Mother offering to pay for Weight Watchers for me

[Wejustliveinayellowsubmarine]

First time I’ve seen my parents in months because of the lockdowns we’ve had and one of the first things they did was prod my tummy and say “what’s this?” Bearing in mind I’ve been extremely stressed with a 2 year old at home for the best part of a year. I’ve been trying to eat lower carb, but my hormones make me bloated too and I do struggle with exercise on my own, I lack motivation and I just dislike it generally.
They’ve always gone on about my weight, especially since I moved out and can make my own meals etc. They constantly compare me now to when I was a pre teen and teenager and very slim.

Anyway, my mum has offered to pay for weight watchers for me. Am I right to be really offended?

I actually thought both of them looked fatter than when I last saw them too, but I didn’t say anything because I felt it was impolite and unnecessary.

What utter bitches. Ignore and rise above.

I see your mum has popped on to vote YABU.

Well do you want to lose weight and if so do you want to use WW? If so take her up on it. If not don't.

Your mum cares about you and knows that your life will be better if you are healthy and aren't overweight.
She is trying to help in a practical way.

"Why? Have they offered you a free membership with your one?"

It sounds like you've been trying to lose weight by eating lower carb.
Try not to be upset by their comments.
If you are struggling with motivation, perhaps you might decide to take up the offer.
Sleep on it. Sometimes people show concern badly.
As a disclaimer I have no idea of your size, but an expectation of a teenage pre-baby body from them is likely not realistic.
Best of luck.

rude

I would be upset too, very tactless

However I expect it comes from a place of love and wanting you to be healthy and well.

I would probably say ok, I’ll pay for yours as you’ve piled on some lockdown pounds too, when do we start?

It’s rude to poke you in the belly and comment, had previously you mentioned you couldn’t afford WW but wanted to go? (Clutching at straws)

YANBU that is very rude.

Close family often think it's ok to 'be honest' about these things.

It's really not.

If my DM or DP poked me in the stomach like that and made those comments I'd push them out of my front door and slam it shut on them.

It's rude, but if she's anything like my mum then it probably comes from anxiety over your health. My mum is constantly asking me what we should do about my sister that has gained quite a lot of weight over the last few years. I'm quite happy to tell her to mind her own business and leave DSis alone mind you. Don't be afraid to tell her where to go! You'll lose weight if/when you're ready.

• I mean DM and DDad

Tell them to fuck off and then eat them

I would be so furious.

My mum tried to tell me to reduce my sugar intake because I'd put on too much weight, 8 months pregnant. She lives overseas and was basing on just one photo (a happy photo of me in a tough pregnancy). I cried for three days and never wore that dress again, and then called and shouted at her for ages. She was profusely apologetic and has never commented again

How much do you weigh? Do you think they’re genuinely worried about your health or are you just slightly overweight and they’re being judgey?

If I was you I’d take it but tell them they should get one for themselves too!

Does she know that you have been trying to lose weight and not succeeding? I can see how she might think she is in a position of being able to straight talk with you and is offering you something she thinks you want (and maybe from a health perspective could really benefit from).

However, all that said, YANBU and it sounds like if her suggestion came from a good place then it was thoughtless and tactless; if it didn’t come from a good place then it was just rude and unkind.

Take the money, spend it on chips.

I think there's two different things going on here:

1. Concern for your health and wanting to help you. Reasonable.
2. Humiliating you by poking at your body like you're a piece of meat, and acting as if your weight is the most important thing about you. Totally unacceptable.

This is 100% the sort of thing my DM would do (except she wouldn't offer to pay). She's significantly bigger than I am. As I've got older I've rationalised it by telling myself that it comes from a place of love, but it's been quite destructive being critiqued about my weight every time I see her, and it has contributed to my disordered relationship with food.

YANBU.

A few years ago one of my friends lost 4st with slimming world. She found she was not hungry on it. Kept her syns for say a nice sauce on her dinner and chocolate every day.

She tried weight watchers before but she was hungry on it.
I know that this year has been hard for so many people.
The one thing I would say to you that a lot of people find a low carb diet hard to live with.
You also need to decide that you want to lose weight and no one can make you this. Most people are never going to be as skinny as they were as teenagers.

Rude and unacceptable. Fight back! Tell them you’ve noticed they’ve put on lockdown weight too and should spend the money on weight watchers for themselves.

take the money. buy cake. send her a thank you selfie.

Yanbu at all for being offended.

Only you know your family, but in my case I got it from them when I put weight on for a while, then when I lost it because I was too thin, then when illness made me bloat a bit I was too fat again (seriously a small amount of bloat that hadn't changed my clothes size but was in my stomach area). Mine just want a rod to beat people with, but yours may actually care but are really shit at it.

No excuse for that kind of insensitivity. With family like that who needs enemies.

Weight is just a number and doesn’t define you. Eat well to make you feel well but don’t chase a number. Find activity you do enjoy and do it feel good. Doesn’t matter if you lose weight or not, you’ll just feel better.

YANBU for sure!