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Aggressive behaviour... AIBU by wanting to get these people kicked out??

71 replies

Loopeyloou · 05/05/2021 21:58



Recently had new neighbours, who have been nothing less than a nightmare since day 1! Absolutely ruined the gardens with rubbish that was so bad there were rats, the fences are now destroyed so my own children can't play in the garden as they have a very aggressive dog (fences being fixed next month). Been called a slag, threatened with a knife, been told to watch myself and my home, said dog is now being taken out the front daily and wound up until it's trying to attack, just generally intimidating/bullying me. I have stood up for myself but have just been met with more threats and violence. It's just made the problem worse!! Now they keep bringing a van full of men and circling my car?! It looks they are drug dealing to be honest. I'm a single mom with no family. It's literally making me so depressed, actually suicidal most nights as I'm too scared to sleep... I genuinely don't know how many more nights I can make it through without doing something ridiculously stupid!! How can I deal with this without putting myself or my children in any more danger, I don't want to report them and anger them even more! I'm so fed up, I feel stuck! This is supposed to be our forever home and I can't stand the thought of having to move because of these disgusting people. Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated right now!

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

119 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
Twistered · 05/05/2021 22:01

Oh god that sounds like an absolute nightmare . You probably need to move if possible

Twistered · 05/05/2021 22:02

Shit just reread and see you're feeling suicidal!
Do you want to tell us a bit more?

MaxNormal · 05/05/2021 22:05

Is there any way you can move?

lavieengrenache · 05/05/2021 22:06

Do you own or rent? Do they? Can you install some sort of cctv? If they are harassing you, get the police involved. Sorry OP - scum like this ruin so many people's lives and seem to be untouchable.

Giraffey1 · 05/05/2021 22:07

Have you reported to the council antisocial behaviour unit, or to the police?

Loopeyloou · 05/05/2021 22:12

We're both renting (housing association) I'm honestly so scared of reporting them and them finding out that it's me... For some reason the man (who threatened me with a knife) Has had an issue with me from day 1?? I have no idea why... I've put so much work into our home it's a stunning house. I just can't stand the thought of leaving it all behind 😭😭

OP posts:
Dddccc · 05/05/2021 22:18

Oh shit, step 1 if you can write everything down, I really believe you should report them I would also as if you can move house as you fear for your life and safety of your children sending hugs

Loopeyloou · 05/05/2021 22:19

I've installed a ring doorbell and a ring camera which is making no deference at all... They have told me they will bring all the "gypsies" down to "deal" with me. Been so happy here for almost 10 years and within 3 months my life is a living hell, we share a path to our houses so we are literally face to face most days... Even if I considered moving I genuinely couldn't afford it right now.

OP posts:
Loopeyloou · 05/05/2021 22:21


OP posts:
lavieengrenache · 05/05/2021 22:22

Move, for your own piece of mind. You'll feel like a huge weight has been lifted and you can make your new home beautiful. And tell the HA - it really is up to them to sort this appalling situation - perhaps after you've moved.

lavieengrenache · 05/05/2021 22:23

In that case, police and HA. Keep records of every single incident.

BrilliantBetty · 05/05/2021 22:29

You either move or go full on with reporting because you'll have to make a bloody strong case so they take it seriously (it will take a lot).

Report anti social behaviour to the police, get reference numbers, keep time / dates of ALL incidents and follow it up by alerting the housing association to everything and your local authority as you are 'threatened with homelessness' due to your living conditions effecting mental health. Back this up by speaking to GP about your suicidal thoughts. Council will have a duty to prevent homelessness and will likely get in touch with the landlord (housing association) on your behalf.

MiniTheMinx · 05/05/2021 22:35

I can imagine that trying to move via an exchange would be difficult if people caught on to what your neighbours are like.

So, I think you need to log every incident, record everything. If you leave to go out on the path have your phone on audio record. Contact H/A and make complaints but stress the seriousness of their threats to you and that you are scared. If you have a letter box, get a plate on the inside and get a mail box on the wall. Make your home as secure as possible.

Contact police when they threaten you, or if they damage your property, any suspicious behaviour around your home or car, and all anti-social behaviour. Give reference number to H/A

Contact your GP and get this noted and ask GP for a letter to H/A and ask for some help with the depression/stress.

Unfortunately people like this target others if they think they can get away with it and the target is different to them, better than them, having an easier life, or simply just happen to be there. And it doesn't matter whether you show fear or you stand your ground, people like this do what they do because they have been raised to behave like dogs.

MiniTheMinx · 05/05/2021 22:37

ah, x-posted with BrilliantBetty. Yep.

picturesandpickles · 05/05/2021 22:40

Feel so sad for you Flowers.

Could you speak to the Police in confidence and explain what is happening but that you are afraid of escalation. You do need to get something on record.

Can you speak to the HA about getting a transfer, is that even possible?

Loopeyloou · 05/05/2021 22:41

I'm calling the doctor tomorrow about my mental health, I've got to... As soon as the kids are in bed I'm sat crying, every noise/motion on the cameras is scaring the life out of me. I don't want the children sitting on the sofa nearest the windows after it's dark... I'm waiting to wake up to my car smashed up/someone kicking my door off... I'm not sleeping until I pass out about 4am! I'm just a bloody mess right now... To be honest I'm sure he's going to stab me at some point. His wife said to me "that's his problem, he has no issue slicing someone" I just feel so trapped in my own home!

OP posts:
Embracelife · 05/05/2021 22:42

You hVe to report

motherloaded · 05/05/2021 22:45

This is supposed to be our forever home

you are renting! It can't be a forever home.
And it's a good thing. You are not stuck desperately trying to sell to escape, you CAN move. You shouldn't have to, but frankly life is too short.

Or you should report everything, absolutely everything. Again, you are in a much better position against a tenant in a council property. If it was a private home owner, you would have very little action. In your case, if you report, they can be consequences.

HollowTalk · 05/05/2021 22:46

Are they renting from the HA as well?

NamechangeApril21 · 05/05/2021 22:46

Report to the HA. Do it anonymously and stress that you do not want it in anyway, coming back to you.

I had to report at a previous home, and the HA were very understanding and discreet, and investigated my report without even mentioning a report had been made.

I hope you get this sorted OP, it must be terrifying

Loopeyloou · 05/05/2021 22:47

I'm going to have to bite the bullet and go to a police station to speak to someone.... I'm going to log everything.... I've never known people like it.... Even when I'm gardening, planting my plants I'm getting grief. There are quite a few neighbours who have witnessed all this too, so maybe I could ask them if they are willing to take notes of days/times when they witness it.

OP posts:
maddening · 05/05/2021 22:48

Which county are you in?

maddening · 05/05/2021 22:48

Do you own or rent?

ScienceSensibility · 05/05/2021 22:50

God, OP, you poor thing. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

This is horrid right now, but you will get through it and live happily with your children once again. Keep trying to visualise that, you are needed and valued in this world.

On a practical front, the Housing Association has staff who are PAID to manage the property and tenancy issues. They can’t help if they don’t know about it. Tell them and tell the police. You have to gain some allies around you.
The HA may be able to rehouse you. Build up your evidence and see your GP.
You may be able to get something to help you sleep, this will make you stronger. You need energy for this battle.

Sending all powerful wishes to you. Keep using this thread, other posters will be full of good ideas and you need the support.

Loopeyloou · 05/05/2021 22:51

It is supposed to be our forever home, I was hoping to buy in the future. I know I'm going to have to report and log everything... I'm just so angry with the whole situation.

OP posts:
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