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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think hairdresser shouldn't have done this?

92 replies

nancywhitehead · 03/05/2021 11:46

Had my hair done yesterday for the first time since lockdown. When I first went in the hairdresser was holding her phone up like she was taking a picture of me, I didn't say anything because I wasn't fully sure she was taking a picture or just checking her phone if you know what I mean?

But then once I'd had the colour done she stood there again behind me with her phone pointing at my head. I asked "are you taking a picture?" and she was like "yeah, don't worry, it's just the back of your head, it's just nice to be able to see the before and after you know?" She said it in a way that made me feel it would be really unreasonable to be uncomfortable with it, so I didn't say anything else.

But AIBU to think she shouldn't have taken my photo without asking me??? I was a bit shocked at the time so didn't say anything but now I'm a bit annoyed about it... I don't really want my pic posting on the hairdresser's facebook page even if it is just the back of my head? Confused

OP posts:
BlackCatShadow · 03/05/2021 12:35

The hairdresser should have asked first.

wishing3 · 03/05/2021 12:36

Surely GDPR + common courtesy mean she should have asked! I’d not mind if I’d been asked but would have found this rude.

Voomster953 · 03/05/2021 12:40

What would you have said if she had asked?

SunshineCake · 03/05/2021 12:42

Another example of women not standing up for themselves and it is horrible that a woman is happy to make another woman feel uncomfortable. You have a voice. Use it.

Londontown12 · 03/05/2021 12:43

I would always ask my clients permission and tell them it would be going on social Media xx

fakeplantsdontlookreal · 03/05/2021 12:44

My hair dresser often does "before and after", but especially at the moment, where people have several months worth of straggly outgrowing dyed hair being turned into something nice Grin. All their pictures are non identifying though.

She should have asked though, so YANBU there, but YABU as you should also have said, "I don't want my picture taken, and I don't want it on social media".

zafferana · 03/05/2021 12:45

She should've asked. My hairdresser once asked if she could put a photo of my hair on the salon's FB page and I said okay, but no way is it okay to take a picture of your hair without asking - for any purpose!

nokidshere · 03/05/2021 12:47

Another example of women not standing up for themselves and it is horrible that a woman is happy to make another woman feel uncomfortable. You have a voice. Use it.

How does the hairdresser know she is uncomfortable with it if she smiles and nods and doesn't say anything?

BiscoffAddict · 03/05/2021 12:51

I was over the moon when my hairdresser photographed my hair and put me on her Instagram! She did ask me if it ok first though.

1Morewineplease · 03/05/2021 12:51

Yes she should have asked and got your permission to post on social media, if that was intention.

rwalker · 03/05/2021 12:52

Due to the fact it's non idenifying and the picture could of be of anyone is proberly why she didn't ask.
The only mistake she made was not realise how precious you are.

If it was of your face that would be a completely different matter .

Amboseli · 03/05/2021 13:01

I would not want a photo of my hair, even if it's the back of my head on IG/FB etc etc.

My hairdresser doesn't do this, but I'm going on Thursday so will be forewarned in case she suddenly decides to start.

Exhausted4ever · 03/05/2021 13:02

I mean she should have asked first but how identifiable do you think the back of your head can be

NailsNeedDoing · 03/05/2021 13:10

She should have asked, your hairdresser was rude.

NoProblem123 · 03/05/2021 13:11

I get asked and demand full artistic license over how they are used.

My roots. My rules.

Teeshirt · 03/05/2021 13:14

Absolutely not acceptable. The hairdresser needs to ask first.

Thelnebriati · 03/05/2021 13:15

Its not being precious, the law says she has to obtain your permission first. A place of business is not public property.

Mummytemping · 03/05/2021 13:18

I’d be really unhappy about this. I’m not on social media for a reason.

mn81987 · 03/05/2021 13:19

@NoProblem123 🤣🤣🙄🙄
Just say no then instead of being a dickhead about it

Dreamer202 · 03/05/2021 13:19

I would be unhappy with this - no matter what the photo is for she should have course asked first!

Mummytemping · 03/05/2021 13:20

@nokidshere

Another example of women not standing up for themselves and it is horrible that a woman is happy to make another woman feel uncomfortable. You have a voice. Use it.

How does the hairdresser know she is uncomfortable with it if she smiles and nods and doesn't say anything?

It’s obviously a different level, but this is a consent issue. Anything less than a clear yea this is fine with me, is not consent. Women and girls being told they don’t get to say what happens to their bodies is a slippery and nasty slope.
SheldonesqueTheBstard · 03/05/2021 13:21

All the hairdressers round here have started doing this as far as I can see. There are some remarkable transformations.

However, I’d really want to be asked. I’m uglier than the inside of a 20 year old slipper and no one ever gets to snap me. Not even family.

I’d be deeply uncomfortable about it. I am already uncomfortable in a salon enough having to look at myself.

Blossomandbee · 03/05/2021 13:22

I agree they should ask. It's the thing they all seem to do now though. Last time I had my hair cut she asked for a photo, which I agreed to, but it later ended up on their Facebook page which I definitely didn't agree to.

MarjorieBouvier · 03/05/2021 13:24

I quite often have before/after photos (because of my hair type I expect), but have ALWAYS, without fail,been asked first.

DarkDarkNight · 03/05/2021 13:26

I would hate it. I don’t like having my picture taken even if it is the back of my head.

A lot of hairdressers are doing this now for Facebook and Insta but it’s really bad form not to ask permission.