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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to have hairy legs this summer?

212 replies

Franklyfrost · 27/04/2021 14:37

I’m busy and don’t want to shave or wax my legs this summer but I do want to wear floaty dresses, short shorts and sparkly sandals.

My legs aren’t very hairy, just long thin patchy mangey hair from below knee an ankle. It would look better if I had a luscious thick black pelt.

Should I sod it and keep the hair or would it turn your stomach? I don’t want to scare small children or have people think I’m unkempt or dirty. But also I don’t want to act as if I’m ashamed of my leg hair (even if I am).

OP posts:

SmileyClare · 27/04/2021 19:12

I don't think it's taboo as such to wear pretty clothes and hairy legs. I personally think my legs look prettier shaved and moisturised ; it makes my skin look smoother and reflect the light which is more flattering.
If I'm going to make an effort to look good, then I'd include shaving my legs, as much as putting on lipstick, brushing my hair or teeth.

I wouldn't avoid shaving my legs to make a point about societal expectations.

Alittlebitlostrightnow · 27/04/2021 19:22

Thanks OP. It wouldn’t be you who was offending me though...it would be my problem. There’s really nothing to be grossed out about. I don’t even understand my own reaction . It’s bizarre how women judge each other isn’t it. We need to stop.

the80sweregreat · 27/04/2021 19:35

I can remember a photo that showed a beautiful Swedish model with her leg hair quite prominent modeling trainers ( I think it was trainers ) and it just didn't look that great. I know it's a personal choice and I shouldn't judge anyone as it's nothing at all to do with me, but I just hate it when my own legs are hairy or dry and I suppose I've been conditioned to only like hair free legs and pits over the years, which I know is sad. The people selling the products to stop hair growth have done a number on me I know it.
Men don't have any of these problems or hang ups ( unless they want to have it waxed off!)

KatherineJaneway · 27/04/2021 19:41

I don't like body hair on me so choose to remove it. On me I find it unfeminine and unattractive.

I wouldn't ever comment or stare at someone who had hairy legs and pits but I suspect some people would and MN is not representative when it comes to hair removal.

SmileyClare · 27/04/2021 19:45

Men don't have any of these hang ups

Well my very hairy husband doesn't but I'd say younger men do feel pressure to wax or shave back and chest hair these days.

the80sweregreat · 27/04/2021 19:49

I know some men like to wax etc but mostly they can choose. If you see a hairy man on a beach or in the pool or whatever it's not judged the same as a woman might be ( not by me, but other men and women probably would do)
Its just another stick to beat us with !

Andylion · 27/04/2021 19:54

It definitely takes me no more than 2 minutes.

Same here.
OP, shave, don't shave, it's entirely up to you.

MeadowHay · 27/04/2021 20:05

I put YANBU because I don't think anyone should feel pressure to remove hair and you can do what you like. I unfortunately have a huge hang up about it myself and I hate it. I have light olive coloured skin with loads of very dark, very thick hair. I'm absolutely paranoid about my legs being even vaguely stubbly or the odd armpit hair. I hate hate hate it but I've internalised all this hate about my body in its natural form, it's really sad. I wish I was brave enough to go out with more hair. Especially as hair removal takes me ages because I have poor motor skills due to autism, and I also get eczema from shaving. Not to mention the associated costs. DH isn't bothered ofc and encourages me to leave off on hair removal if anything because he knows how much of a nuisance it can be for me. but it doesn't make me any more confident. I'm so scared of passing on my hang ups to my DD too when she gets older, although she seems to have the 'benefit' of much lighter and much thinner hair than me, but also seems to be very hairy like me all the same.

When I see women out with very hairy armpits or legs etc in the summer I do definitely notice, and I feel happy that they feel comfortable to do that and jealousy that I don't!

Viviennemary · 27/04/2021 20:07

Up to you. But gross. And not underarm hair too. That's even worse.

MadeOfStarStuff · 27/04/2021 20:09

Your legs, your choice,

Sad so many voted YABU, it’s no different from men walking round with hairy legs which is completely acceptable

Aquamarine1029 · 27/04/2021 20:11

Because I care what other people think.

I don't give a tiny shite what other people think.

So which is it? Because it can't be both.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 27/04/2021 20:16

If you can brazen it out, let it flow mate.

I'm actually quite jealous. I hate it too, but can't quite get over my socialisation to be brave enough and just say fuck it.

the80sweregreat · 27/04/2021 20:25

I cant be brave with the hair but I have always struggled with pubic hair as creams bring me out in a rash, shaving doesn't seem to work very well , waxing hurts too much ( I'm a wuss) and how women can be completely hair free in that area always baffles me a bit as I've not really mastered it that well. I have to wear low leg swimsuits to feel covered up and not too
self conscious about it.
I hate summer time and all the faff of the body hair.

NeverFlyCoach · 27/04/2021 20:31

I realised long ago I didn't give a shit what strangers think about my body. I occasionally trim back my bush so I can find the important bits, but everything else is pretty feral.

Aisforharlot · 27/04/2021 20:33

I'm hollowly laughing at whoever said epilating makes your hair grow less. I have thick dark hair all over and have been epilating for years. It makes no difference to regrowth.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 27/04/2021 20:40

@booksandnooks

I was bullied by age 7 or 8 for having hairy legs so no wonder the OP is worried about people making comments. I hardly ever shave my legs but I wear trousers all the time. I'm 25, not old or anything but i bleed and get a terrible rash. I shaved 2 days in a row a few years ago and bled for ages all over. My legs come up spotty and sore. It looks so much better with hair! And I don't chafe on my jeans when I have hairy legs. I wish I could be this perfect woman with beautiful hairless legs but I cant- and 2 minutes? who takes 2 minutes? It takes me easily a half hour. More.

I almost always wear trousers, so didn't bother shaving for a while when I had back and hip pain.

Stuff back and hip pain. The pain of a single hair at the back of your leg getting trapped in the weave of the fabric when you have no chance of going to the toilet - and if you do, as soon as you come out again, only to feel another hair trapped - or the sensation when two get twisted together - was enough to get DP to wield his electric shaver on my winter pelt.

Takes all of 2 minutes including cleaning the thing out now because they don't get to the stage where a pair of GHDs could make a difference. It's also much better for applying Psoriasis treatments than a razor or leaving them fallow.

JuicyMcJuiceFace · 27/04/2021 20:46

To answer your question, it doesn't matter if it turns my stomach does it? You do what you want with your own legs. I personally wouldn't dream of it but that's because I think it looks nicer on me to have smooth legs. I feel better and more confident and just prefer to feel groomed

It's no skin off my nose if you feel differently

Mandalay246 · 27/04/2021 20:47

It's up to you, no big deal really. However, how can you possibly be too busy to spend at most a couple of minutes in the shower/bath shaving your legs?

YouWereGr8InLittleMenstruators · 27/04/2021 20:48

Aquamarine, the "I don't care" comment is OP quoting another poster, not her own words, as clarified by OP upthread.

I feel sad when I see women with spotty legs, underarms or groins following hair-removal. If someone reacts badly to a razor, it's such a pity if they still feel obliged to remove their hair. An angry looking, bumpy bikini line, in my mind, is a far sadder look, showcasing internalised misogyny at the behest of patriarchal society, than some hairs growing naturally on a woman's body.

the80sweregreat · 27/04/2021 20:48

Worst bit is the top lip hair.
As you age it gets worse :( one upside of mask wearing at work.

OnceUponAThread · 27/04/2021 21:00

Loads of people saying they find it unattractive and less nice on them, or that shaved legs are more attractive... so it's not a feminist thing... surely that's nonsense.

We have literally been conditioned (largely by the patriarchy) to think that shaved legs or armpits is feminine, groomed, more attractive etc.

And if we're doing it "for ourselves" we've just internalised that societal standard of beauty.

Lots of these things are cyclical and standards of beauty can change. Would be nice if hairy-ness was one of them.

I do remove hair in summer because of that societal standard of beauty etc. I wish I didn't have to TBH. I'd be too embarrassed though.

I don't bother in winter at all. DH says he doesn't mind either way, but I suspect he prefers waxed in reality. But it's never put him off in winter.

Also OP has clearly had a few quote fails which she's explained, so no need for everyone to keep piling on those. It's quite clear.

MsMeNz · 27/04/2021 21:25

I guess it's not socially acceptable, but the fact it's not is super weird I dunno whyus humans do this sort of thing 🤷 make some natural she shameful... Like I don't get why there is a double standard for body hair like why don't men shave their armpits when it's supposed to be done as it's more hygienic some ppl say 🙄

I'd say you do you just be prepared for side eyes and if you can cope with that then more power to you.

Also I think hair colour comes into it I have dark hair on very pale skin so looks rather socially unacceptable but a person who had tanner skin and blond leg hairs would raise less eyebrows I guess.

All the best!

SmileyClare · 27/04/2021 21:40

I love having a bubble bath and shaving my legs with a new razor. It's like pampering for me and I like how my legs feel all smooth after! So some women don't wish they didn't "have to" shave. It's not a chore for me.

Whether women want to partake in the ritual of shaving their legs or not, I really don't think this needs to be framed as a burden society expects of women,. Certainly, after the school playgound, I wouldn't expect a woman to be bullied or ostracized for hairy legs. I don't think I've ever noticed an unshaven leg in public. Legs are not particularly noticeable in day to day interactions.

I think no more of this than hoovering my carpets to make them look better or taking pleasure in pulling up the scraggly weeds in my garden. I suppose there is something innate that makes a hairy man more attractive as its a sign of high testosterone and virility, the opposite is true of women (hairless appears more attractive as it signals low testosterone /femininity) obviously we've evolved from animals but some instincts remain

I don't have an issue with women wanting to look feminine. Or choosing not to.

Original poster

Franklyfrost · 27/04/2021 21:51

@ Mandalay246

It's up to you, no big deal really. However, how can you possibly be too busy to spend at most a couple of minutes in the shower/bath shaving your legs?

Is that not normal? It’s not just two minutes once, it’s lots of two minutes. And I work/study/have kids/no childcare/no cleaner/partner is... oh that’s another story. But spare time is so precious and I don’t want to add any more chores to the list. Even two minute ones.

OP posts:

SmileyClare · 27/04/2021 21:56

If you hate doing it Op and it feels like an awful chore then stop doing it! I certainly won't be inspecting your legs if you walk past me in tesco (carrying my basket of razors and shaving foam)

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