Worried about my little girl so much

[Worriedmummy7878]

Name changed for this, posting here for advice..
My little girl and I fled severe domestic abuse.. Her father is an extremely violent and dangerous individual. We are now in hiding through a protection scheme.
I've been court ordered to make her available for interim contact in a contact centre where he has seemingly won over the staff and gets glowing reports.. It twists my stomach inside. Several times the supervisors have said contact is positive because of me and that I haven't denigrated him in front of her..
Our next hearing in a finding of fact hearing in the summer. He's denying all of the abuse and of course blaming me. He abused his daughter also.
I'm now scared because my daughter keeps saying she's scared of him, she's been having the most horrific night terrors when I go in to her she's sweating and shaking and clings onto me.. She says she's scared and I ask what she's scared of and she says daddy :( the damage he's done is irrevocable and he deserves to rot in hell for what he's done to her.
What can I do, how do I tell someone about this. This has been recurring for weeks now. My daughter is nearly 3 and was around 18 months when the domestic abuse was at its most horrific point, she's witnessed and heard her father do the most horrific things to me.. She's been subject to physical and emotional abuse from him also.
I don't know what to do.
I'm represented by a solicitor who is of the firm belief it'll all go wrong for him at the fact finding stage as he's denying abuse that was documented by the police and children's services, the court in itself will find that disturbing.
I'm just so worried about my little girl and don't know what else to do except reassure her and keep her safe.

HVs are independent practitioners who are responsible for safeguarding and can make referrals on that basis.

Keep talking to your hv
She has your back
You need that referral so dd can be assessed so you have a report for the fact finding
And maybe to stop the contact

This is terrible for you and your daughter💐
You have done so well under this overwhelming ordeal. Keep trying no matter what.

I hope you and DD can do simple lovely things outside this horror to build up her inner peace as far as possible. Poor little thing.

Agree that it's ridiculous. The visits are doing her much more harm than good, and it's only the abusive ex who is benefitting in any way. Why the fuck should this be the case?

OP,

I am so sorry for your little girl and for your situation.
When the fuck is this country going to wake up?!
All the safeguarding training is there. If a child goes to school and says something that’s off to a teacher there is a review.
How the hell are innocent kids then put into these situations where they are forced to see abusers when they are clearly expressing they are scared?
All the statistics are there. All the training is there.
I don’t know the answer but I am angry on your behalf and on your daughters behalf.
I wish this could become a huge National outrage but how does that even kick off? Women and children have been living with this shit forever and it’s so normalised that I don’t know how to finally get the anger out there.
Keep putting on record every concern you have. Insist that every professional you speak to records it in their notes. Challenge them with what they are going to do with that information. Make sure they know they are accountable. Speak to every support service you can.. women’s aid etc. Video/ voice record your daughter saying she doesn’t want to go if you can. Fight every which way you can although I get it that they are pushing you into a corner xx

Thank you xxx
She's been quite distressed this weekend saying she doesn't want to see him and she doesn't like him. I recorded her on my phone saying it.. It was quite heartbreaking. I recorded one of her night terrors last night, it was so awful that she scratched her face.. My daughters health visitor has been amazing.. I just have to hope and pray there's no increase in contact after the fact finding.

Have you got CAFCASS or Social Services involved ?
A S7 report is surely a formality with what you’ve both experienced

As a mother I have been there with my children e saying these things. It is heartbreaking
Just carry on loving her and being her Mummy. That’s the only and best thing you can do, as well as maintain a dynamic and honest dialogue with SS and document it all

The Domestic Abuse Bill finally got Royal Assent last week or thereabouts. Your daughter will now be able to be classed as a victim of DA not a witness
There is also a whole scale review by the MoJ around presumption of contact especially in cases like yours

Have you got some help from a DA organisation local to you?
Sending you both lots of love and solidarity
You will both get there