Aggressive behaviour... AIBU by wanting to get these people kicked out??

[Loopeyloou]

TW


SUICIDAL



Recently had new neighbours, who have been nothing less than a nightmare since day 1! Absolutely ruined the gardens with rubbish that was so bad there were rats, the fences are now destroyed so my own children can't play in the garden as they have a very aggressive dog (fences being fixed next month). Been called a slag, threatened with a knife, been told to watch myself and my home, said dog is now being taken out the front daily and wound up until it's trying to attack, just generally intimidating/bullying me. I have stood up for myself but have just been met with more threats and violence. It's just made the problem worse!! Now they keep bringing a van full of men and circling my car?! It looks they are drug dealing to be honest. I'm a single mom with no family. It's literally making me so depressed, actually suicidal most nights as I'm too scared to sleep... I genuinely don't know how many more nights I can make it through without doing something ridiculously stupid!! How can I deal with this without putting myself or my children in any more danger, I don't want to report them and anger them even more! I'm so fed up, I feel stuck! This is supposed to be our forever home and I can't stand the thought of having to move because of these disgusting people. Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated right now!

[MiniTheMinx]

Seeing the crisis team, and the SS referral will hopefully illustrate to HA just how much harm these neighbours are causing to you. Hopefully crisis team and SS will be able to write to HA if you ask them.

You are doing amazing. You'll get there.

I echo what others have already said in terms of pushing for a move with HA. Far better these neighbours do not know where you live.

I've been through something similar recently. In my case it was constant all day and night harassment from my father! demented and very angry he kept banging and kicking the door, staring through my windows, falling in the street, hitting us and shouting. I moved to force SS to take him into care. I miss my home. It was my forever home next door to the house I grew up in. But now, I can at least relax without jumping out of my skin, I can sleep, and come and go from my home as I please. Ddad is safe too.

Its a wrench leaving the place you wanted to stay, but it gets easier and sometimes its the only way. You'll make another house a lovely home too.

[MiniMonkey72]

I can't offer any more help than what has already been posted. I just want to say I am so proud of you for taking the step to get help for your mental health. I hope things get much better for you and that you neighbors go off back to whatever hole they came from

[Loopeyloou]

Just another thank you for all your kind words and support ❤️ actually got through to the doctor today who sent me to AnE for my mental health and have been seen by the crisis team, they have made a 'early help' referral to SS for me too. So I definitely feel like I've achieved something today! Very drained now but I've done it!! Tomorrow is a new day and I will deal with HA and police, I'm determined! 🤞❤️

[zobalina77]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I had a similar situation, though it was us that moved in next to the awful neighbours. We lasted 2 months before moving. Please stress to the housing association that you need the report to be confidential. I didn't when I reported it and had an officer from the council come round who stated loudly he was here about the complaint I made about number ...

Moving was the best thing we did, though it meant losing our secure tenancy. I hope it gets better for you soon.

[Wineisrequired]

I’m so sorry you are going through this . I also rent and had to move from my last house due to horrid neighbours. I hope you manage to get this sorted

[memberofthewedding]

I had problems with noisy neighbors when I was living in a HA and I found them worse than useless! I had a noise dairy, statements from neighbors and lots of evidence but the HA were very reluctant to evict them. It turns out that its very difficult to evict someone from a HA and can take years. In the end I had to move which means I lost a secure tenency.

[Lollypop4]

Tomorrow is a new day, today you called the Dr, thats good, not the outcome hoped for , maybe give that a go again tomorrow.

And take another step if you can; The police. They will help you.

HA and SS can be the next day or monday .

Ive everything crossed for you.x

[Cagedbirdsinging]

I have no advice , just wanted to send love and support .

[Cherrysoup]

I remember hiding in the hallway with the nice neighbours, trying not to make any noise when the incredibly aggressive druggy neighbour was rampaging around. Nice neighbours moved, despite being there for over 20 years. We followed. It’s ridiculously unfair, but dear Lord, you can’t stay there.

[Loopeyloou]

Thank you all for your kind words ❤️ you've all honesty kept me going the last 24hrs! I honestly have no clue why I'm being targeted, a few friends/neighbours think it's because I'm a single mom with no family (they obviously have seen I don't get visitor's very often) I've got a decent car, one of the best gardens/houses in the street. (they could also achieve this with some time and effort) We just genuinely have (had) a decent normal life here. I've worked so hard to achieve this! They on the other hand do not work have 5 kids, they have literally destroyed that house/gardens, don't drive. The two dogs they have got are ridiculously aggressive they have literally chased old people down the street trying to attack them. They think it's jealously, I've only ever been nice to them as I would with anyone else! This did not help me though, they have obviously taken that as weakness though and not normal decent human behaviour!

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

I wonder why you’re being targeted is it because you’re a women on your own with kids.!!!!! Cunting twatting shit house bullies always go for what they believe to be the easiest target.
Have you been to your GP about your Suicidal thoughts. Could they possibly write up evidence for the Housing officer if need be. I’d usually say Why should you move you’ve done nothing wrong. However at least if you go they won’t have a clue where you are. Harassment like that should carry a huge custodial sentence.

[Msmcc1212]

Aw. There is no wonder. You are under an enormous amount of stress. All you can do is keep taking the next steps and do what you can to protect yourselves.

If you speak to the police now would you feel safer? If you make it really clear that you would feel in more danger if they take it head on - they could just swing by your road more regularly and be more of a presence?

It is good to trust your gut instincts but also just bear in mind that a lack of sleep and stress might skew things and make you less clear. It’s easy for our threat system to get set to ‘high alert’ and see and feel danger everywhere, especially when in situations that are stressful. I’m not saying you should ignore those signals though and I think, in your position, I’d probably speak to the police tonight.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. Keep looking after yourself and DC as well as you can and taking each step you need to. Keep breathing. You’ve taken steps. Keep taking them one after the other. You’ve got this!

Sending you

[Gnr24]

Your doing incredibly well op, try to speak to your neighbours first and get there support . If you and neighbours could collectively report to HA they will act on it. If they only moved in 3 months ago they are on a years probation with HA and it's a lot easier to evict them after a year you become a secure tenant, so best to act now . Keep trying with the Dr's also ,you can do this op stay strong for you and your kids.

[Loopeyloou]

@Msmcc1212

Firstly, you haven’t failed. You took action. It may not have had the outcome we would hope for but you did it - so well done.

Can you report them now? Would they know it’s you? Could you report anonymously?

Think about calling Social Services and letting them know how much you are struggling. They can help you to navigate all the different agencies and help you to think about how to get what you all need.

Thank you ❤️ I've looked on the website but there is no option to report anonymously.... I've just got a very very bad feeling like something terrible is coming. Even my other neighbour has had issues with them and she even thinks they are planning something. So I know it's not just my mind playing tricks on me. As ridiculous as this may sound I've done a little research into it and apparently our bodies/minds know/feel when something bad is going to happen... Which in turn has not helped me 😭🤦🏼‍♀️ I'm going to speak to SS tomorrow and see where I stand. I'm really going to try to not let this take over me tomorrow. It's so hard I've literally changed so much my whole personality is not the same anymore! I'm usually so strong!! I'm just tired, deflated and an absolute shell of my old bubbly self!

[Msmcc1212]

Firstly, you haven’t failed. You took action. It may not have had the outcome we would hope for but you did it - so well done.

Can you report them now? Would they know it’s you? Could you report anonymously?

Think about calling Social Services and letting them know how much you are struggling. They can help you to navigate all the different agencies and help you to think about how to get what you all need.

[Loopeyloou]

Thank you for all of your support and advice... Unfortunately I've failed today, my mental health has plummeted. I have every intention to deal with this all tomorrow (police/HA/doctors/social services) I couldn't even get through to the receptionist at the doctors this morning and when I did there were no appointments and was told to cal 101 if it was that bad, I did and they gave me an emergency number to call. They then have said they can't see me without a referral and even then there's a 6 month waiting list! So that spiraled me today, the neighbours have had about 30 people there today. Winding the dog up again/ smoking weed it's still going on now... I honestly just want to give up!!!

[RevolvingPivot]

I think you should just move. No matter how nice your house is it's not worth it.

If you report to HA or the police they will find out. Even if they get told to move they still know where you live.

I'd speak to the HA and at least ask to be put onto a list to move.

I bet they are trying to get you to move so they can move someone they know in.

Either way surely moving is better than this?

[IamtheDevilsAvocado]

PS enough credible complaints about these appalling people will get council moving towards giving these people a kind of last warning notice... Hopefully eviction.


As another possibility, as you have small kids, may be worth running this past social services? (children & families team) ... As these threatening people are putting your kids in danger? Then hopefully you'd have them on your side too?

[CirqueDeMorgue]

you are renting! It can't be a forever home.

What planet are some MNers from, seriously? Not everyone can buy a house and not everyone can just fucking move fgs.

[IamtheDevilsAvocado]

Really hope you get somewhere OP. Not surprised you're feeling knackered and depressed, I think anyone would in thsi horrid situation.

Really hope you get some traction with the council and police.

I'm wondering too whether you can gently sound out the neighbours - I wonder if they neighbours have had similar threats?
At the very least, any neighbours who are happy to make (off the rrcord?) reports to the council will help I think.

These people are truly awful

[tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz]

Sorry OP just read your update.

Well done love, I think making the decision to take action is a galvanising one in these situations.

Onwards and upwards and may these cunts people get their comeuppance, in this life or the next

[tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz]

DevilsAvacado that's an excellent letter.

[tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz]

Hi OP. I'm so sorry for what's happening, it sounds really awful. What kind of person threatens a mum living on her own with her kids with a knife? Jesus Christ no wonder you're frightened.

Agree that you really have no choice but to report this as it's not going to just magically stop.

Whilst they may be reluctant at first to make a statement try and discretely speak to other neighbours ... if nothing else to act as another set of eyes to watch out for you. We had similar (but no where near as bad) a few years ago and the built like a tank chap over the road (I reckon he was in his 50s but something about his demeanour and how he spoke makes me think he may have had a shady past, semi gangster I reckon ) said to me that if ever I felt threatened or unsafe especially if DH wasn't there and I had DD with me I should come to their house immediately. 24/7. That little gesture made me feel less alone.

Also, there is no way no one else has had issues with these people and you never know - there may be instances that others have reported in the past with starting to build.

Please speak to the JA and Police, there must be methods they can suggest which will keep you anonymous.

I hope it gets better soon love

[Heatherjayne1972]

Could you have a quiet word with the nice neighbours. Get everyone else to complain to the H/A. also I wonder if your nasty neighbours are being nasty towards everyone ( although you seem to be getting the brunt)

I think a detailed diary times dates places witnesses is a good idea.
The noise app that pp mentioned might help with evidence
Every single time something happens call the police - it’s all recorded by them so they can build up a picture / evidence against next door
Plus I’d bet these people are well known by the authorities and the H/A
Don’t let anyone fob you off. Remember you have the right to live in your own home peacefully

I’m so sorry this is happening to you

[Looubylou]

Well done for finding the courage to take action. They are very unlikely to have access to a van load of "gypsies". Most male travellers I have had contact with ( through work) are out working/making a living everyday, not sitting around waiting to be recruited to intimidate local single mothers. They are using ridiculous threats to intimidate you into not reporting them, because they have probably been reported and moved many times. If the police, H/A, don't resolve the situation for you, you sound like someone who could make an equally lovely home somewhere else. This might be at financial and emotional cost but you and your children would be happier in the long term. You can and will make things better for your family, you've already made a positive start 💐