To ask the nanny not to have hot drinks whilst looking after the children?

[namechangedasouting]

We have a new part time nanny, currently settling in with out just 2 year old and 5 month old. I'm not back to the office for a couple of months but am WFH part time (hopefully, I will soon be able to be WFH on the nanny days, but currently I'm around to help most of the time whilst she's here).

We're on week 3 now, and there a few things which are making me a bit uncomfortable. She is drinking a lot of tea/coffee (at least 10 cups a day) which in itself is fine, but she leaves them accessible to my toddler. They are piping hot (freshly boiled water), not left to cool before being brought into reach. More than once I've had to pull DS away from the table they are at and ask her to move the mug. She is finding time to sit with the drinks instead of making an effort to interact with DS. He is pretty unsettled (new nanny but also other stuff happening as well) so is understandably a bit clingy, but I do feel that if she got down on the floor and started playing he would join her.

How should I approach this? Would IBU to ask her not to have hot drinks at all whilst she is around the toddler and baby? I'm not a tea/coffee drinker so may be underestimating how big an ask this is. I feel like I need to address the safety issue urgently, but also the decision to sit with feet up and a hot drink rather than interacting with the kids (again, if it were a couple of times a day it would be different, but it's at least once an hour).

[CandyLeBonBon]

I'm in agreement with bluntness on this one.

So your mum is there, you are there and nanny is there?

That's a lot of adults. And your child will naturally migrate to you. Because you're there.

I make a lot of tea in my day and always did when my kids were little.

What is the daily schedule like because right now it sounds like too many cooks are spoiling the broth.

The first thing to do is actually talk to her, if her response is nonchalant, then fair enough, get rid, but at least have a conversation!

[Whatshouldicallme]

Yikes, I agree with previous posters that this seems a wider issue that won't resolve by limiting hot drinks. She's not trying or doesn't know how to engage your child and is failing to take basic safety precautions. These are two essential responsibilities of the role. I'd cut your losses and get rid. Agree as well that drinking so many hot drinks at any job each day is taking the piss, never mind a job working with children!!!

[ASundayWellSpent]

Not a nanny but an EYFS practitioner... I perhaps squeeze in two hot drinks a WEEK (am a huge tea drinker at home) and that is not in a hazardous way to children. She is taking the piss

[aormom]

Definitely get rid of her. She is so unprofessional and she obviously has no interest in her job. Of course she should be down playing with the children and not with her feet up! 10 tea breaks is ridiculous and leaving hot drinks in reach of the children is pure negligence. I definitely wouldn't be comfortable leaving my children with someone like that.

[ChrissyPlummer]

YANBU, I was scalded as a 5 year old at my dance class. Waiting in the changing room; really an annex of the church hall and although we had been warned not to jump up and sit on the tables, because the mums that waited often had hot drinks, I did and someone’s tea went all over my bum and the back of my legs. No ones fault except mine but it happened in a few seconds and the lady whose tea it was was no more than a few inches from the cup.

[Nohomemadecandles]

I can drink a cup of tea without either taking a break or putting my feet up!
Safety is different but the rest from pp's is a bit out of proportion.

[Gwenhwyfar]

"I do think it is unreasonable to ban someone from having hot drinks for a day."

Yep.

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

@CandyLeBonBon

I'm in agreement with bluntness on this one.

So your mum is there, you are there and nanny is there?

That's a lot of adults. And your child will naturally migrate to you. Because you're there.

I make a lot of tea in my day and always did when my kids were little.

What is the daily schedule like because right now it sounds like too many cooks are spoiling the broth.

The first thing to do is actually talk to her, if her response is nonchalant, then fair enough, get rid, but at least have a conversation!

Or you can raise your standards and just move on from a person who's supposed to be qualified to give childcare and yet has had to be told more than once to not leave mugs of freshly boiled water in the reach of a toddler and preparing and drinking a hot drink at least once a hour - both of these both stated by the OP in the initial post.

Basic safety, 3 weeks in, you've spotted her doing this more than once and it's carried on, not to mention the frequency.

But diddums, have a 'chat', buy her a mug, etc Jesus wept.

[CandyLeBonBon]

I'm sorry @osbertthesyrianhamster did you mean to be that rude?

[Gwenhwyfar]

"Because she's stopping to boil the kettle and make a hot drink every hour when she's not the mother but paid to be the nanny to the children hmm"

Isn't a STAHM also paid somehow in the sense that she's usually supported by someone?

[HOkieCOkie]

She should be free to drink as many drinks as she likes but they should be safe snd out of reach. I myself use a travel up and keep it high out of reach.

[HOkieCOkie]

*travel cup

[Gwenhwyfar]

@Nohomemadecandles

I can drink a cup of tea without either taking a break or putting my feet up!
Safety is different but the rest from pp's is a bit out of proportion.

Yep. Some of them are in denial about how much tea and coffee is drunk in so many workplaces.

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

@CandyLeBonBon

I'm sorry *@osbertthesyrianhamster* did you mean to be that rude?

Why do people think such a silly attempt at passive aggression has a point? 😂😂😂

Basic standards of safety for a child, the employee's been spotted not practising this more than once by the OP, thankfully with no consequences to the child, but it's RUDE to say don't bother having a cozy chat with her?

[LigPatin]

I came on to say YABU (I'm a Nanny) but after reading your OP I would say get rid of her - having hot drinks out of reach of toddlers is extremely basic stuff, she shouldn't need to be told this.
If she hasn't got the basics of safety down, she shouldn't be looking after children.

[Gwenhwyfar]

"She's on probation. That's when you're on your best behaviour."

I've always drunk tea when on probation
I'd need quite a lot to keep me awake during a ten hour shift as well.

[mammmamia]

There’s a reason why people with very young DC never find time to have a hot drink. It’s because they’re responsible parents who are either too busy attending to their DC or they forget about them having put them out of reach and then got busy with something else.
Your nanny sounds neither responsible nor attentive so I’d get rid.

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

@Gwenhwyfar

"She's on probation. That's when you're on your best behaviour."

I've always drunk tea when on probation
I'd need quite a lot to keep me awake during a ten hour shift as well.

Great, get in touch with the OP so you can hook up the nanny with some work having charge of a toddler and baby and drink 10+ cups of tea a shift, at least once an hour, and left your mug of boiling water around the weans.

I once worked dispatching taxis. We drank that much tea and even smoked in the office. Difference? I wasn't being paid to look after a toddler and baby but a phone and a computer. And I'd have been let go had I been dashing off to the loo too often and not answering the phone (back before kids I had an amazing bladder).

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

I'm a big tea/coffee drinker and at most might hit 6 cups in 12 hours on a cold day.. I tend to add some cold though and would often drink a mug down very fast. Fat chance I'd get to actually sit down with a cup, I've got a toddler & a 4 year old.

You can't ban all hot drinks. But you can - expect reasonable safety standards, and expect that the amount of time she spends getting drinks isn't excessive and interfering with her ability to do the job well.

[midnightstar66]

From the title it sounded unreasonable but on reading the actual post it sounds more like you need a new nanny!

[PlanDeRaccordement]

Sorry but a nanny that did not interact or play with my children would be let go. You’re trying to manipulate her into doing her job. It won’t work, she will replace the hot drink with being on her phone or whatever.

(I’ve never hired a nanny, but I would think they’d at least do as much as a teenage babysitter).

[CandyLeBonBon]

I wasn't being passive aggressive @osbertthesyrianhamster I was suggesting them at your post was rude and abrasive, which I think was fairly direct and clear.

I'm intrigued as to why the op needs herself snd two other people involved in childcare and wondered if there was more involved than simply the report of a supposedly experienced nanny leaving hot drinks around, because that sounds odd. I was enquiring as to the dynamics of the relationships because it's unusual to be at home, bring your mum in and have the nanny in all at the same time,

Just interested in the situation.

[SunshineCake]

This is just ridiculous.

I used to be a nanny and in one job the baby was ten weeks and mum didn't work. While always stepping back if mum wanted to do something with the baby I always knew it was my job so I interacted and just pretended mum wasn't there. Even in my first job I knew hot drinks + a child was a no-no.

She needs to go.

Call her in the morning and tell her not to come back. Put her notice in the post with a cheque.

This happened to me. I received a call at half seven and received a weeks cheque in the post the next day. Sacked for being in care as a child, totally unfair but I think doing the same in this case is 100% fine.

[CandyLeBonBon]

She is still an employee and is still entitled to the correct procedures when it comes to managing performance. A simple conversation would achieve that. If it's clear, after that, that the nanny is inept, then terminating her employment is the correct course of action. She is entitled to be treated with the courtesy of a conversation.

[BeGreen]

She hasn’t got even the most basic grasp of child safety if she’s leaving hot drinks in reach of a toddler. I’d find someone else.