Have I turned into that dog owner...child...”bite”

[Puppalicious]

I always thought it shocking the way some dog owners excused/minimised bites on children, or tried to . In my eyes dogs are way below children in the priority list, but an incident happened yesterday evening and I wondered am I now doing the minimising?
I was at my eldest’s football training yesterday, for most of the session I was at the far reaches of the (small) park as was managing two youngest and my 15 week old puppy. When, close to the end, my DH came we moved closer to the touchline to watch eldest as he could grab the two younger if need be while I managed the puppy who was getting overtired and a bit jumpy and mouthy at this stage. I had her on a tight leash to stop her jumping at my toddler.
Then a girl came flying over and grabbed the puppy in a bear hug around the neck, I gently indicated to her to let go and heard her mother about to her to ask first, then her brother barrelled in and puppy jumped up him in excitement with her mouth open (she adores children). Her tooth must have caught him because he shouted (although not looking v upset) “ah she bit me!”, at which his mum shouted “well that will teach you!” In the moment I was so horrified at how quickly/easily my puppy had been accused of a child bite that I didn’t think to yell over an apology or check on the child at all. I was more worried about my puppy being accused of a child bite. WIBU to be more horrified that my puppy was accused by a child of biting when I didn’t think she bit really at all, than worried about the child? Have I turned into a minimising dog owner? And what’s the etiquette, should I have been full of profuse apologies?

I always tell my children to give unknown dogs a wide berth. They sometimes get teased by dog owners for being nervous of dogs or I get an eye roll for being a neurotic mother. I actually like dogs but I have been bitten by one so I think it is much better to stay away. I think it is easier for the dog as well.

Unfortunately people don't act appropriately around dogs. I've been accused of being unfriendly towards kids because I won't let them maul my dog but he's not keen on children since an incidence similar to you describing @Puppalicious as a puppy when the little boy then hit him.

I've been bitten by my dog (eg trying to remove chicken bones he snaffled on the pavement) and you really know about it!

@sunflowersandbuttercups that’s what I was trying to say in a less succinct way. I don’t think people understand how much a tiny puppy can handle. Having it on a tight leash whilst all that was happening must’ve been quite overwhelming. I think if it’s something they do regularly then yes take pup bring out to watch at a distance then return to car. I feed my puppy kibble in situations which are new keep a distance then retreat to car or house or crate sooner if signs of being unhappy.

I'm massively massively undoggy. I was also bitten by the family dog as a teen. I am not team dog

This wasn't your dogs fault.

No child should be hugging your dog without your permission. If children see other kids do it they will think they can.

I think the Mother’s reaction was perfect really. She’d asked them to stop, as had you but they didn’t listen and so your puppy caught them. Doesn’t sound like a bite really, I wouldn’t lose any sleep.

@FourTeaFallOut

As I stated I have a child who would do exactly this. This means that we look around to see if there is a dog, and act before he could reach them. Why on earth do I need to 'give over? If the children are old enough to be away from the mother/father then they should know by now how to act around dogs. If they are younger (like my ds who is 2) then the parent should be close enough to the child to stop them doing something like this. Can you not see how serious it could have been? If the child had grabbed the wrong dog like that they could have been mauled.

Yes - waiting until the puppy is tired and overwhelmed means you've left it too long.

I think it's an easy mistake to make, though. Many people think socialisation is taking them everywhere all the time and that's just not the case at all.

Expose them something scary during that period and you can have a dog that's fearful or reactive for life.

Sorry, that last post was in response to @Crappyfridays7

You seem to have a bee in your bonnet about being accused of your dog biting. A small kid said "oh he bit me" which you called an "allegation", which just seems a bit OTT.
If my toddler hit another child and the kid said "he hit me" that wouldn't be an "allegation of assault".
The kids in this situation were in the wrong, but so were you by not being firmer and removing your dog from the situation. But nobody was making allegations about you or your dog. It was just unfortunate.

YANBU poor puppy being charged at as well

I put yabu as in yabu to say you had become’one of those ‘ dog owners. No you haven’t! Children need to know not to hug any dog! Your puppy didn’t bite- the child wouldn’t know that it’s tooth caught him by accident- it’s the type of thing a child says and the mum made a point to her son that he must never just go up to a dog like that! The only thing you could have done is said that puppies have very sharp teeth and that it wasn’t biting him and to please leave him alone-but it’s easier to think of these things in hindsight.please don’t worry about it.

I cannot stand dog owners shouting ‘It’s ok, they’re friendly!’ as their dog comes bounding over. The entitlement of some dog owners is baffling BUT that wasn’t the case here. Absolutely the child’s fault and the parents to an extent. Don’t worry!

I certainly wouldn't have been gently advising her to let go, she would have got a bollocking from me and yes, both children deserved to get bitten in those circumstances, although it doesn't actually sound like a true bite from what you've said.

I was expecting to read that the mother had had a go at you accusing your dog of biting her child. That clearly didn’t happen. Her kids did something they shouldn’t. Boy got caught by teeth. Mother reacted in exactly the way I would have done and I suspect she’ll use it as a learning experience for the kids: “this is why we never go up to dogs without asking first”.

I don’t think you should be wound up about a young kid “accusing” your dog of biting him. He exaggerated. My son said the same thing when we had our neighbour’s puppy over and his teeth caught my son’s hand when playing. I firmly told my son that he hasn’t been bitten and that he should be careful near the puppy’s face because the teeth are sharp.

Yeah I would have not been overly polite to the kids. I tell approaches that they will not touch the dog unless they come with their parent calmly. If they try to carry on I move the dog and repeat. I have had lots of dogs so have met many dog owning arses and crazy kids - just avoid it always ends badly and there are loads of lovely owners and polite children.

I don't know what 'being mouthy' means in dog terms, as I've never had dogs. So no, people don't know or expect that.

Young kids can be idiots around dogs, especially cute puppies, even when their parents have told them to keep away, so I think you need to keep a big, big distance between them. It's a bit like taking a big, open bag of sweets, or an ice-cream van to the edge of the pitch and expecting kids not to approach and pester. Placing cute temptation there, it just becomes a race between you and the parent, to catch and remove your young creature.

Ok, I’m relaxing now, it’s likely that the other mother understood that I didn’t have some fierce child biting dog.
For most of the session we were quite far from the training session as said ( we were asked to drop and go, and there was no cheering or anything like that), I had kibble and it was within her comfort zone - she’s used to running kids and balls. She did get overtired at the end, point noted that I could have removed her to the car at that stage.
I do worry a lot about doing socialisation wrong and flooding - we live on a busy road which she isn’t a fan of but I have to take her on it to get anywhere (my DH always has the car). I really hope I’m not damaging her but I don’t know what to do ☹️. She copes much better with it when she’s with my children. Tbh, she much prefers a park with children to that road! But not necessarily with them grabbing her and being more assertive is definitely the lesson I’m taking from this.

sounds like it was the children out of control, not your puppy .

@CuriousaboutSamphire - I've recently met a beautiful bull terrier in the park on my way home from work, so I see him several times a week. Very generous 'mum' who lets me join in with ball games .

He does seem inexhaustible, so maybe she likes the opportunity to rest a bit.

Then a girl came flying over and grabbed the puppy in a bear hug around the neck, I gently indicated to her to let go and heard her mother about to her to ask first, then her brother barrelled in and puppy jumped up him in excitement with her mouth open (she adores children). Her tooth must have caught him because he shouted (although not looking v upset) “ah she bit me!”

Yes, you are ‘that dog owner’, as you didn’t have required control to stop the little girl let alone the little boy who followed. Were you not watching? Or just let it happen. Good dog owners would have been on the ball and intercepted between first child and dog, let alone second child and dog. Then to minimise it all and make out none of this was in your control ....

My dog is terrified of small children after a neighbour used to let her daughter (regardless of me repeatedly asking her to leave him be) harrass/scream excitedly at him him through the fence when he was a pup......if he sees a child now he runs in the opposite direction. Such a shame

A responsible child-owner wouldn't let them off the leash until their recall was reliable.

(tongue firmly in cheek)

@DogInATent, my toddler would never be free😬 the puppy is definitely the more trainable of the two!

‘Mouthing’ - is that not biting with a softer name? I know nothing about dogs and I dislike the way they are taken everywhere theses days as if they are extra humans and I wouldn’t approach a dog, but I’d have no idea if I’d been bitten or ‘mouthed’ - what’s the difference?

No, I didn’t know about puppies ‘mouthing’ (not a dog owner). I would have been fairly terrified! But I wouldn’t let my children approach strange dogs either.

the mum was right to say it was the child's fault