To expect an exception for bf baby?

[PatchItUp]

I have a 2 month old baby who is exclusively breastfed. Today I’ve got a hairdressers appointment for the first time in months and I’ve been really looking forward to it. I’m having cut and colour so may be a few hours. I’d expressed some milk and my DH is going to try giving him a bottle for the first time.

I mentioned when I arrived that this was the situation and that if he refused the bottle, my DH would bring the baby in to be fed then take him away again. I’ve done this in a different hairdressers with my older children before with no problem.

The receptionist said there was a no children policy and therefore I wouldn’t be able to bring him in. I was a bit shocked and reiterated that he is very young, exclusively bf and couldn’t be left hungry if he wouldn’t take the bottle. She said she would check with the hairdresser.

Hairdresser came and said much the same thing - no child policy, if we make an exception for you we have to make one for everyone and customers will complain. I said again that I understood a no child policy to prevent toddlers running around or making noise but this would be a small baby coming in for a feed and then out again. She said she would check with the manager.

Manager heard and said from across the room ‘there’s nowhere for you to go’. By this point all the customers are listening and I felt really conscious and upset about being argued with by three different members of staff. I was fairly sure that this was illegal refusal of services but not totally confident so I said ‘I don’t need to go anywhere, he’ll just be on my lap, have a feed then go again’. They all again said it’s company policy, they can’t make any exceptions. The manager said ‘what’s the percentage chance he’ll need to come in?’ And one of the women said ‘there’s a good chance he’ll just take the bottle so why not take the risk?’ I replied I couldn’t take the risk that he wouldn’t take it and would be left screaming and hungry and not allowed to come in.

Eventually the manager reluctantly agreed that he could be brought in if necessary but it was clear they were really unhappy about it and it’s soured the experience for me massively.

When I checked on my phone it seems they’re acting illegally in refusing services to a breastfeeding mother, although I guess they could argue it’s down to chemical hazards (although this wasn’t mentioned at any time as a reason).

So - was I being unreasonable? And would I be unreasonable to complain later on?

I know some people will say I should have just left but my hair is such a state!! And I’ve been really looking forward to having it cut and having a few hours to myself.

The ONLY TWO places where a woman can be prevented from breastfeeding her baby are:

1: Somewhere considered to have a legitimate health and safety risk.

2: Somewhere that offers services to men only.

I found this as a guideline with Maternity Action (I think), during a quick google search . It didn't mention places with a 'no child' policy.

What part of 'childfree hair salon' do people not understand?

'One of my nieces owns and runs a childfree cafe'
Good for her - I wish there were more childfree businesses around. And well done her for sticking to her rules. No kids means no kids

@Aprilshowersandhail

I would have The Rage if my costly hair appointment was invaded by a baby. Bf or not, your dc and your feeding /child care arrangements are your business not mine... Don't make them so.

How would your appointment be in any way affected by someone else's baby? Blasting hair dryers, inane conversations... it's hardly a zen environment

YABU Op.

@Lottapianos

What part of 'childfree hair salon' do people not understand?

'One of my nieces owns and runs a childfree cafe'
Good for her - I wish there were more childfree businesses around. And well done her for sticking to her rules. No kids means no kids

God, me, too.

@PatchItUp Legally you have a right to breastfeed anywhere. They are discriminating against breastfeeding mothers.

That being said, I would’ve fed baby before I went and expected them to last the 2 hours but maybe I was lucky that mine did. If they didn’t go 2 hours between feeds I wouldn’t have left them yet.

@Somethingsnappy

The ONLY TWO places where a woman can be prevented from breastfeeding her baby are:

1: Somewhere considered to have a legitimate health and safety risk.

2: Somewhere that offers services to men only.

I found this as a guideline with Maternity Action (I think), during a quick google search . It didn't mention places with a 'no child' policy.

But it does pose a health and safety risk.

@Somethingsnappy yet 2 solicitors have posted to say otherwise as it has a child free policy so they are not discriminating her , otherwise you could say a breastfeeding num could book an adult only holiday as they have no right to stop her bringing her baby

@PrincessBuggerPants

None of the people saying OP is unreasonable are actually lawyers, they are women in recovery (or not) with eating disorders or at least dysfunctional relationships with food, furious that other women dare to feel validated in our society. It's their beef, not yours OP.

I think that's a stretch Princess. I agree OP is NBU & am appalled at some posts here. But I'm not going to slate everyone who disagrees with me as having eating disorders or go looking at their posting history.

Your posts are sounding quite odd.

@PrincessBuggerPants, I didn't say that to you. I agree with it, but I didn't say it.

@PrincessBuggerPants except many people disagreeing with the op have or are bf so your assumption is wrong
As the Salon is no children people are saying that is why , if children were allowed and they refused fair enough but this isn't the case , the salon said no due to no children policy not because she wanted to breastfeed

By default you cannot discriminate against breastfeeding if children in general are not allowed on site to be breastfed in the first place.

This was what my niece was told when seeking advice about her business. I can't see a problem with adults only spaces. There's certainly a market for them as there are child friendly spaces. Surely it's good that there is choice?

If you don't like one type,of venue, find one that caters for your wants 🤷🏻‍♀️

@EarringsandLipstick

In fairness Princess

You're a 'fed is best' type aren't you?

This is unfair - everyone is entitled to their view, and there's nothing wrong with the above view.

I would respectfully disagree The view 'fed is best' is not a good one. It implies that not feeding a baby is a option. Similarly breast isn't 'best' but it is biologically normal. Formula is an alternative and isn't 'on par' with breastfeeding for many reasons. Everyone has their right to an informed choice but to suggest that to choose to feed your baby is best is somewhat weird.

@PrincessBuggerPants 2 stated they were solicitors though who said salon was correct as they have a no children policy
Not that they said OP was unreasonable for bf her baby though of course

@PrincessBuggerPants

None of the people saying OP is unreasonable are actually lawyers, they are women in recovery (or not) with eating disorders or at least dysfunctional relationships with food, furious that other women dare to feel validated in our society. It's their beef, not yours OP.

What? 🤣 I think your reaching a bit now. Have you had a few too many tonight?

This was what my niece was told when seeking advice about her business.

Really? Your niece actively sought advice on whether what she was doing would be discriminatory to b/f mothers? 🤔

Bitter women with internalised misogyny who can't acknowledge the sad truth they didn't get adequate support to breastfeed, or just didn't really want to in the first place, having to kick breastfeeding mothers of newborns while they are down in a pathetic attempt to validate their flawed opinions and lack of knowledge years later.

WTF? This place is batshit.

@SecretSpAD

By default you cannot discriminate against breastfeeding if children in general are not allowed on site to be breastfed in the first place.

This was what my niece was told when seeking advice about her business. I can't see a problem with adults only spaces. There's certainly a market for them as there are child friendly spaces. Surely it's good that there is choice?

If you don't like one type,of venue, find one that caters for your wants 🤷🏻‍♀️

Love they way there's such a strong arguement for 'adult only' spaces and yet such a failure to maintain 'women only' spaces atm.

@SecretSpAD some on here think thats wrong despite 2 solicitors saying otherwise they said you could walk into a nightclub and then bring in your baby and B/f to me when I found it strange that you could make a childfree place have to allow bf mothers in
Different scenario if they let bottle fed babies in and not b/ f of course as we all know b/f is perfectly normal and great if you are able

Really? Your niece actively sought advice on whether what she was doing would be discriminatory to b/f mothers

Err, no. She wanted to make sure that she and her business was legally,protected. My niece doesn't give a shiny shit whether a woman is breastfeeding or not. She just didn't want under 18's in her cafe.

The view 'fed is best' is not a good one.

I'm about as passionate a breast feeding advocate as you can get - just read my posts here.

However, every mother has a right to their views. It is not the prerogative of anyone to push views on anyone else. We can advance b/f by support & education (& dealing with the unfair practices as demonstrated on this thread) but if an individual mother feels that for them, feeding their baby in the way they choose is best, they are entitled to have that respected.

I've seen so many posts here of mothers distraught as b/f didn't work for them. That's not right either.

@EarringsandLipstick why would she not as she was opening a business ?
She probabky wanted to cover all angles and incase she was asked as threads like this show many people incl you think a nightclub would have to let someones baby in to breast feed
Her niece probably checked before opening so she knows , like a food restaurant would check all food laws / rules

@80sPadme I know this might be hard to believe.....but not all women are actively breastfeeding. Some don't even have children. Others have grown up children. Some have young children but need time and space that is adult only. It is entirely possible to offer a space for women....but not children.