To ask is there a better version of Brighton

[Wondergirl100]

Sorry a bit cheeky to put on AIBU - but - it's an important question!!

Brighton - great vibes, creativity, open mindedness good schools - but overpriced and the countryside isn't amazing and there are no gardens.

So what is the alternative! Where else is open minded and fun and has sea air and countryside but is not ruined by hen dos and property prices. And needs to have good schools.

Sadly, I have to write off the whole of Kent as I don't approve of grammar system. Unless there is somewhere in Kent with good secondary moderns.

[quote Youdose]@Helendee
Yeah, I live in Brighton. It's awful, don't come. Too many parks, and green spaces, the Downs within walking distance, 5 miles of beach, great primaries, inclusive good secondaries that don't just focus on academics but on the whole child because the people here are basically a bunch of hippies who are always banging on about tolerance, acceptance and 'the arts'.
Far too many yoga studios, and gyms, and independent shops, and a council that seems obsessed with the environment and making the roads safer for kids and cyclists. In fact the whole city is obsessed with kids, the month long arts festival literally starts with the children's parade. Every other street has an annual street party now, car free, and monthly 'playing outs' where the little blighters get to run around for the afternoon on traffic free streets.
And don't me started on the new craze for all year round sea swimming... thousands of women of a certain age chucking themselves in the sea together, watching each others kids so that everyone can have a dip, drinking their herbals teas afterwards and encouraging passers by to give it a go. Hippies...[/quote]
Let's hope none of those 'women of a certain age' want the right to have their smears done by an HCP of the same sex, or they will find themselves publicly branded a bigot. Ditto if they want to collect funds for a women's charity.

And I doubt that the tolerance and acceptance are extended to lesbians who want to select sexual partners of the sex, either.

Other than a few religiously conservative communities in small areas of the Midlands and London, I'm struggling to think of anywhere less tolerant and accepting of women than Brighton. Not a culture I would want for my DC, male or female.

Let's hope none of those 'women of a certain age' want the right to have their smears done by an HCP of the same sex, or they will find themselves publicly branded a bigot. Ditto if they want to collect funds for a women's charity.

Oh they've arrived

Every fucking thread. I knew a Brighton one would attract the transphobes.

Brighton was the place where gays were accepted, of course it is the place where people are tolerant of trans people. If you don't like it you can stay in your Daily Mail land with the other bigots. Tunbridge Wells perhaps?

There will be something about how your children will catch trans from all the Brighton children, OP. Watch out for that

Every fucking thread. I knew a Brighton one would attract the transphobes.

Why is it transpohobic to want a a smear test to be carried out by a woman?

No one ever mentions littlehampton on these threads. I rather liked it when I visited a couple of years ago. Lots of period properties, a beach, near the South Downs and Chichester.

@AnyFucker

Morecambe

Or Blackpool though there are hen dos.

Come on, how many trans women are doing smear tests? Tell me that. Worry about some real issues

That was to Erkrie

It is such a testing process to get into a grammar school in the outer London area: Bexley and Dartford, that I just cannot see how the bright sparks are, or could be, all creamed off, leaving the non- academic to the comprehensives. There are going to be many clever kids who don't pass that exacting 11+ test.

Love Morecambe!!!

Name changed for this! I loved Brighton, lived there some years ago when it still had a ropey edge but was fresher than it is now.

The sea, the little shops, the cafes, the cross section of people, the gay scene, the music scene, at the time less violence/crime than London but just as thriving, the Downs are just beautiful, the villages and towns around... seriously one of the best places in the UK to be.

However I left because it can be too cliquey, and too ‘alternative’ to the point that anything sensible can be crushed. Some of my friends still love it, but their children are more exposed to drugs than I’m comfortable with, and yes the trans scene is a bit extreme on young people now which is a shame as it was amazing a few years back, acceptance can pour into narrow cultish.

‘ Let's hope none of those 'women of a certain age' want the right to have their smears done by an HCP of the same sex, or they will find themselves publicly branded a bigot. Ditto if they want to collect funds for a women's charity.’

What a load of balls. I live here, I get smears done here, I belong to women grps here, I fundraise for a women’s DV charity here, I’m a lesbian here - and I can tell you that what you’ve just said is bollocks. Absolute bollocks. No-one is trying to tell us who to have sex with, and where are all these mythical trans women doing intimate examinations in Brighton? It’s a fantastic place to be a gay woman, particularly if you’re raising kids here like my DW and I are.

I lived in Brighton for a few months when I was in my early 20s. I had high hopes for it. But the cost of everything was prohibitive, I couldn't afford to go out much.

As @Rejoiningperson implies, the New Age scene there is very competitive, with people competing to be the most flakey. And there are a lot of fad diets etc.

I love Morecambe too! Although I’ve only been along the front. Not looked at the town centre. Wish that Art Deco hotel had family rooms so we could go for a weekend. We went last year as lockdown was lifted and the circus had been stranded there, the circus workers were performing for passers by and handing out free popcorn to kids!

Just here to point out that yes, Belfast is brilliant, BUT it is particularly HEAVY on the grammar school system, with two different 11+ equivalents!

Also, while vibrant in many wonderful ways, it can be quite surprisingly socially conservative in ways big and small.

There, I feel I have phrased that diplomatically.

@Botherfreedays

I love the way anywhere outside London is at risk of being ' not open minded'. I know the BBC have fed the public a diet of Midsomer Murders and Doc Martin depicting anyone who doesn't live in a city as a superstitious, neurotic, half-wit but come on, there is normal life and most of us function quite well outside of the capital

I think what I tend to think of is that non-urban areas are just quite... white.

I did love living in a village (South of England) but will never forget my neighbour telling me about when he first moved there. He is of African Caribbean heritage. First morning, he gets up and goes for his usual jog... reported to police for suspicious behaviour! He could laugh about it a few years later, but I can imagine that the cultural diversity in cities does often make them feel more 'open minded' especially to people of colour.

Sounds like Weston-Super-Mare might be the place for you. Or maybe Scarborough too?

@BlackInk

Not seaside but how about Stroud in Gloucestershire? Beautiful countryside, strong hippy/alternative vibe, great music and arts scene, lovely independent shops and cafes... Or Totnes in Devon – much the same but with the sea nearby!

I grew up in South Devon . Definitely not open minded .

MissLucyEylesBarrow I am a well known pearl clutcher, of a certain age and generally pretty old fashioned and traditional in outlook and didn'tmuch care for Brighton. But what a very silly comment.

Brighton is really, really horrible.

I lived there for a few years (Hanover) and while it started out fun and whimsical, the reality of the place is depressing and grim. There's a lot of homelessness. It's filthy. It's not safe at night. It's trying very hard to be woo and woke now and 99% of it is just plain tacky. It's impossible to park. Houses cost a ridiculous fortune for a dingy box.

As for the 'near the sea and the downs' thing - well the beach is shit and pebbly, not comfortable to sit down, not very nice to swim off, crowded, stinking of weed in areas, strewn with litter and has a huge tacky pier. This is such a long way from a scenic beach that I can only assume those who enjoy it haven't ever seen a nice beach. The downs are ok but only mildly pretty if you've seen any of the real scenery of the UK.

It's not inclusive it's extremely white, huge poverty divide and very narrowminded. Remember, any mindset that says one way is the right way is narrow. Hence why they've ended up with a Green party that aren't in power anywhere else in the UK, have no idea what to do with it and are fucking up over and over again. The performative 'be what you wanna be' faux vibe in Brighton also seems to invite some rather unpleasant charcters who think it's free licence to indulge in their shitty, socially unacceptable behaviours.

I live in the Scotland now, at the coast. I bought a 5 bedroom detached house with sea views for under 200,000. I wouldn't recommend Brighton for a visit let alone to live there.

Whitstable? Still in the whole Kent grammar thing but two of the more local secondary schools are not grammar and I have to say most if not all the local schools are good. Plus right on the coast and properties with decent gardens mostly!

This is so interesting. Have son in Brighton paying ridiculous rent for a small room. But he loves it there. So was just investigating flat prices. They’re stonkingly steep! It’s a great place, but over-hyped. And the beach is painfully pebbly.

That new housing development is being built for the DFL crowd as
1 as although touted as affordable housing the first wave of released new builds are £450k so outside of locals means to buy.
2 it is being built on a flood plain. Everyone local knows it is a flood plain and even today parts of it are flooded. The developers are relying on out of towners not knowing its history and only finding out when their insurance won’t cover flood damage.
3 the IKEA will mean the roads are gridlocked all weekend.it is already bad for traffic jams but with traffic for 600 homes and an IKEA then you might as well give up trying to get anywhere east of lancing.

I agree, but Lancing in general is way cheaper than Brighton right now and it is not far away. There are no grammar schools and people will start moving there (I know people doing so!). So it is just an idea for op in the spirit of the thread. The IKEA is certainly going to cause traffic issues yes.

I find the Brighton hate on this thread sad! It's got v expensive for a family sized house these days which is why our upgrade will be out of town a bit but it is a nice, open minded city with a lot of benefits and I enjoyed 12 years there. I loved it when my DC were very little, lots going on.

@Stevenetween

There is only one Brighton which is what makes it a very special place to live. Our kids are so lucky to be growing up here, and with such a connection to the sea and countryside. There aren’t too many cities that allow you to swim in the sea everyday, and still have a music and arts scene, green space and neighbourhoods with a real sense of community. Lockdown has just made us all realise that we live in a very unique, and supportive place.

Have always loved Brighton, nearly moved there in 2007 but finances said 'NO!'

Not read whole thread. Brighton is a s**thole of graffiti & squalor. I've never seen so many homeless people. Its worse than London. Hastings is similar on a smaller scale but less of the graffiti etc & much cheaper. Sounds perfect for you. Schools are shite though. Tunbridge Wells is in Kent & has grammar system. It is literally the opposite of what you say you want. Good luck.