Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS 21 looks younger than his age

68 replies

jumpingjack5555 · 05/05/2021 21:24

Hi my ds is 21 and he says he has a babyface and looks young for his age, he's confided me in me and said he was speaking to this person on online dating and they said based on his photos he looked 15. I was just wondering are any of your grown up children in the same potion and look young for their age. He's mentioned how he is now a grown up and still looks like a teenage boy.

Thanks

OP posts:
BackforGood · 06/05/2021 00:08

My married, 27 yr old niece got asked to prove her age for a 15 film a year or two back Grin

She is very proud - her dh less so, as he feels a bit insulted they thought he was trying to smuggle a 14 yr old into a film at his age Grin

There are LOADS of people that look younger than they are. I'll include my 22 yr old in that. They'll love it once they get into their late 30s / 40s / 50s. Always have been, always will be. Swings and roundabouts.

TartanDMs · 06/05/2021 00:12

My mum told me that when she was a 20 year old newlywed, she went on holiday with my dad and his younger brother who was 14. They went into a pub in Wales and the landlord served my uncle a pint but refused to serve my mum because she didn't look old enough! My dad told him that she was his wife, and he apparently laughed and said she was obviously the (younger) girlfriend of my uncle Grin

wingsnthat · 06/05/2021 00:13

I do not believe people in their 30s+ are being mistaken for a 20 year old, or teenager. If you are, it’s because the people you’re speaking to are just out of touch as actual 20 year olds will not recognise you as a peer.

wingsnthat · 06/05/2021 00:17

If people his own age think he’s 15, why? Is it how he dresses? Is he short or slim? Or if it’s just online dating that’s the issue, it could be that the people he’s attracted to aren’t attracted to him and he’s going for people out of his league so to speak. That’s not to be nasty, everyone has their own preferences after all. I’m short and know some people will instantly write me off when dating and that’s okay and there’s plenty of people that do find me attractive

NewjobOldme · 06/05/2021 00:42

@wingsnthat

I do not believe people in their 30s+ are being mistaken for a 20 year old, or teenager. If you are, it’s because the people you’re speaking to are just out of touch as actual 20 year olds will not recognise you as a peer.
I think I looked so much younger because I am short with a round face without much definition. In my 20s and early 30s I dressed in what is probably quite a studenty way and didn't wear makeup or have a definite hair style. Also I think people sometimes think that it's boastful to say people mistake you for younger but definitely in my case it wasn't because I knew I looked childish rather than like a 20 year old model.
MrsTulipTattsyrup · 06/05/2021 04:44

I was IDed for a 15 film at 32! I am quite short with wayward hair, so maybe I looked studenty.

However, now at 50 literally nobody believes I’m this age so I don’t complain. With the cult of youth alive and well in society I’m sure your son will enjoy the benefits of his youthful looks as he gets older. In the meantime, just keep his ID handy. And maybe try to meet prospective partners through friends, work, etc, the old fashioned way - it’s much better than having people make judgements based on a photo online.

MyDogIsDrivingMeMad · 06/05/2021 04:57

My husband looked very young as a young adult. His face matured a lot in his 20s, and the silver lining is that he still looks young for his age, in a good way, now that he's in his late 40s.

Lovelydovey · 06/05/2021 05:04

Definitely not the only one! My 32 year old brother is often thought of as being a teenager by those who don’t know him. He’s given up being offended and now just laughs.

2ndtimemum2 · 06/05/2021 05:05

I'm 34 but could easily pass for 20! At times it's been the bane of life...Still would have to carry id I I'm going to buy alcohol in a supermarket but never get asked for id on nights out.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 06/05/2021 05:57

Always happened with me, I've always looked young. In my early 20s I had a very boyish body, no hips and very small boobs so everyone always thought I was younger. I was waiting for a bus to work one day and got chatting to an elderly lady who asked me if I was on my way to school!

Although I'm fatter now I still look younger and I got asked for ID a couple of weeks ago, I'm 30 now.

TemporaryAnon · 06/05/2021 06:43

I can relate, OP. I have quite a childish facial structure and I really hated the fact that I still looked like a kid once I was married with kids of my own. It was something that genuinely upset and embarrassed me for decades.

I hope your son doesn't let it get to him so much and for so long.

Once I hit 40 and my skin started looking much more wrinkly mature, I pretty much stopped being asked for ID. I still have a younger overall face shape but it definitely doesn't hold up to close inspection any more! Grin

However, a couple of years ago I attended a sporting event with my (then) 17 year old son. I was refused service at the bar that night because I didn't think to bring photo ID with me (and the server needed her eyes tested.) I've attached a selfie of the two of us that I took that night. It's incredibly outing, so I've name changed just for this post. At 47 I was finally shocked/flattered to be ID'ed, rather than just embarrassed!

DS 21 looks younger than his age
diamondpony80 · 06/05/2021 07:04

The Karate Kid actor Ralph Macchio looked like he was about 15 in those movies but was actually about 25. He looked like a teenager even in his wedding pics. Now in his fifties he could pass for much, much younger. Might not feel like at it 21 but could be a blessing when he gets older!

DearTeddyRobinson · 06/05/2021 07:11

I'm 46 and got asked for ID buying wine at Sainsbury's last month. Made my year week! Appreciate it can be annoying especially when you're trying to be taken seriously at work etc. He could grow some stubble, dress formally etc but in the long run he's going to be delighted to look younger. Easy for me to say though being an old fart!

LittleMissA · 06/05/2021 08:07

My DH looks young, we've been together since teenagers (mid thirties now). He's quite short and slim and if he's wearing shorts and a bright t-shirt people glance quickly and think he's a teen still! People have mistakenly thought he was my child when standing with DD. I must look my age or older!!
He's always just laughed it off and made sure he always had ID on him. When we used to still go out he'd ask bouncers etc how old they thought he was if they asked for ID and had a chat so they'd usually remember him next time!

ViaRia · 06/05/2021 08:09

I (really, honestly) don’t mean to sound so negative but your post reminded me of my husband’s experience growing up in his teens/ early twenties, so I wanted to share that with you.
It might be worth considering whether an underlying medical condition could be causing a lack of development for you son. In my husband’s case, his underdevelopment was just thought to be ‘youthful looks’ until he was eventually diagnosed in his early twenties.
It turned out he had a medical condition which prevented normal puberty but he was too embarrassed to talk to him parents about it.
Of course, having a ‘baby face’ is not necessarily a problem and as many have said, it may feel like a blessing in a few years time. I suppose just consider whether there are any other signs of underdevelopment along with the youthful face, eg small frame, less muscular, less/ no body hair, voice.

IamMaz · 06/05/2021 08:19

Our son's girlfriend is 25 and a nurse on A&E. She sometimes catches a bus to see our son, who lives about 15 miles from her. She is usually charged a child's fare!!! She tries to pay as an adult but the drivers assume she is a child...

Findingapath · 06/05/2021 08:21

At 27 married and living in our own home with our 2 year old DD, a bloke knocked on my door, he was selling something or other, and asked if my parents were in! I sternly informed him I was the parent! I’m 33 now with 3rd baby on their way and still look like I did at 18 but have gained a few lines. My rounded baby face hasn’t changed much but then my Grandma who is 80+ still doesn’t look her age either.

Original poster
jumpingjack5555 · 06/05/2021 09:06

Thankyou to everyone for their kind replies, I really appreciate it. My ds is around 5’8 in height which I think is around the average for males. I think my ds is a bit upset as he doesn’t have a deep voice so sometimes when he has answered the phone people think I’ve answered the phone instead of him. He also doesn’t have hairy legs which loads of people don’t as well but I think all these things add up and make him not feel like an adult. He’s joked before saying if he put on a school uniform he would literally look like a secondary school pupil.

OP posts:
madamehooch · 06/05/2021 09:32

DD 21. Looks younger than some of the secondary school pupils she works with!

IconUcon · 06/05/2021 09:37

I had to prove being over 18 well into my late 20s! A bit annoying but I still look quite a bit younger than I am now, and that's okay now!

ShowOfHands · 06/05/2021 09:41

My sister in law is 32. Last year she was going on holiday with her partner of 9 years and the airport stopped them, noted the different names in their passports and asked BIL if he had permission to take her out the country. She pointed out her DOB and they still asked a lot of questions, clearly thinking she was a child. She is 5ft 2" and a size 4/6 so very slight!

Kittytheteapot · 06/05/2021 09:41

My dd is 21 and could easily pass for 15. I think she realises it will be good in later life as she comes from a family of people who all look younger than their advanced years.

The only tip I can suggest for your son, which may not be possible for him if he doesn't have a lot of body hair, is to grow a beard. My sons all have facial hair. One used to grow it and shave it off on a whim, but, since his friends told him he looked 12 when they saw him newly shaven (he was actually 19 at the time) he has since insisted on keeping the beard. It used to be a bit patchy, but from about the age of 20 onwards it has been a solid mass of hair. Even when he was 18 and it was patchy, it was enough of an influence on his looks that he never had to show ID when buying alcohol.

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 06/05/2021 09:46

My oldest always looked youger than his years. When we went out to eat one time he ordered a beer (he was 19) and his little brother who was 13 ordered coke. The bar man gave them each others drink as he looked so young.
I was told often to to back and finish school, not go to work when I was 20. Eventually we all catch up, I look much closer to my real age now, as does Ds.

Blueskythinking123 · 06/05/2021 10:30

My 21 Ds is the same. Has a baby face still and also very little facial hair. He has not expressed concern so far. In the first lockdown his peers did have a competition to grow a beard, he was a bit down he couldn't compete with his peers.

DdraigGoch · 06/05/2021 12:01

@Milliways

My DS grew a beard as no one believed he was old enough to be a graduate.
I did the same at 25 (I'm a man, for context). I got fed up with "are you even old enough to work here?" so didn't take a razor on a two week holiday. Problem solved.