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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's not weird to call someone 'The In laws'

81 replies

SoleTraderLady · 03/05/2021 22:22

In this situation?

My sister and her partner of 3 years. They do not live together and are not married but very happy together. I referred to them as the inlaws and was told that isn't the right term for them.

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 03/05/2021 22:24

No that's fine. So like 'my sister and brother in law went to Spain last year' your thing?

UseMyName · 03/05/2021 22:24

In-laws are parents in law to me.

OwlinaTree · 03/05/2021 22:24

type thing!

MangoM · 03/05/2021 22:28

I refer to my husband's family as the collective 'the inlaws'

My sister's husband is more specifically 'brother in law' but I wouldn't call him 'the inlaws' as he's only one person.

Spectrumofhumanlife · 03/05/2021 22:28

Well I guess the ‘in law’ part refers to the legal act of marriage, so it’s not factually correct.
But why anyone cares what you call to choose them I have no idea! What does it matter? All amounts to the same thing really... your partners parents.

thistimelastweek · 03/05/2021 22:29

Your sister can't be an in-law but her partner is.

Spectrumofhumanlife · 03/05/2021 22:29

Hang on I might be getting confused... so you called your sister and her partner the ‘in laws’? That is a bit odd. Your sister isn’t your ‘in law’.

DappledThings · 03/05/2021 22:30

It's a weird way to refer to your own sister. I would talk about my brother and my sister-in-law, or my brother and his wife. I wouldn't collectively call them my in-laws.

As a PP said "my in-laws" would refer to DH's parents.

And I wouldn't refer to your sister's partner as an in-law anyway. Not if they aren't married or even living together. It is quite odd all round.

AFS1 · 03/05/2021 22:32

I call my partner’s family my in-laws, although technically they’re not.
But I’m not sure why you’d refer to your sister and partner as in-laws..? Or do you mean you’d call him your brother-in-law?

Poppins2016 · 03/05/2021 22:32

I would call my sisters partner my 'brother in law's but I wouldn't call his family 'in laws' collectively.

I would call my husbands family 'the in laws/family in law' collectively.

tabulahrasa · 03/05/2021 22:36

She’s your sister though... so it’s a bit weird to call her an in law

Aquamarine1029 · 03/05/2021 22:38

Your sister is not an in-law. She's your sister. Confused

Her boyfriend is just a boyfriend. He is not your in-law.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 03/05/2021 22:40

No. Your partner’s family are your in-laws. Your sister isn’t your In-law just because she has a partner now!

Chitaufree · 03/05/2021 22:42

She’s your sister so no
Is English your first language?

Sunshine1235 · 03/05/2021 22:43

She’s your sister not an in-law, that doesn’t change because she has a partner. Your husband could maybe refer to them as the in-laws but usually it refers to parents I think

MissKeithsNeice · 03/05/2021 22:46

You could call him your BIL, but your sister is your sister. Collectively, they are not your in laws.

HandInGlove85 · 03/05/2021 22:47

That's bizarre. She's your sister and her partner is not even married to her. Confused

I've only ever heard "The in-laws" used to refer to parents-in-law.

GertiMJN · 03/05/2021 22:48

Referring to your sister and her dp as "the in laws" is odd. Even if she was married to him. He could be referred to as brother-in-law but she's still simply your sister.

"In laws" as a phrase tends to be used to the family (especially parents) of your spouse.

SnackSizeRaisin · 03/05/2021 22:49

No I don't think that's right. Your sister is not your in law. Her boyfriend is not either unless they are married. You could call him your brother in law for convenience. But his family are not your in laws either. So there is no 'the in laws' here - there's only 1 'in law' your sister's partner.
The "in laws" used for a group could normally only refer to your husband's parents and siblings

Honeybobbin · 03/05/2021 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Confusedmeanderings · 03/05/2021 22:57

When my husband's sister divorced her husband, he renamed himself the brother-outlaw. We've called him that ever since!

Summerfun54321 · 03/05/2021 22:59

Neither of them are in laws 😂

Nohomemadecandles · 03/05/2021 23:03

Yeah, that's not the right term! Your in-laws are your husband or wife's family!

Giay · 03/05/2021 23:05

No, 'in laws' to me means my husbands family. And likewise, my family would be the 'in-laws' to him.

I don't think the 'In laws' necessarily have to actually be married (if that's what you're asking) but neither can be a blood relative.

waterlego · 03/05/2021 23:06

Are you referring to the parents of the boyfriend? So for eg, you might say to your sister: ‘Do you get on well with your in-laws?’

I wouldn’t think that was odd, even though they aren’t technically her in-laws.