To ask the nanny not to have hot drinks whilst looking after the children?

[namechangedasouting]

We have a new part time nanny, currently settling in with out just 2 year old and 5 month old. I'm not back to the office for a couple of months but am WFH part time (hopefully, I will soon be able to be WFH on the nanny days, but currently I'm around to help most of the time whilst she's here).

We're on week 3 now, and there a few things which are making me a bit uncomfortable. She is drinking a lot of tea/coffee (at least 10 cups a day) which in itself is fine, but she leaves them accessible to my toddler. They are piping hot (freshly boiled water), not left to cool before being brought into reach. More than once I've had to pull DS away from the table they are at and ask her to move the mug. She is finding time to sit with the drinks instead of making an effort to interact with DS. He is pretty unsettled (new nanny but also other stuff happening as well) so is understandably a bit clingy, but I do feel that if she got down on the floor and started playing he would join her.

How should I approach this? Would IBU to ask her not to have hot drinks at all whilst she is around the toddler and baby? I'm not a tea/coffee drinker so may be underestimating how big an ask this is. I feel like I need to address the safety issue urgently, but also the decision to sit with feet up and a hot drink rather than interacting with the kids (again, if it were a couple of times a day it would be different, but it's at least once an hour).

[saraclara]

So no mums here have a hot drink at home during the day if they're SAHMs or at the weekend if they're not?

I had hot drinks when my children were small, and still do when I look after my granddaughter. But they're kept safely out of reach.

If she's not automatically doing that, and she's not interacting with your DC, it sounds like she's not the nanny you need.

[mathanxiety]

The safety concern can be addressed with the insistence that she gets a travel mug for her coffee, and a reminder that hot drinks must be kept out of reach of the DCs even in a travel mug.

The interaction issue might be sorted out if you were to make yourself scarce. Some nannies feel a bit inhibited when there's a hovering parent.

[Viviennemary]

I'd find somebody else. If she is careless enough to do that she could be careless in other things. Ten hot drinks a day. Not on no matter how careful she is. Get rid.

[maddiemookins16mum]

How on earth is she finding time to have 10 cuppas a day with two such young wains.

[Wrongnamegame4]

The hot drinks are not the only problem. Het rid.

[TheVamoosh]

Even if you talk to her or ban hot drinks, she has shown extremely poor judgement and work ethic and I doubt she'll change that easily.

[Pinkpaisley]

She should have the common sense to use a travel mug.

[MindGrapes]

When you have a baby/young child your instinct when you have a cup of tea / coffee is to put it down high up - on a mantelpiece or shelf. I can't really comprehend not doing that but I guess if you don't have much experience around kids you might not immediately think about it.

But then once pointed out it's really weird to keep leaving them within reach. Do you have any high up shelves?

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

@sadpapercourtesan

not to mention boiling the fucking kettle every hour and putting feet up drinking bloody tea

Are you actually like this in real life? What a joy you must be at parties.

There aren't actually many jobs where you can't get a cup of tea/coffee during the day. I would think a travel cup is the ideal solution to the potential scalding issue - that is what teachers and nursery staff use (at least in all the schools and settings I've worked in).

If you're not happy with her care of the children though, I would say that's a bit more pressing than how many times she boils the kettle.

What, expected to do the job I'm paid for and not be on a tea break at least every hour? You must be a joy to work with.

During the day is one thing, she's having at least 10 cups in a 10 hour shift.

[maddiemookins16mum]

But yes, the PP is right, it’s virtually impossible to interact with mum there. The 2 year old will particularly just want you. This is why I only took sole charge positions.

[Trixie78]

Look for a new nanny, if that's what she's doing when you're there she'll be worse when you're not.

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

@saraclara

So no mums here have a hot drink at home during the day if they're SAHMs or at the weekend if they're not?

I had hot drinks when my children were small, and still do when I look after my granddaughter. But they're kept safely out of reach.

If she's not automatically doing that, and she's not interacting with your DC, it sounds like she's not the nanny you need.

She's having one at least every hour and she' not a SAHM.

[ThisIsStartingToBoreMe]

Get a new nanny. You made an error by recruiting this one. Learn from it and move on. What would concern me the most would be the fact that you have asked her not to do it and she continues to do it anyway. Thats disrespectful towards you and a bit of a safeguarding issue to your child to be honest.

Where did you recruit her from?

[Jellybabiesforbreakfast]

I've always used an insulated rubber travel mug since my DC was tiny. Non-spill, close it after each sip and meant I could just pop it on the side when I was playing with him on the floor with no risk of burns if he did knock it over.

She sounds like a "sofa and phone" type of nanny. I'd get rid. With two little ones, you need someone active and engaged.

[saraclara]

But @osbertthesyrianhamster, she's going to be the person at the child's home, caring for him. Just as the mother would. Why should she not be allowed the hot drink that most mothers would have? And why is the frequency a problem?
SAHMs continue to parent while their coffee is on a high shelf and they take occasional gulps. The nanny can continue to nanny doing the same.

But if this nanny thinks drinking coffee means she doesn't do anything else for 20 minutes in every hour, then that's a different matter.

[Sparklingbrook]

I had hot drinks when my children were small (SAHM) but not a cuppa an hour with sole charge of a 2 year old and 5 month old. Plus i'd have been having a wee every hour too with that quantity.

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

@saraclara

But *@osbertthesyrianhamster*, she's going to be the person at the child's home, caring for him. Just as the mother would. Why should she not be allowed the hot drink that most mothers would have? And why is the frequency a problem?
SAHMs continue to parent while their coffee is on a high shelf and they take occasional gulps. The nanny can continue to nanny doing the same.

But if this nanny thinks drinking coffee means she doesn't do anything else for 20 minutes in every hour, then that's a different matter.

Because she's stopping to boil the kettle and make a hot drink every hour when she's not the mother but paid to be the nanny to the children . And doing this when the parent is there, once she's gone, well, yep, a 'tea and phone' nanny. She's a nanny, anyone trained in childcare knows damn well you're not paid to sit drinking bloody tea every hour and leave hot drinks round kids, not have the employer buy you a travel mug and tell you that you have to use it. Who'd want a nanny who's that clueless? She's already been told not to leave the drinks like that and still does! The OP states she's sitting with drinks.

Why not hire her or find her another job since you see no problem at all with a nanny having a tea break every hour of the shift and who has to be told more than once not to leave hot water round a child?

[Bluntness100]

Some weird responses on here, it’s totally normal to drink tea or coffee in your work place. The issue here is safety.

Op you need to speak to her about your concerns. It’s the only way to develop a good working relationship. Banning her from having tea or coffee is just ludicrous and she will start to look for another job.

[Loopylobes]

She expects to sit backand disengage from your children for the length of time it takes to drink a hot drink every hour and you have had to move your DS out of reach of the hot drink more than once?

This is the time when she should be demonstrating her competence.

Is she making efforts to engage with your DS or just not bothering because you're present?

All early years practitioners have to make an effort to get to know children while their parents are present during settling in sessions. If she isn't doing this, I would let her go and start recruiting again.

[Sparklingbrook]

If she's thirsty then a bottle of water will do the trick and no preparation time. A hot cuppa needs preparation and drinking slowly.
I can't think of many jobs where it would be acceptable to be making a cuppa every hour.

[campion]

Has she actually got any sort of qualification or experience with babies and toddlers?
Doesn't sound like it.
You might as well employ the next door neighbour - they'd probably have a bit more common sense!

Get rid and be a bit more thorough with your recruiting. If your gut is telling you something, always take notice.

[GlumyGloomer]

Scald injuries are horrific, slow healing, high infection risk and can cause permanent scarring. You are not over reacting.

[Thedogscollar]

@hauntedvagina

No hot drinks around children and babies is basic childcare 101. I'd be seriously questioning her credentials and what other risks she's prepared to take.

100% this. I'd be looking for another nanny. If she is like this with you there what will be going on when she is home alone so to speak

[Sparklingbrook]

I wonder how long she'll need for lunch?

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

@Bluntness100

Some weird responses on here, it’s totally normal to drink tea or coffee in your work place. The issue here is safety.

Op you need to speak to her about your concerns. It’s the only way to develop a good working relationship. Banning her from having tea or coffee is just ludicrous and she will start to look for another job.

10x/shift? To stop what you're doing and boil the kettle and make a hot drink? In a role where the job is to look after a 2-year-old and baby? She's on probation. That's when you're on your best behaviour.