Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

AIBU to have the rage with DH

95 replies

FedUpAndTeary · 26/04/2021 10:35

Ok I suspect I am being unreasonable, being 36 weeks pregnant and hormonal. But I have just spent yet another night on the uncomfortable sofa downstairs because DH will not stop farting and stinking out our bedroom. I'm not even joking, it smells so bad he just thinks it's funny. Then he gets mad at me for refusing to stay in the same room as his stench. He doesn't even try to hold them in!

AIBU for expecting him to not stink out our bedroom every single night?

OP posts:

BrumBoo · 26/04/2021 11:47

If you can hold in farts, forever, you're not actually human

They slip out, no one is denying that! Once in a while, not several in a row or 'can't/won't stop' to the point other people have to leave the room. Going to the loo isn't actually a weird suggestion if you're breaking wind so much, you probably need to use the loo regardless. Or see a doctor.

wheniwas17 · 26/04/2021 11:49

Why can't he start out on the sofa instead of farting in the room?

arethereanyleftatall · 26/04/2021 11:49

Wtaf?

Op, the father of your child has just (essentially) told you he's a selfish, inconsiderate, disgusting pig.

You have responded by wondering if it's your fault due to hormones.

Ffs.

A good man would have said 'would it help if I sleep on the sofa every night whilst I'm on this Keto diet?'

InkieNecro · 26/04/2021 11:58

Charcoal tablets in addition to the charcoal underwear?

It's gross, my partner has IBS and he does his utmost to not do that in front of me. Occasionally it happens but it's never deliberate, pretty sure he doesn't want me to be unattracted to him.

Bluedeblue · 26/04/2021 12:09

Of course he can't "hold them in", especially when asleep. I guess he hasn't always been like this though? I would suggest a different diet.

silverbubbles · 26/04/2021 12:10

I totally feel your pain. My husband used to do this. Luckily we have a spare room - I slept in the spare room for a year and he eventually 'understood'.

He is a slow learner.

CheesyWeez · 26/04/2021 12:14

Farts can be held in and my husband and my dad both go outside "for some air" when they want to fart. It is totally possible and, I thought, normal.

OP your DH is being horrible and to then blame you for not liking his behaviour is awful.

Where will the baby sleep when it is born? If you will have a room for the baby then set up a bed in there as well as the cot. You can sleep in this proper bed instead of the stupid sofa. I hate sleeping on sofas. Having a single bed in the baby's room will be helpful too as you can go and feed the baby in the night on a comfy bed and both fall back to sleep.

IF DH doesn't like it that's tough, he's too stinky and inconsiderate.

apooagnuandyou · 26/04/2021 12:14

He's being a twat.

My DH - and most DH I know! - ended up in the spare room when their wives were pregnant and sleeping badly and needed to be completely alone to try to get some sleep.

That's what normal supportive partners do. It's good practice before the baby arrives and you sleep in different rooms when the other one is in charge of night feeds

nevertrustaherdofcows · 26/04/2021 12:16

Don't light a candle. The whole house may go up.

apooagnuandyou · 26/04/2021 12:17

Never heard anything so ridiculous in my life! Bloody hell. Only on MN

good grief, how do you raise your kids!

Don't you tell them to at least leave the room to teach them about unacceptable situations?

Of course people go to the toilets to fart, or try to avoid them, what uncivilised individual farts during meetings or interviews? If you manage that, you can manage to do the same at home!

You might not have control during the night, but there are some very basic manners that are clearly lacking for some people.

stairgates · 26/04/2021 12:17

Do you have a spare room or nursery? I t may be worth putting a single bed in there as the next 4 weeks are going to become increasingly more uncomfortable and I dont think hes going to take the sofa at all.

iklboo · 26/04/2021 12:18

BTW - I do agree he's being an inconsiderate tosser making out it's all OP's problem. He should be on the sofa - eg not go into the bedroom at all.

HoppingPavlova · 26/04/2021 12:18

Is he farting when awake or in his sleep? If awake then YANBU as he could leave the room, if he is asleep YABU as what’s he meant to do?

LookItsMeAgain · 26/04/2021 12:20

This might help you when you're having a serious and sensible conversation with your DH - greatist.com/health/farting-in-sleep

EKGEMS · 26/04/2021 12:26

Striking a match and letting it burn for fifteen seconds usually clears out almost any odor quickly

LST · 26/04/2021 12:28

@apooagnuandyou

Never heard anything so ridiculous in my life! Bloody hell. Only on MN

good grief, how do you raise your kids!

Don't you tell them to at least leave the room to teach them about unacceptable situations?

Of course people go to the toilets to fart, or try to avoid them, what uncivilised individual farts during meetings or interviews? If you manage that, you can manage to do the same at home!

You might not have control during the night, but there are some very basic manners that are clearly lacking for some people.

Like the rest of my family and friends. I have no issues with how I raise my kids. I haven't ever known anyone to teach their kids to go to the loo to fart in their own home. Imo and people I know, it is ridiculous.

apooagnuandyou · 26/04/2021 12:31

I'd rather be ridiculous than having people farting around the house, especially the room I am in .

Diner must be charming in your place!

LemonPartA · 26/04/2021 12:35

He probably can't hold farts in all night, that'll be quite painful but if its stinking tell him he either needs to sort his diet out (cause it shouldn't smell bad!) Or buy these fart filtering undies to wear to bed: www.myshreddies.com/flatulence

TillyTopper · 26/04/2021 12:38

Firmly request that he takes the sofa tonight and you have the bedroom - before he gets in it. That way the room won't stink. Request he makes an appointment at the doctors in order to discuss his bad flatulence problem - and make sure he sticks to it. I'd find that disgusting and frankly it would be a deal breaker for me.

Littlegoth · 26/04/2021 12:39

My poor other half did a stinky fart once early on in my pregnancy. I promptly threw up on him. We were both mortified and neither repeated the action!

He also slept in the spare room from mid pregnancy as I need ALL of the bed.

mamaatthegym · 26/04/2021 12:41

YANBU. He should have slept on the sofa himself.
My OH does the biggest, loudest farts, like a big trumpet. I usually find them hilarious but 8 weeks pregnant and severe morning sickness it’s not quite the same. The thing is I can’t get annoyed because my pregnant sickness farts have been lethal.

Voomster953 · 26/04/2021 12:42

So his guts are chock full of fatty meat and cheese, courtesy of his ridiculous diet and he thinks it’s funny to make his pregnant wife regularly breathe in the smell of the next shit he’ll have?

That is genuinely revolting. I bet he expects you to have sex with him, too, and strops if you can’t stomach it. Vile.

Crinolinelady · 26/04/2021 12:46

Do people really have time to get up and go to the loo when they feel a fart coming on?

silverbubbles · 26/04/2021 12:46

@apooagnuandyou

I'd rather be ridiculous than having people farting around the house, especially the room I am in

Diner must be charming in your place!

I agree. If children are not encouraged to show others basic respect by not farting 'on purpose' in front of others then they grow into adults like your husband who think it is funny and 'OK' to make nasty smells and expect others to suck it up or move to another room.

It is just not a nice way to be - as you have found out!

hellswelshy · 26/04/2021 12:50

Very sorry OP, I do sympathise but this thread has had me howling!! Loved the candle comment

Flip

1 2 3 4