To ask the nanny not to have hot drinks whilst looking after the children?

[namechangedasouting]

We have a new part time nanny, currently settling in with out just 2 year old and 5 month old. I'm not back to the office for a couple of months but am WFH part time (hopefully, I will soon be able to be WFH on the nanny days, but currently I'm around to help most of the time whilst she's here).

We're on week 3 now, and there a few things which are making me a bit uncomfortable. She is drinking a lot of tea/coffee (at least 10 cups a day) which in itself is fine, but she leaves them accessible to my toddler. They are piping hot (freshly boiled water), not left to cool before being brought into reach. More than once I've had to pull DS away from the table they are at and ask her to move the mug. She is finding time to sit with the drinks instead of making an effort to interact with DS. He is pretty unsettled (new nanny but also other stuff happening as well) so is understandably a bit clingy, but I do feel that if she got down on the floor and started playing he would join her.

How should I approach this? Would IBU to ask her not to have hot drinks at all whilst she is around the toddler and baby? I'm not a tea/coffee drinker so may be underestimating how big an ask this is. I feel like I need to address the safety issue urgently, but also the decision to sit with feet up and a hot drink rather than interacting with the kids (again, if it were a couple of times a day it would be different, but it's at least once an hour).

[WetWeekends]

I would find another Nanny. You’ll never be able to relax, as others have said if she’s this lax when you’re there, what is she going to be like when you aren’t! You need to be happy that they’re in really good hands, otherwise you won’t be able to concentrate at work.

[stevalnamechanger]

Hmm can't you just ask her to use a thermos cup ?

[Maray1967]

Our babysitters knew better than this. I’ll admit I have an issue with hot drinks as I have a friend who was scalded as a child and had a major issue with inlaws leaving mugs of hot tea within reach - I’ve posted on here before about that being one of my reasons why I would not have had inlaws as regular childcare if they had lived closer and offered. No hot drinks at nursery anywhere near the children.
This is a serious issue- first time I saw that I would have raised it and made it clear that the drink must be in a safe cup or flask. Second time - end of employment.

[Doyouevershutup]

I’m with my toddler all day and am lucky if I get to sit down with two cups a day 🙈the morning one I treat myself too as she’s having breakfast in her chair securely away from the cup and that’s about it!
It’s basic safety to not leave them lying around, I think I’d discuss with her and if it doesn’t change, would look for someone new. Does she have good references?

[MaryMashedThem]

I work in a burns unit. Hot scalds from tea or pans are the most common causes of serious burns in children. I would not have her look after my kids for a moment.You are not overreacting get rid of her asap.

I came here to say this. I'm no longer in burns but I saw some horrific injuries from hot drinks spilling on children, some requiring extensive skin grafts.

[CandyLeBonBon]

More than once I've had to pull DS away from the table they are at and ask her to move the mug. She is finding time to sit with the drinks instead of making an effort to interact with DS. He is pretty unsettled (new nanny but also other stuff happening as well) so is understandably a bit clingy, but I do feel that if she got down on the floor and started playing he would join her.

So ds is with you, because he's clingy, and the nanny has made a hot drink and is sitting with you? At which point you are concerned that the drink is in reach?You then want the nanny to get down on the floor and encourage ds to play with her while you're there? Am I reading that right?

I'm trying to understand how an experienced nanny with good references would make such a basic error? It doesn't make sense?

[Sparklingbrook]

Yep. Some of them are in denial about how much tea and coffee is drunk in so many workplaces

I worked somewhere years ago that so much tea was made. It was a good excuse for many to skive off working for a bit and faff about in the kitchen.

[CandyLeBonBon]

@Sparklingbrook

Yep. Some of them are in denial about how much tea and coffee is drunk in so many workplaces

I worked somewhere years ago that so much tea was made. It was a good excuse for many to skive off working for a bit and faff about in the kitchen.

I prefer to call it 'processing time' - but then I'm not a nanny!

[Fluffyslippers123]

Former nanny here and that is not acceptable. Neither the hot drinks around a baby or toddler, not spending that much time away from the child.

I have my own nannies now and this was in my mind when I hired them (thanks to leaving my DS with a family member as a toddler and relative kept the bloody kettle plugged in on the lounge floor....) and tell them they’re welcome to a tea or coffee when baby is asleep or they’re on a break

[mummysharkk]

I'd seriously get rid now.

If one of your children ends up burnt / harmed you will say along the lines of 'I knew something would happen'.

If at interview stage she'd have told you she will leave hot drinks near your dc and sit down for a cuppa instead of interacting with the children you wouldn't have even considered her- what's the difference now as she is showing you what she will be like.

I'd also be terrified when youngest starts moving around and there's 2 for her to watch.

Mostly what's concerning (apart from her lack of safeguarding) is the fact she is blatantly doing all this right in front of you.

Please please replace her as your babies are irreplaceable.

[Hollyhobbi]

Scalding hot liquid is still scalding hot in a travel mug if it spills on a toddler.

[Kokosrieksts]

I’m just comparing these 10 hot cups to my one cold coffee that I barely managed to drink as a new mum. Doesn't sound right at all to me.

[longwayoff]

Can't get the staff. She's a risk to your child, surely you're not going to leave her with him/her? Really, don't. New nanny required ASAP.

[Jobsharenightmare]

So a hot drink an hour is an absolute joke. She's supposed to be interacting with the children.

[SomebodyThatIUsedToKnow3]

@4PawsGood

Leaving them in reach and ignoring your child for 10x5-10 minutes seems the actual problem. If she can’t work out that these are a problem then I think she’s not fit to look after children. Maybe a few breaks could be ok while a child is busy playing on their own, but leaving hot drink accessible really isn’t.

This. I was ready to say YABU based on your title, but you are very much not being unreasonable. I'd expect a nanny to already be cognisant of these issues.

[Jellybabiesforbreakfast]

@Hollyhobbi. I agree, and you still need to be careful with a travel mug but (at least with the one I've got) the top screws on tightly and there's only a small hole to sip from. So there's much less potential for a catastrophic scald since only a little bit will spill out if the mug is open (and none if it's shut).

[LigPatin]

@CandyLeBonBon

She is still an employee and is still entitled to the correct procedures when it comes to managing performance. A simple conversation would achieve that. If it's clear, after that, that the nanny is inept, then terminating her employment is the correct course of action. She is entitled to be treated with the courtesy of a conversation.

Whilst an explanation is necessary, as she's been employed less than 2 years she has no dismissal rights. Just served notice (or paid in leiu) though endangering the children would be likely considered gross misconduct.
She has been verbally warned repeatedly.

[HazeyJaneII]

My ds pulled a travel cup of coffee over himself and ended up with major scalds down his legs - it was cup with a lid, but the lid just came off when it fell on to him. It was absolutely awful.

When I was working (in a preschool) we were only allowed hot drinks in the kitchen where no children were allowed.

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

Whilst an explanation is necessary, as she's been employed less than 2 years she has no dismissal rights. Just served notice (or paid in leiu) though endangering the children would be likely considered gross misconduct.
She has been verbally warned repeatedly.

Exactly.

[SionnachGlic]

I'd be worried about the hot mug left within reach....how did she react when you pointed this out? I wouldn't be stopping her from having a tea/coffee at some point in the day that is apppropriate like naptime...but I would be worried if she is lacksadasical with her feet when you are there, what will she be doing when you are not? I think you need a talk & set clear expectations. It could be, as PP said, because you are there & stepping in (if you are). Talk to her, if she doesn't respond as you wish, she is not a fit.

[SionnachGlic]

*with her feet up

[Itsokthanks]

There's no way she'd be looking aftermy kids. Sounds like an accident waiting to happen with the 2 yr old. I used to find it difficult having friends round who were lax about leaving drinks in reach of little ones but I'd expect someone who's paid to look after kids to know better.

[MolyHolyGuacamole]

With regards to her sitting on a chair instead of on the floor with the child, are you in the room when this is happening? It's probably so awkward for her so she feels like you are in charge when you're in the room and doesn't want to interfere with you and DC.

You need to say goodbye to your DC, and leave them to it. DC will cry (sorry can't remember if it's a DD or DS) but they'll get used to the new nanny quicker if you're not always popping in and out. Being a nanny for WFH parents is very hard.

And I doubt she's drinking 10 cups a day.

[olympicsrock]

I came on to say YABU but having read the OP this is not at all ok. Scalding hot drinks in open cups are not ok around small children . I saw a dreadful accident happen once from this. She needs to have fewer drinks, not near your child a s get down and interact with them safely.

[CandyLeBonBon]

I understand your point, @LigPatin, however I do believe that a conversation as to why is important - an exit interview if you will. It might not be legally required but I still think it's a valid activity. If nothing else, to let her learn where she could improve.

It sounds like strange behaviour for an experienced, trained nanny. I still don't understand the setup that the op has described.

I mean settling in for a couple of days, yes. 3 weeks though?