To expect an exception for bf baby?

[PatchItUp]

I have a 2 month old baby who is exclusively breastfed. Today I’ve got a hairdressers appointment for the first time in months and I’ve been really looking forward to it. I’m having cut and colour so may be a few hours. I’d expressed some milk and my DH is going to try giving him a bottle for the first time.

I mentioned when I arrived that this was the situation and that if he refused the bottle, my DH would bring the baby in to be fed then take him away again. I’ve done this in a different hairdressers with my older children before with no problem.

The receptionist said there was a no children policy and therefore I wouldn’t be able to bring him in. I was a bit shocked and reiterated that he is very young, exclusively bf and couldn’t be left hungry if he wouldn’t take the bottle. She said she would check with the hairdresser.

Hairdresser came and said much the same thing - no child policy, if we make an exception for you we have to make one for everyone and customers will complain. I said again that I understood a no child policy to prevent toddlers running around or making noise but this would be a small baby coming in for a feed and then out again. She said she would check with the manager.

Manager heard and said from across the room ‘there’s nowhere for you to go’. By this point all the customers are listening and I felt really conscious and upset about being argued with by three different members of staff. I was fairly sure that this was illegal refusal of services but not totally confident so I said ‘I don’t need to go anywhere, he’ll just be on my lap, have a feed then go again’. They all again said it’s company policy, they can’t make any exceptions. The manager said ‘what’s the percentage chance he’ll need to come in?’ And one of the women said ‘there’s a good chance he’ll just take the bottle so why not take the risk?’ I replied I couldn’t take the risk that he wouldn’t take it and would be left screaming and hungry and not allowed to come in.

Eventually the manager reluctantly agreed that he could be brought in if necessary but it was clear they were really unhappy about it and it’s soured the experience for me massively.

When I checked on my phone it seems they’re acting illegally in refusing services to a breastfeeding mother, although I guess they could argue it’s down to chemical hazards (although this wasn’t mentioned at any time as a reason).

So - was I being unreasonable? And would I be unreasonable to complain later on?

I know some people will say I should have just left but my hair is such a state!! And I’ve been really looking forward to having it cut and having a few hours to myself.

YABU.

1. you should have checked ahead of your appointment to confirm this was ok.

2. a no child policy is a no child policy. You can't bend the rules because you have a few split ends. Some people may go to this hairdressers specifically for the policy.

3. you should have checked the baby took the bottle in the first place to avoid this whole scenario.

@EarringsandLipstick the law is never truly clear cut , people wouldn't get off crimes if there were no loop holes

So I have dyslexia and made a few spelling mistakes so my post makes no sense apparently to you , discrimination works in lots of way

Firstly, I've no knowledge of your dyslexia so don't know what the discrimination comment is about.

Secondly, it wasn't spelling mistakes, it was the actual point you were making, and your language was unclear. Not spelling at all.

I can see it from both sides tbh. I understand that your baby is only really little and you might have some anxiety around leaving him for a few hours. The OP might have post natal anxiety too and may not feel that anyone else can feed baby. However, I am sure your husband can manage for a few hours. You might even enjoy your baby free time.
I can also see it from the hairdressers point of view too. if they have a no child rule, well then you pick a different hairdresser. Also we are still in Covid times so that is 2 more people in a salon. Hairdressers have had to take every precaution and want to open in a way that they can make customers feel safe. I would get anxious at the thought of a sweer little baby inhaling all the fumes etc that are part and parcel of a hairdressers.

Maybe you could get a hairdresser to come to your house? A lot easier. I am sure there are some mobile hairdressers around your area that would be happy to accomade once the covid rules are adhered to.

Or maybe just wait a few more weeks until baby can feed from a bottle.

@EarringsandLipstick well we all can't be as clever and as knowledgeable as you can we

Why can't you feed your baby just before you go? Hairdressers should not take longer than 3 hours at most. Feed baby again when you get back. A hairdressers is not a place for a baby with sprays and chemicals. Surely you can see that.

[quote worriedatthemoment]@EarringsandLipstick and in the exam situation what about the other people in there if the baby was crying etc ? Maybe the law is allowed exemption on this as I am sure there are exceptions
When you read it , it doesn't state every scenerio and I am sure exam centres also get guidance [/quote]
The legislation requires provision to be made.

It's up to the exam centre to do so.

This provision should not affect other candidates. For goodness sake, how many times do you want it reiterated?

YABU. There’s a reason I didn’t get my hair done for months after having DC2 (aka the bottle dodger). I wouldn’t have dreamt of asking if I could take the baby in to BF part way through. It’s not like a hair appointment is a critical medical treatment or even remotely a necessity. You can wait until you can leave the baby for longer.

[quote worriedatthemoment]@EarringsandLipstick the law is never truly clear cut , people wouldn't get off crimes if there were no loop holes [/quote]
You're hilarious!!!

YAB as U as F

[quote worriedatthemoment]@EarringsandLipstick well we all can't be as clever and as knowledgeable as you can we[/quote]
You can however do a quick Google & find the info.

Or take at face value the many posts here explaining the legal situation.

[quote worriedatthemoment]@EarringsandLipstick the law is never truly clear cut , people wouldn't get off crimes if there were no loop holes [/quote]
The Equality Act isn't criminal law though.

@EarringsandLipstick yes, but if the baby is that hungry he or she will take from the bottle.

I think the manager could definitely of handled it better. It was probably a covid thing to not allow children? I can't imagine they would be that strict in normal times.

I do remember going for a cut and colour when my baby was 1 month. I never gave bottles to either of mine but just presumed it would be okay and actually ended up taking over 3 hours and my poor dh was pushing him around screaming. It definitely gets better after 4/5 months and you can leave them for longer periods.

Not read the full 21 pages here, but I’m just going to add I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all!

If he’s not a fussy baby, and you can give him a feed without too much disruption to your appointment then just put him under the robe, and do it when you’re sitting around with the colour in your hair.
I don’t see what the drama is at all, should be easy!

just because something is permitted by legislation is that a reason in and of itself to insist on doing something?
there are all manner of other factors to take into account (as there are in all other "legal" scenarios).

and even more important, just because something is permitted by legislation does not mean that EVERYONE MUST do it (whilst reminding all and sundry that it is the law so they should be doing it too).

The real world does not run strictly on the lines of what (in theory) is legal or even "it is possible under the law so everyone must do x".

Ridiculous.

@Babdoc and @Talkwhilstyouwalk I had a baby that went on feeding strike due to an incident and ended up in hospital. Don’t not assume that a baby will just ‘take a bottle of it can’t have access to breast’, babies aren’t that simple sadly.

• *@Lemonelderflower but that isn't what you said , you said they had a tight to bF at work when they wanted so what if baby is fed in demand , that isn't practical. And this is an a opinion based website mostly and my opinion is that it isn't fair on other employees if someone had their baby brought in every hr Now most of us are sensible and wouldn't do this as we would consider our colleagues , but then a good majority wouldn't take our baby to the hairdressers to feed either , as shown on her

You disagree with the law. No one here wrote it or has the power to change it. Write to your MP and tell them you don’t think women should have the right to breastfeed or express at work if it bothers you that much.

Yanbu that’s discrimination, and totally unreasonable and short sighted of them given most of their customers will be women. I would complain and find somewhere else to go next time! I’m shocked at the number of people on here who think yabu! Lots of companies seem to be taking advantage of covid rules to make things difficult for parents when there is clearly no justification for it, especially a babe in arms!

I had a baby that went on feeding strike due to an incident and ended up in hospital. Don’t not assume that a baby will just ‘take a bottle of it can’t have access to breast’, babies aren’t that simple sadly.

I had a similar experience when I needed surgery - my baby point blank refused the bottle and it was incredibly stressful. The arrogance of all the posters claiming a baby will definitely take a bottle is beyond me.

Yabu
I have 6 dc and I never had to have one at the hairdressers with me. I didn’t go to the hairdressers until I knew my DC was happy and would take a feed with no worries. My DC are my responsible. We have to respect what others say. Their policy is no kids. That’s all kids. They can’t change the rules for one.

@EarringsandLipstick I can also disagree about a law which is what I was doing , I think its ludicrous that a women can feed a baby every hr if needed at work and a workplace should accommodate that , I also think its wrong a hairdressers cannot have a no child policy and that mean no child as its a choice to use them .
I bf so I am not against it and someone feeding in a restaurant or cafe etc I agree should be allowed if course
And someone expressing at work every few hrs again ok but I think its a fine line making a hairdressers that has a policy not be able to follow that policy when other choices are available or a adult only break surely you can't book on one of you have a baby you are breastfeeding and claim discrimination in this instance, but looking at the law you could which to me seems wrong

@1Morewineplease

You cannot be breastfeeding while your having chemicals applied to your hair. If your hair is being snipped, hair will fall onto your baby. How on Earth can you breastfeed your baby while you're being done? Do you expect the stylist to down tools while you breastfeed? What is stylist meant to do in the meantime? Are you assuming that they will ask their next and subsequent clients to wait half an hour longer for their appointments because of a breastfeeding parent?

Maybe don't have appointments until you know that your baby can accept a bottle .

Well as I've breastfed while having my hair done I'll answer this one.

1. they tend to give you a gown to put over your clothes to protect them while having your hair done
2. you pick up baby lift your top, attach baby and if required drape said gown over baby a la feeding covers

Just for total transparency, I have both left a young baby at home to get hair done and taken one with me. It was as the situation demanded at the time.

[quote PatchItUp]@BonasthatBonas so I shouldn’t have my hair cut for as long as I’m breastfeeding?

I promise not to complain if my baby accidentally swallows my hair [/quote]
A cut (and blow-dry) would be what, an hour tops? Pretty sure your DH could handle your two-months-old for that long. But you're "having cut and colour so may be a few hours." And your baby's never been offered a bottle before.

But hey, it's fine, I'll just get DH to bring the two-months-old into an environment riddled with blasts of hot air, perm lotions, dyes and hairspray; I'll breastfeed whilst my hair's covered in dye with their face just inches from it.

YABU, because

• Your only concern is 'is it legal for them to say no'
• You show zero concern for your baby in that chemical-laden environment

YABVU