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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DS 21 looks younger than his age

68 replies

jumpingjack5555 · 05/05/2021 21:24

Hi my ds is 21 and he says he has a babyface and looks young for his age, he's confided me in me and said he was speaking to this person on online dating and they said based on his photos he looked 15. I was just wondering are any of your grown up children in the same potion and look young for their age. He's mentioned how he is now a grown up and still looks like a teenage boy.

Thanks

OP posts:

Original poster

jumpingjack5555 · 05/05/2021 21:26

Position not potion sorry!

OP posts:

simbobs · 05/05/2021 21:29

Please tell him not to worry. This was me at the same age. I used to try and pay full fare on the bus and the driver would laugh at me. It is no problem at all later in life. Much better to meet people in person as any photo doesn't show who you really are.

ketchupandmayo · 05/05/2021 21:30

Aged 31, 3 kids. Constantly told I look 20. Might take up smoking to age myself. It's been the bane of my life. At least your son can attempt to grow facial hair in a bid to look older than his years

Original poster

jumpingjack5555 · 05/05/2021 21:36

Thankyou for your kind responses, I've told him how you won't be the only person who looks young for their age and they'll be plenty of people who feel the same as you and not to worry about it.

OP posts:

MiaMarshmallows · 05/05/2021 21:38

Niece, mid thirties, gets told she looks 17/18 constantly. People say it must be brilliant but it really upsets her. She will sympathise with your son.

Strugglingalone · 05/05/2021 21:41

I’m turning 30 this year, was id’d for an energy drink (age 16) this week!! I also struggle to buy dvds and alcohol. It drives me crazy, everyone else tells me it’s a blessing but constantly being quizzed and doubted is just irritating!

Milliways · 05/05/2021 22:19

My DS grew a beard as no one believed he was old enough to be a graduate.

minniemomo · 05/05/2021 22:23

My dd, uses it to her advantage and buys child's fares etc but seems to remember her Id for the pub!

RampantIvy · 05/05/2021 22:26

DD is nearly 21 and looks 15. She never wears make up and wears baggy clothes.

LemonRoses · 05/05/2021 22:27

My youngest is 22 and still gets offered children’s tickets on public transport. Not that long since she was offered colouring in restaurants by waiting staff who were probably younger than her.

It hasn’t proved too limiting.

MustBeTheWine · 05/05/2021 22:36

I was the same at his age. Had 2 DC by the time I was 22. People kept mistaking me for their babysitter. The looks I'd get when I explained I was actually their mother 😂 had to then state my age as I knew they thought I was around 16. I occasionally still get ID'd for alcohol and I'm now 31 years old. Won't lie, I take it as a fantastic compliment when it does happen!

chasingmytail4 · 05/05/2021 22:49

I looked very young until I was about 40, so my instinct is to tell him to enjoy it while it lasts, but I do remember how I longed to look older. My eldest DS is now 27 and could easily pass for 17. The last time my DD and I went to the cinema she was 23 and I was given a child ticket for her!

Missmonkeypenny · 05/05/2021 23:14

I'm 27 and look about 19/20. I get ID'd all the time, used to get some funny looks in the playground and wonder if I'll wake up having aged horribly overnight sometimes but all the women in my family look younger than they are.
Please tell him not to worry

WellTidy · 05/05/2021 23:34

I always looked really young. Was ID’d at the age of very nearly 18 buying tickets to see Jurassic Park at the cinema (12 certificate).

I am now in my mid 40s and definitely look it!!

As soon as I could prove how old I was (to buy booze, get into clubs etc) I never minded anyone thinking I was younger.

I suppose edgier clothes and haircut might make him look older?

Icancelledthecheque · 05/05/2021 23:45

My kids are polar opposites - the 14yo looks 10 and the 17yo looks 27!

But I agree it’s the younger one that has insecurities about it.

He’ll probably appreciate it when he’s older (30s plus) but it’s hard when you look younger, or are shorter, or don’t hit puberty as quickly compared to peers.

Rummikub · 05/05/2021 23:46

I used to struggle to pay full bus fare until my mid 20s. So I just used to get half fare to save the hassle. I was so happy when a bus driver queried my half fare. ( he let me on for for free😂)

I would get ID’d regularly. I remember being very frustrated by it.

It changes eventually though.

Icancelledthecheque · 05/05/2021 23:48

I should add that it’s genuinely that bad that when my 2 DS were outside a coffee shop together last week, a lovely old lady complimented DS17 on his well behaved son, probably thinking he was a young single dad, not his 3 years older brother

MummBraTheEverLeaking · 05/05/2021 23:50

I looked very young for ages, annoyed me no end when I went with a mate to see some rubbish 15 film (I didn't look it, but I was 15 so could prove it thanks to my trusty passport) and saw the popular older looking girls in my year swanning out of Interview With The Vampire, that I wanted to see, an 18, when I was older than them and would never have got away with it in a million years.

Still had the odd age check in my early 30s.

Now I'm 41 and don't even get a second glance when they hit the "the customer is clearly over 25" button at the self checkout

It catches up to us all eventually!

NewjobOldme · 05/05/2021 23:55

It's very frustrating when you are younger. I was a babyfaced teen and twenty something. I got ID'd everywhere. I was mistaken for a secondary school student after I had graduated from university.
Just when I got to the age of appreciating looking younger (early 30s) I had two children. Almost over(sleepless)night the problem disappeared

AmberIsACertainty · 05/05/2021 23:55

@ketchupandmayo

Aged 31, 3 kids. Constantly told I look 20. Might take up smoking to age myself. It's been the bane of my life. At least your son can attempt to grow facial hair in a bid to look older than his years

Don't forget your ID when you go to buy the fags 😂

Baby-face here too OP. Tell him not to worry, once people start talking to him they'll realise he's older than he looks.

abbiemoore · 06/05/2021 00:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

takingmytimeonmyride · 06/05/2021 00:01

My oldest is 22 and has a very baby face when he's clean shaven. So he has a beard now. Not a long one, but enough to make him look his age. Otherwise he looks about 12! Obviously as his mum I think he looks very cute but I don't think he appreciates it.

Xmasbaby11 · 06/05/2021 00:04

Yes I had a baby face throughout my 20s and it never bothered me - only when I taught at a college and had to dress up a bit so I didn't look like a student. I took it as a compliment when I was taken to be much younger than I was.

now I'm 45 with 2 young kids and I think I've aged well but I'm sure I look more or less my age!

Icequeen01 · 06/05/2021 00:04

My DS is 21 and looks no where near his age. He has a part time job in a well known supermarket and last weekend DH asked him to buy a bottle of red wine for dinner. DS was mortified when he got ID'd by one of his own colleagues for being under 18!

VienneseWhirligig · 06/05/2021 00:07

My DS is 21, he has grown a beard to escape the baby face. He does look like a teen without the facial hair but then I have always looked younger than I am. He doesn't look like me though so maybe it's a genetic youthfulness rather than the looks themselves iyswim.

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