Lip Fillers

[KateMooney]

Hello,
Wanting to know if I'm being unreasonable or if my partner is being unreasonable.
I've wanted lip injections since 2019. I had a consult for them today and agreed on a conservative approach as I still want to look natural-ish and have my super, small, thin top lip look fuller.
I will be paying for filler myself and having no concerns from the financial side.

My partner (well maybe ex-partner now) of 5 years said to me after my consult:

1. lip fillers are "gross and unnatural"
2. said I look beautiful naturally
3. says that I have "deep-rooted" self-esteem issues since I want filler
4. thinks I will look unnatural and that I should have talked to him before I even had the consult
5. partner then talked with one of his friends who has hair plugs and whose wife has had a breast augmentation. Apparently, both of those procedures are DIFFERENT to filler because "they restore how the person used to look."
6. he said that he has to think about if he can be with me now...

Anyway - am I being unreasonable for getting my lips done? Or is my partner/ex-partner being a total dick?

I'm not a fan of lip fillers so I kind of agree with him on points 1 to 3 but he is being a complete dick with points 4 to 6!

So in summary, he is entitled to dislike lip fillers but claiming that a boob job is preferable (when it is a far more invasive and risky procedure!) is bonkers! Also suggesting that you need his permission is crazy!

YANBU to be considering LTB

OP I had filler in my lips and my DP didn’t even notice. If you want a subtle boost then absolutely go for it.
Anyone criticising filler I don’t think you know much about it. Most filler is very subtle and a properly trained person who is credible wouldn’t overfill the lips and give the ‘trout pout’ look or certainly nobody I know who do it would agree to that.

Hi OP, I have lip fillers as I had a none existent top lip previously. The amount of people who have talked about lip fillers and judge people cause they have lip fillers to me because they don't like them is a lot! Its then funny to see there face when I tell them I've had them done. They can not tell there are fillers as my lips just look natural and provide me with more confidence when I smile and I can see a top lip. Do it for yourself if that's what you want and don't listen to anyone else.

I have been getting them done once a year for the past 5 years, my new partner didn't know and when I told him I was due a top up he was shocked and thought my lips was natural, he then proceeded to tell me not to get them done, he doesn't like them. I ignored him and carried on doing my own thing with my own body and although the initial swelling scared him a little, he's totally ok with them and he now tells me he can understand why I may want to enhance them a little bit since I shown him a picture of me smiling before fillers. He has accepted its my own choice and its my confidence that he is attracted to which a little bit of filler does help with.

To many people instantly believe lip filler makes you have a duck pout and instantly like to judge or look down on people with fillers but you do what you think will make you happy OP!

Just make sure you do a lot of research into choosing the correct anaesthetist with high recommendations and a lot of experience!

@RaiseTheBeastie

Fillers always look a bit strange when the lips are moving, even if they look fine in repose

Yes I think this is it. The most 'natural' ones may well look fine whilst staring at your face in a mirror or in a photo.

But you don't have to look at yourself talking, laughing, yawning. They're always noticible and always make the face generally look a bit off, even if it's difficult at first to pick out what it is that's wrong.

How do you know? You may have not noticed on someone who's had fillers but they look natural, your assuming you can tell but there may have been times you have spoken to people who had filler but the anaesthetist did a really good job at making them look natural therefore you never knew.. unless you have lip filler locating super powers that is

He hasn't noticed women with subtle fillers because no one notices a small amount, I had 0.5ml and no one knew unless I told them, I noticed I difference and that all that matters, I felt my smile looked more symmetrical and lipstick went on better.
Although the procedure really hurts unless I have incredibly sensitive lips and only lasts 6 months so it quickly wears off it you don't like it, don't listen to him, it's your body and your decision.

Lip fillers make me feel queasy. YABU to think your top lip doesn’t look perfectly fine as it is. But your body, your decision. Would you mind if he did weird things to his body that you didn’t like?

There's some awful fillers around. I'm always shocked that people think it looks good. Then there's subtle filler like swim who posted. I'd never know she had filler unless she said

Lip fillers don’t always look ridiculous at all.

Women don’t have to conform to any beauty standard but there is nothing wrong with wanting to change something about yourself that you do not like.

It’s OK for someone who has totally adequate lips or a straight nose or good bone structure naturally to say “don’t do it” because they personally are not affected, it’s easy to judge when you simply have zero experience of being in that position.

Ensure that you do your research- you need a medical / doctor aesthetician. They need to use a cannula and they should be using premium products, potentially over two or more sittings if you have very small lips to start.

Please do not go to a beautician for these procedures; they are not qualified to treat you if anything goes wrong.

All of that aside - your partners reaction is unfair. He is entitled to think what he likes about cosmetic procedures- he is entitled to an opinion but he is not entitled to belittle you or condemn you as “less” because you wish to make changes to YOUR body.

You certainly don’t have to ask his permission to get a consultation either.

If this is a gross overreaction because he is shocked and it’s a one off and usual display then I’d let it go but if it’s representational of his general behaviour towards you and his feelings towards women in general (as in they aren’t able to make their own informed decisions based on their needs, not the wants of men) then I’d be seriously considering ending the relationship.

Yes we need to find our partners attractive but you’re talking about a small tweak not tattooing your eyeballs.

Good luck! Get the lips and enjoy them!

They are gross and most of them do look very obvious. It's your choice to make. He didn't say anything wrong but perhaps should have softened the way he said it.

Your partner's being a dick. Your face, your choice. I'd get them done then take a long hard look at him and decide if you want to be with him

If no one notices why have it done?
I have always had naturally big full lips, I hated them when I was younger but now I’m in my 50s I’ve grown into them.
I think fillers post menopausal can be quite natural looking, my job involves working in people’s mouths so I get to see a lot up close, but they are usually poorly done and the wrong area of the lip is filled.
A lot of health professionals have stopped doing fillers because of the massive increase in professional liability indemnity payments which suggests that more people are suing them for poor results. Also repeated filling seems to result in lumpy lips long term.
Professional indemnity costs over 2.5k I wonder how many beauticians are paying this sort of level of indemnity (if any).
Before having them done check that the person who does them is fully indemnified. They should have a certificate to say they are fully covered if anything goes wrong.

Definitely YANBU!

Can I possibly ask how much these are please? I have super super thin lips and am desperate to wear lipstick for the first time ever!