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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this neighour should not have taken kid's ball

277 replies

junipertree2 · 03/05/2021 08:58

My sons were playing with a brand new football in our very small back garden yesterday when it bounced over the wall, down a path (our street is on a slope and we are the higher side) and came to rest on the opposite side of the street behind the back wheel of a neighbour's car. (The houses have no fences or gates.) Within about thirty seconds, he had raced out of his house and taken the ball.

Needless to say, my son who had just paid £17 for this ball was very upset and annoyed. AIBU to think that this man had no right to do this? He is a middle aged man who doesn't like children playing in front of his house, hates footballs and shouts a lot at boys in the street. But I am on my own and money is very tight.

OP posts:
Nith · 03/05/2021 17:58

I don't see what you have to lose by not asking for the ball back. You're not suggesting he's going to be violent towards you, are you? If he's unpleasant, just smile politely and ask again. If it's clear that he's not going to give it back, then walk away.

ChrissyPlummer · 03/05/2021 19:11

@junipertree2 well then the parents could take the kids to the park then?

Kids sports including dance, football and martial arts have all opened up here from 12 April. There’s a football club round the corner from us but parents instead seem to favour their kids playing in the road and dashing out between cars. Surely more neglectful than taking them to a safe place that’s designed for the sport with properly qualified coaches?

StoneofDestiny · 03/05/2021 19:29

Bizarre to think your child is safer playing between cars on a road than playing in the park. Let's not pretend parents are watching their kids out the window while they are on the street. It's lazy parenting.

Nanny0gg · 04/05/2021 08:03

@Jennifer2021

Yes *@Nanny0gg* it appears it is. If you also own your own home then shame on you! Wink
I'm sorry...😥

Should I give back my pension too? Then the OP could buy her DS a new football...

Weeedonkey · 04/05/2021 08:30

*Well, many parents don't like the idea of their kids going too far away, crossing roads etc. If anything bad happened that would be viewed as parental negligence. And if children play ball games in gardens, the ball goes over the fence and you have the same problem.

And haven't kids sports all been suspended? This is part of the problem at the moment.*

Go with your kids to the park then

Weeedonkey · 04/05/2021 08:33

”Most homeowners now seem 60+....and these are the people are kids have lost a year of their lives to protect."

You sound ageist and bitter. ‘Lost a year of their lives?’ We’ve all ‘lost’ a year of our lives, even the 60+ 🙄 or especially the 60+ as they were likely shielding more and kids were just, not going to school.

LakieLady · 04/05/2021 08:44

@junipertree2

I did not ask for it back as he is unpleasant to children (not just mine) and I don't want to be yelled at or abused, thanks.

A very sad day when two kids can't play with a ball in their own garden without having it taken by a grouch.

When I was a child, the street was full of children playing - rounders, football, cribby. and coincidentally, half of all children weren't overweight, obese, or hooked on video games. But that's a price worth paying for a quiet street, eh.

But it wasn't in their own garden, was it? It was over the wall and down the street.

Asking for a ball back is part of growing up and learning to be responsible. If he gets a bollocking, he'll take care never to do it again: actions, consequences etc. When I had neighbours with children, they soon learned not to let balls over the fence, because the dogs could destroy a ball in seconds.

And I agree that a small garden is no place for a game of football, especially with a heavy ball.

LakieLady · 04/05/2021 09:17

The ageism in this is awful.

OP, do you realise that someone who is 60 today won't get their pension until they're 67? Many over-60s will still be working, often in essential roles - emptying your bins, nursing sick people, stuff like that. They'll have worked throughout the pandemic, too, unless they were especially vulnerable.

Jennifer2021 · 04/05/2021 12:29

*Well, many parents don't like the idea of their kids going too far away, crossing roads etc. If anything bad happened that would be viewed as parental negligence. And if children play ball games in gardens, the ball goes over the fence and you have the same problem Hmm

If someone has enough spare time to stand and watch a ball roll down the hill to know exactly what house the ball went into they have enough time to go to the park with them!

Jennifer2021 · 04/05/2021 12:31

@Nanny0gg I think you have to buy them two balls and we'll let you off only giving them half of your pension. That will learn you Grin

IceSwallowCome · 04/05/2021 12:43

"I did not ask for it back as he is unpleasant to children (not just mine) and I don't want to be yelled at or abused, thanks."

In the unlikely event any of this actually happened, grow a spine and ask for the damn ball.

Iwantacookie · 04/05/2021 12:47

Wtf this is odd just go ask for the ball back. If he yells at you stay calm repeat you want the ball back, just keep repeating until you get it back.

Cheeseandlobster · 04/05/2021 13:01

My parents were you. They NEVER stood up for us. I remember a girl from school literally walking off with my favourite toy in front of me and my mum at the school gates and my mum said nothing. I was never taught to stand up for myself either and it took years of me learning the hard way. Don't be this parent. You are teaching your kids to be walked all over. Go over there and get their ball back!

Maggiesfarm · 04/05/2021 15:03

I get that 100%, Cheeseandlobster.

The neighbour may be annoyed by ball noises, op, no pun intended, but your children were playing in their garden and didn't intend for the ball to fly over the wall or fence and land by his car. Wow! One of them must have a fair old kick.

However you really must go and ask for the ball, for goodness sake don't be intimidated, the kids did nothing wrong. He is wrong for not returning it.

What will your children think of you if you won't do that for them? The ball cost £17, that's a lot of money to a child.

user1471538283 · 04/05/2021 16:27

I would go round there and get it back. Neighbours do my head in but I really dont mind getting balls, many many balls that have been kicked over the fence over the years.

My DS accidentally knocked peoples cars and we always went over, apologised and offered to pay for any damage.

PricklesAndSpikes · 04/05/2021 17:01

@junipertree2
Please come back and let us know if you got the ball back!

Annie2245 · 04/05/2021 17:30

Can you not just knock on the door and politely ask for it back ? It’s a bit judgey to assume he has taken it out of spite, unless it has happened before ? If not just go and ask for it back - not a big deal really !!

Saz12 · 04/05/2021 17:31

Just ask for the bloody ball!!! Maybe he’s cross that it hit his car, and wants to tell child/adult to use a softer ball, be more careful, and pay for the damage. That’s not being abusive. But if he DOES threaten you or abuse you then you always have the option to walk away.

cherish123 · 04/05/2021 17:36

Ask for it back

SoupDragon · 04/05/2021 17:39

The OP hasn't been back since yesterday morning. I don't think she's coming back.

KarmaStar · 04/05/2021 17:43

Can't understand why you haven't asked for it back? It's theft.go and get it.

Bluntness100 · 04/05/2021 17:47

@SoupDragon

The OP hasn't been back since yesterday morning. I don't think she's coming back.
Nope, not coming here and not going there to get the ball either.

🤦🏻‍♀️

VienneseWhirligig · 04/05/2021 17:48

Bloody hell woman, grow up and ask for the bloody ball.

CharlotteRose90 · 04/05/2021 17:52

Grow up, go round and apologise and ask for the ball back. Take your kid to the park instead of letting them play in the garden and potentially let him hit people’s cars or properties. As for the old people comment have some bloody respect it’s actually not down to old people that we’ve had to isolate. It’s actually everyone that has been protected but feel free to blame the old and vulnerable you hypocrite.

Anydreamwilldo12 · 04/05/2021 17:57

Get your big girl knickers on and ask for the ball back. So what if he's an angry git. At least show your not a pushover.