBeastie

Sorry op but whilst some things he's said are ur, I'm with him on the lip fillers being gross opinion.

I know about 20 women who've had them...some friends, a couple of women at work and a handful of school Facebook acquaintances.

I've never seen any that actually improve the look of someone's face. They certainly change the look of the face - into more of a rounded/'fashionable' /celeb type blow up look, to whatever degree. But none that improve it.

A few of these women have delightedly pointed out their new 'natural' lip fillers because obviously they only had a fraction of a ml etc so expected no one would tell...women who tell themselves this are the blindest ime, because even the 'natural' fillers are noticeable and give an unnatural, slightly odd, stretched appearance...which is kind of expected as you're stretching your lips to proportions they were not designed to be - it throws off the look of the whole face. And that's just the ones that go right, not wrong!

Anyway, husband is a dick to threaten you with a split but it's fair for him to be concerned over such a procedure imo.

I agree with this. The idea that women have to be filled and plumped to meet some generic beauty standard is sad, but I do think that fillers make people look older and often a bit odd. It can take away attractive, quirky features and the balance of the whole face and while they might look OK from one flattering angle, can often look strange from other angles.

Anyone wanting to fill their lips is being unreasonable. I don’t blame him for being concerned. It looks ridiculous. Don’t do it.

Well, it is obviously your choice, but personally I think lip filler looks totally ridiculous! It is ALWAYS obvious, and in my view utterly ruins a pretty face. I would imagine they don't feel very nice for a Partner to kiss either.

Fillers always look a bit strange when the lips are moving, even if they look fine in repose.

Is he scared that you will become more attractive and therefore likely to leave his sorry insecure ass for someone else?

My friend had it done (thin top lip) and it looked great. You'd never know about the fillers, she looked totally natural and was thrilled with the results.