Baby / toddler groups are hell ?

[sausagedogg]

With lockdown easing I was looking forward to getting to a toddler group with my 2 year old . I must have had rose tinted glasses on as after attending this morning all I can think is that's 40 minutes of my life I won't get back. Reasons I found it dire :

• trying to keep a toddler fixed to their mat ( covid ) when all they want to do is roam the room.
• putting a mask on to roam the room to try being them back to their spot but then they can't hear you properly due to muffled mask sounds .
• no one really talking to anyone( even in between songs ) just singing along to the music like they were really enjoying it when I really didn't find it enjoyable .
• all the mums doing baby voices

Maybe I'm just not cut out for part time work. I have 3 days off with little one in the week and can't stand the thought of baby groups again. Back to the walks I go.

Anyone else find them hellish?

To top it off due to the timing of the class little one only had 5 minutes nap in the car

[RoseMartha]

I would look for an alternative one in my area.

[cadburyegg]

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

but don’t be that person in 3 years time complaining at the school gates that you don’t know anyone there either because I’ve seen that too

Why is not knowing anyone at the school gates a problem?

I didn’t say it was a problem. But some people complain about “cliqueyness” at the school gates too. No, it’s just people talking to their mates!

[TheGoogleMum]

I have been going to one recently. DD has enjoyed it but I didnt talk to other parents much though so it was all for her really. Luckily no mats to stay on. I agree that timings can be annoying, I wouldn't book anything that could intefere with nap time!

[Susannahmoody]

No way will they sit still on a mat

[Susannahmoody]

Used to go to one at a trampoline centre, 9-10am, Saturday morning, under 6's only. Cost around a fiver per kid. Brilliant because you can sit and chill/wave at them and they're exhausted afterwards.

[FlyNow]

I don't like them either, except for toddler ones that involve running around (messy playgroups, outdoor playgroups, trampoline sessions). So I don't go.

You know you don't have to go, right? It's a bit silly to go, then complain about how you are sooo much smarter than everyone else there, after all you have a career and want to talk about intelligent things but looking around you could tell they were all dumb women who only talk in baby talk. Guarantee they were all intelligent women as well, their kid just happens to like the class and it fits their schedule. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

[GreenSlide]

Oh I hated them. The ones I went to were always full of childminders who just wanted to ignore the kids and gossip with the other cms for 2 hours. I went to one in a church hall and everyone had to sit around singing Jesus songs and say a prayer 😬

[Englishgirl9]

I think it's just finding the right class for you. I don't enjoy the singing / cringe ones but we both love swim classes, soft play class, baby social (the children just play with toys and the adults chat), and messy play classes.

It's also great for making mum friends. I think everyone there is in the same boat and wants to make friends but people feel a bit awkward or shy. I just go for it and chat to the person next to me and if I think I'd like them I am quite forward asking their number and arranging an outdoor play date.

[Allmyarseandpeggymartin]

Sounds like a ball ache op, especially with the mat and mask combo. Baby groups do seem to attract the worst people in terms of performance parenting too.

I went to one on my day off when DC was a baby, it got me out of the house which made me feel better and tired DC out but other than that not sure we got any benefit from it?

[Lullaby88]

I used to take my daughter precovid and i found them rubbish tbh. Only went for my daughters development tbh. But she did so many more better things with me at home. The babies couldnt interact anyway and it was just a bunch of tired Mums all singing in high pitched voices and loud babies. Never enjoyed it at all. Met a couple of nice Mums and thats it.

[sausagedogg]

@FlyNow I absolutely didn't say that I was smarter than them . I said I had a career ish if you read my other posts that was in response to how I may benefit from a weekend class and choose to work more days in the week instead as currently I chose to spend a lot of weekends working to have time in the week and I can miss family time at weekends . I don't think I'm smarter than them at all I didn't associate the baby voices with intelligence it was more the performance parenting and over the top . You have drawn some wild assumptions from my post .

[sausagedogg]

@FlyNow

How rude I did not say this - "you have a career and want to talk about intelligent things but looking around you could tell they were all dumb women who only talk in baby talk"

[Cocolemon]

The post covid ones sound like hell if kids have to stay on a mat.

I've been to many over the years and some have been brilliant.

There was a lovely church one I recommended to a friend. Lots of elderly volunteers who I enjoyed chatting to about all sorts of things, friendly mum's, loads of toys, good snacks. By the time I arrived 10minutes after she had arrived the group for the first time, she'd already had a run in with a group of mums. It was a totally different dynamic to the group I'd never experienced, so I can believe it happens. Once you know someone a bit the conversation gets more interesting.

I've also been on sling walks, baby cinema, mother and baby yoga, postnatal exercise class. All great with babies and more adult focused.

Once the toddler years arrive those activities get harder and letting them charge around a church hall can be a good option. Also toddler gymnastics and forest school.

[Onedropbeat]

I hated them when my now 4 year old was little, he didn’t seem to get much out of them either so I couldn’t see why I’d put myself through that

I’ve no idea what kind of person might enjoy that sort of thing

Second child came along last year and having no baby groups was a blessing

[Coachee]

I work four days a week and as much as I adore my daughter, could only manage one day a week of groups etc.

The best group we’ve ever been to is an outdoor forest school. Even now during Covid, being outside means it’s a lot more relaxed. My daughter loves it and on sunny days neither of us want to leave (although we have also had a few wet and cold sessions that have required a degree of stoicism and good waterproofs too).

[Duggeehugs82]

I go to a few in the week, covid has completely changed the dynamics of them, its all about sitting on on your mat and staying there, something a 2 year old doesnt want to do and not natural. I really enjoyed them before covid not so much now but i can be super lonely and pleased they break up day

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

[quote sausagedogg]@FlyNow

How rude I did not say this - "you have a career and want to talk about intelligent things but looking around you could tell they were all dumb women who only talk in baby talk"

[/quote]
I sense a chip on the shoulder, OP! Its obvious you didnt mean that.

[89redballoons]

I've been taking DS (one and a half) to a music one and it's actually been pretty good for him. The first time we went he just wanted to run around, but we've been four or five times now and he's getting much more into joining in with some of the music and the actions now. I am very pleasantly surprised and we've booked in for the next three weeks.

The one we go to is outside under a gazebo thing in a pub garden so no masks. We are meant to stay on our mat though and parents aren't meant to sing along though because apparently that is what makes it a superspreader event in reality the bigger ones do run around a bit and because it's outside people are fairly relaxed.

I don't really think I'm going to make friends for life there or anything but it's nice to have a bit of adult conversation and to see other babies the same age as my DS - obviously not done that much during lockdown.

I have no idea why anyone runs a group aimed at young toddlers at lunchtime, though. Surely they all nap then? Our group is at 10.30am which works pretty well for us, as by the time we get back it's 11.30am so time for a quick lunch and then nap.

[SatsumaFan]

@Onedropbeat

I hated them when my now 4 year old was little, he didn’t seem to get much out of them either so I couldn’t see why I’d put myself through that

I’ve no idea what kind of person might enjoy that sort of thing

Second child came along last year and having no baby groups was a blessing

No idea what sort of person might enjoy that sort of thing? I'll give you some ideas...

A lonely sahm who wants an hour with not just her child/ren for conversation and company. She might enjoy singing, or just having someone else hold the baby for ten minutes (pre Covid) whilst she drinks a hot drink she didn't make.

A new parent who would like to chat to other, possibly more experienced parents, to bounce ideas and thoughts off, get helpful tips and guidance.

Someone who is looking to help their pre-school dc make friends ready to start Reception soon. Not all babies and toddlers go to nursery or preschool for a variety of reasons.

Someone who is struggling with their mental health and is climbing the walls on a rainy day, and just wants to know he/she is not alone.

Someone who is extroverted and enjoys meeting new local people to make connections with and have a laugh.

Someone who loves giving back to their community by volunteering their time to help out, whether by setting up/packing away, helping with crafts and refreshments. They get a buzz out of being useful.

Someone who can't afford the private classes and finds them cliquey.

Someone who doesn't drive so can only walk to their village hall.

The list goes on...

[cookiecreampie]

I don't mind them and have taken my kids to the same one over the years. I think I had a preconceived idea that they were either cliquey or I was going to find a best friend there. In reality, I found that some mums were chatty, some didn't really talk and that was fine. My kids enjoyed letting off steam and mixing with other kids their own age so it is something I tolerated even though I found it tedious sometimes.

[PerspicaciousGreen]

@GreenSlide

Oh I hated them. The ones I went to were always full of childminders who just wanted to ignore the kids and gossip with the other cms for 2 hours. I went to one in a church hall and everyone had to sit around singing Jesus songs and say a prayer 😬

I'm always a bit at people who think it's outrageous that churches mention religion. That's what they're for!

[cookiecreampie]

The church ones I've been to haven't been religious. They just use the hall for the playgroup. No mention of God and people of all religions are welcome.

[sausagedogg]

@Letsallscreamatthesistene absolutely not.

[sausagedogg]

@Letsallscreamatthesistene absolutely no chip . The ladies all seemed a lot more affluent than me I just found the intense baby talk annoying. I thought maybe more people would talk to each other that's all

[sausagedogg]

Thanks for all replies I went to a different group today and really enjoyed it . It was dance / music . It was nice to join in and we could move freely around the room. Also got to have a little chat with one of the mums it was a very small group but I really enjoyed it this morning . I honestly didn't think I was better than any of the mums yesterday I just felt off in the set up . Confined to Mats, baby talk, no mums really talking to each other . It was better today.