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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SIL and benefits fraud - WWYD

152 replies

grabzyy · 29/04/2021 13:36

I know IABU for not minding my own business but this is really bugging me and I don't think it's fair. SIL and I get on quite well, she tells me a lot about her private life and I've always been there to listen and help as much as I can. About 2 months ago, she told me that her boyfriend has moved in with her so they can save money for a house deposit. She said she hasn't told UC because her payments would be affected as a result of how much he earns and they can't afford to not save the extra money. I told her that I'm sure she can get in trouble and get a fine if they find out and she said they're 'just seeing how things go and if it works out first'. I'm really annoyed about this because I feel like it's benefit fraud and she shouldn't be lying to them regardless of how much her payments will be affected but at the same time I also don't want her to get in trouble. What would you do?

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 29/04/2021 17:02

@Babyroobs

Op, not sure if you claim UC yourself but do you realize we are talking about hundreds of pounds or possibly over a thousand each month ( depending whether your sil works )that is being fraudulently claimed ? The issue really is that if/ when she gets caught ( and she will ), the longer it has gone on at this level of fraud the worse the consequences for her are going to be and it will be her that suffers the consequences not her bf because she is the one with the claim in her name. I think you really need to appeal to her to stop doing this, perhaps express her concern for her and her children if she gets caught ??
your concern
crowsfeet57 · 29/04/2021 17:04

You won't need to report her. They'll find out. They get RTI from the Inland revenue.

Annamarieblue · 29/04/2021 17:10

This makes me so angry op, I'm working hard and getting uc to help top up my wages and im having to go to foods banks to eat or ill starve. Why should she be living comfortably having her cake and eating it and saving for a house deposit? I bet she don't go to food banks? Disgusting cheat.

SummerBreeze1980 · 29/04/2021 17:10

@rainbowthoughts - I advocate keeping things stable for children. It is a better plan than plunging them into poverty while months/years is spent trying to sort Universal credit. Would you really risk your children's stability like that?

rainbowthoughts · 29/04/2021 17:21

[quote SummerBreeze1980]@rainbowthoughts - I advocate keeping things stable for children. It is a better plan than plunging them into poverty while months/years is spent trying to sort Universal credit. Would you really risk your children's stability like that?[/quote]

It's interesting that you are using 'stability' as a defence here. A conviction for fraud would rock the stable boat a little, don't you think?

On a personal level, since you ask, no. Of course I would not comment benefit fraud while I tested a relationship.

PatrickBatemann · 29/04/2021 17:23

@SofiaMichelle

Your SIL and partner are scum. No better than fucking burglars or muggers.

I utterly detest cheating scammers. I would report like shot and never speak to her ever again.

She should be prosecuted along with her scummy partner.

Nothing really to do with her partner though. He isn't the one with a claim.
fluffysocks89 · 29/04/2021 17:36

Situations like this is why income tax increases

No it isn’t. Shock

SummerBreeze1980 · 29/04/2021 17:38

@rainbowthoughts - I'll just assume you have no experience of this and leave it at that. The chances of her getting thrown in prison for the sake of a few weeks making sure she isn't going to be left high and dry is slim to none. It takes many months to get even the simplest question answered by UC not sure they've got the spare staff to be spying on every single benefit claimant. If the relationship doesn't work it is a guarantee the children will be put into poverty for many months and years to come. In life you have to way up the odds. And yes, my children being able to eat and have a roof over their head would win every time.

Babyroobs · 29/04/2021 17:41

[quote SummerBreeze1980]**@rainbowthoughts* - I'll just assume you have no experience of this and leave it at that. The chances of her getting thrown in prison for the sake of a few weeks making sure she isn't going to be left high and dry is slim to none. It takes many months to get even the simplest question answered by UC not sure they've got the spare staff to be spying on every single benefit claimant. If the relationship doesn't work it is a guarantee* the children will be put into poverty for many months and years to come. In life you have to way up the odds. And yes, my children being able to eat and have a roof over their head would win every time.[/quote]
A few weeks ? They have a two and a half year old child together??

fluffysocks89 · 29/04/2021 17:42

@Annamarieblue

This makes me so angry op, I'm working hard and getting uc to help top up my wages and im having to go to foods banks to eat or ill starve. Why should she be living comfortably having her cake and eating it and saving for a house deposit? I bet she don't go to food banks? Disgusting cheat.
I’d be outraged at the government before anyone else. You’re working hard but have to use food banks to eat. Outrageous.......To me, a government that allows such poverty because of their policies are the criminals.
Planttrees · 29/04/2021 17:48

It is benefit fraud so I would want nothing to do with anyone who did this. She needs to be honest or she risks facing serious consequences.

Tambora · 29/04/2021 17:51

[quote grabzyy]@Tambora that's terrible, I'm sorry to hear that. [/quote]
ExH's mate's girlfriend so I didn't know her all that well. It just goes to show though, that they do take this really seriously. It had a bad effect on her credit score too, as they found out when they tried to get a mortgage.

SummerBreeze1980 · 29/04/2021 17:52

@Babyroobs - I made my comment that @rainbowthoughts has been pushing me on before we knew that. The situation initially sounded quite precarious and in that situation I would put home and food for my DC first.

idrinkchocolatemilk · 29/04/2021 17:54

Your loyalty is fucked up. Please tell me how this affects you? It doesn’t does it your just being a pathetic little busy body. Who needs enemy’s ay!

SummerBreeze1980 · 29/04/2021 17:57

@fluffysocks89 - quite agree. It's frightening how much has become 'normal' in a generation. Food banks in one of the world's richest countries no one bats an eyelid. Mega rich and corporations not paying tax...oh well. But some poor family puts a foot wrong trying to navigate through the benefit system and some people are looking for blood!

Milkywaystars · 29/04/2021 17:58

This is not a casual relationship as they have a baby together & your SIL is on MAT leave. So your sils 'seeing how it goes comment' doesn't apply here as why have a baby if you're not sure of your relationship. They're very sure they're relationship as that's why they've planned a baby after 2 years. Send her this and keep out of it now as she's committed a criminal offence and she will be caught eventually.

www.gov.uk/report-benefits-change-circumstances

rainbowthoughts · 29/04/2021 18:13

[quote SummerBreeze1980]**@Babyroobs* - I made my comment that @rainbowthoughts* has been pushing me on before we knew that. The situation initially sounded quite precarious and in that situation I would put home and food for my DC first.[/quote]

Pushing? What do you mean?

You said it was acceptable to commit benefit fraud when you move a partner in just in case it doesn't work out. That's ridiculous

Annamarieblue · 29/04/2021 18:39

@fluffysocks89 yes I agree it's the government's fault here, but people like this cheating the system and living a life of luxury and being able to eat winds me up. While I'm at home starving eating beans on toast for a week.

fluffysocks89 · 29/04/2021 19:02

I’m outraged on your behalf Annamarieblue.

RaininSummer · 29/04/2021 19:03

She's playing with fire and taking the mickey I think. This man isnt a new boyfriend but the father of one of the children. They need to claim as a couple or close the claim. She will get caught otherwise.

MintyMabel · 29/04/2021 19:30

I think the system is shit that if you move in you immediately have to declare it, leaving women (most often) financially dependent on a partner as the benefits fall off a cliff edge. People shouldn’t have to choose in that way. It would be much better if, say, a year’s grace period was given. Moving in together isn’t the lifelong commitment the government seems to think it is.

rainbowthoughts · 29/04/2021 19:31

@MintyMabel

I think the system is shit that if you move in you immediately have to declare it, leaving women (most often) financially dependent on a partner as the benefits fall off a cliff edge. People shouldn’t have to choose in that way. It would be much better if, say, a year’s grace period was given. Moving in together isn’t the lifelong commitment the government seems to think it is.

You think the government should overpay benefits for a YEAR while women decide what they want Confused

winched · 29/04/2021 23:02

i would report anyone I knew was committing benefit fraud. There is only so much money too go around. If people cheat the system if could take money from people who really need it.

That there is "only so much money to go around" is a complete fairy story, though. Money isn't real. The bank can, and does, create as much money as it wants to, and as much money as people are willing to borrow. Because it all, eventually, ends up back in a bank.

The fact that you seem to genuinely believe the people who are cheating the system are taking money from people who need it (or anywhere, really!) shows just how much successive governments have done a number on the general population. The budget of a country is not like the budget of a household. They don't have to rob Peter (nhs) to Pay paul (benefits) until Pauline gives them the twenty quid she owes them (taxes). That idea was literally invented to sell austerity to the turkeys and make them want to vote for Christmas.

As I said in a previous post I don't like people who commit any type of fraud, and I think that's a perfectly valid opinion to have. But can we please stop pretending this country is running the same way as one family household? Where if Dad spends the last £10 in the pub, Mum is short on the shopping? It's not Angela's Ashes. I was sure the coronavirus pandemic would have proved to most people that Mum has a blank chequebook.

AND perhaps the most important point, at least that £10 Dad stole is going straight back into the economy to be circulated again and stimulate growth. We should be far more concerned about rich Uncle Richard who has all of his money stashed under the mattress (and is probably fiddling his taxes too).

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/04/2021 12:40

I'd probably give it 6m. At 5m I would probably have a stern conversation and say "do you realise you are committing fraud?report the change yourself before you get caught and punished for lying about it".

I would probably go to town on saying the government can tell from bank accounts when this stuff is happening and really drive home the high likelihood of getting caught.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/04/2021 12:43

Winched while you make sense that money is effectively infinite, you arent taking into account that the government still has to pay for it via interest, and how they manage it is inflation. It can hammer the poor if the government "print money" by buying assets as asset values (mainly owned by the rich) go up, while salaries often don't keep pace despite cost of living rising.

This sort of fraud does cost Joe public, eventually.

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