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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have the rage with DH

95 replies

FedUpAndTeary · 26/04/2021 10:35

Ok I suspect I am being unreasonable, being 36 weeks pregnant and hormonal. But I have just spent yet another night on the uncomfortable sofa downstairs because DH will not stop farting and stinking out our bedroom. I'm not even joking, it smells so bad he just thinks it's funny. Then he gets mad at me for refusing to stay in the same room as his stench. He doesn't even try to hold them in!

AIBU for expecting him to not stink out our bedroom every single night?

OP posts:
Original poster
FedUpAndTeary · 26/04/2021 11:13

He doesn't normally fart like this, I think it's his keto diet and all the cabbage stir fries he's eating. The laughing was more "laugh it off" at first, not laughing at me iykwim, and the anger was out of embarrassment I think. He's not normally a loudly break wind kind of guy, but at the moment, once he's in bed, it seems like he farts non stop and I'm just so over it! I don't even know how to not be angry with him right now.

OP posts:
mamas12 · 26/04/2021 11:15

1 he needs to sleep on the sofa from tonight
2 make the bed fresh sheets for you
3 he needs to do something about his diet /see doc

LST · 26/04/2021 11:16

@mildlymiffed

Tell him to go and fart in the toilet like most considerate people. How disgusting. You don't need to calm down, he needs to gain control over his bowels.
I'm sorry... what now? You go to the bog to fart?!
Quartz2208 · 26/04/2021 11:16

It is definitely his diet that is causing this if he is having keto and cabbage. That is causing it and from that perspective he probably doesnt have much control over it.

He does have control over the diet though and I think that is what you need to discuss that he can change this and stop it. he is choosing to eat a keto/cabbage based diet

denverRegina · 26/04/2021 11:16

You're making excuses for him. Keto or not he can get up and go to the bathroom to do his business like anyone else

denverRegina · 26/04/2021 11:17

"I'm sorry... what now? You go to the bog to fart?!"

Don't you?

sparkysalmon · 26/04/2021 11:18

Shreddies make underwear with charcoal to absorb odour

Hoppinggreen · 26/04/2021 11:20

My DH is on Keto and I cant stand the smell of him in general, although to be fair I do have super smell.
If I was pg (when my sense of smell was ridiculous) I probably would ban him from the same room as me.
Your DH is gross, not even worse than that he’s not respecting your reasonable request

Original poster
FedUpAndTeary · 26/04/2021 11:21

@sparkysalmon, thank you, I might insist he gets some.

OP posts:
mildlymiffed · 26/04/2021 11:23

@LST obvs the occasional one pops out (like pp says- sometimes the old bending over to pick up the remote)... but if I'm in bed with dp- I won't just let one rip (again unless accidental!). I'll go to the loo. Just courtesy I think!

DynamoKev · 26/04/2021 11:25

@Angrypregnantlady

If he's asleep, then I wouldn't blame him, obviously. But he knows its bothering you, you're heavily pregnant. It's not alot to ask that he doesn't make you sick with something really completely avoidable, he can go to the loo.

Trap them in the quilt then pull it over his head so he can enjoy the stench to himself.

Indeed - not sure what planet all the "hold it in" and "go to the bathroom" people are on. I don't normally wake up for farts so that would make it bit tricky.

He should let you have the bedroom to yourself for a bit though.

BrumBoo · 26/04/2021 11:30

I also hate deliberate breaking wind. We all do it, and accidental ones are just that (and yes, quite funny). Doing so just because you feel like it, especially when they bloody stink is not unreasonable behaviour from you though. I would have Febrezed the room hard before leaving, let him choke on the nasty mixed fumes. My husband thinks his wind breaking isn't noticeable, but there's several times where I've gone to change the toddler because the room just stinks of shit before he admits it was him. Apparently making smells like that isn't a problem though Hmm.

LST · 26/04/2021 11:30

@denverRegina

"I'm sorry... what now? You go to the bog to fart?!"

Don't you?

No! And no one I know does either. I have bad mobility so there is zero chance I'm going to go to the loo to fart. Not like that is an excuse. I wouldn't expect an Olympic athlete to have to go to the loo to fart.

Never heard anything so ridiculous in my life! Bloody hell. Only on MN.

lolacola77 · 26/04/2021 11:34

What pigs these men are! My vag would clamp shut and be closed for business. Accidental ones are funny but anything else is gross and totally disrespectful.

Sparklfairy · 26/04/2021 11:35

Are keto farts a thing? If anything, carbs make me fart. Could it just be excessive amounts of cabbage??

I feel for you OP. Being banished to the sofa when heavily pregnant just because hes inconsiderate is pretty awful behaviour.

DrSbaitso · 26/04/2021 11:36

@FedUpAndTeary

He doesn't normally fart like this, I think it's his keto diet and all the cabbage stir fries he's eating. The laughing was more "laugh it off" at first, not laughing at me iykwim, and the anger was out of embarrassment I think. He's not normally a loudly break wind kind of guy, but at the moment, once he's in bed, it seems like he farts non stop and I'm just so over it! I don't even know how to not be angry with him right now.
If it's diet based, that's easily solved (can it be a healthy diet if it gives you that much gas?). I'm sure it's possible to eat well in a way that doesn't make it impossible to share a bed. If you're about to have a baby, life is going to change way more dramatically than that.

It's not fair, and not right. The least he could do is take the sofa himself, a heavily pregnant woman shouldn't be relegated to it.

swimlittlefishy · 26/04/2021 11:36

He doesn't even try to hold them in!

I'm not sure you know how human bodies work?

PerveenMistry · 26/04/2021 11:39

"I'm always puzzled by how it gets to the point of procreating with minging men like this, though."

Same here.

It's concerning that he's not automatically giving up the bedroom and staying on the couch. Selfish.

PollyThePony · 26/04/2021 11:40

@Quartz2208

It is definitely his diet that is causing this if he is having keto and cabbage. That is causing it and from that perspective he probably doesnt have much control over it.

He does have control over the diet though and I think that is what you need to discuss that he can change this and stop it. he is choosing to eat a keto/cabbage based diet

I agree with this. He probably can't help farting, especially when he's asleep. But he can help his diet.

I used to know someone who did keto and their breath was honestly disgusting. I couldn't sit in the same room as them. I know it helps with weight loss and that might be needed, but sweet jesus, I just don't think anything which makes you smell like that can be doing you any good! It was like jeyes fluid. Another friend said it was like the small of heart disease (if heart disease had a smell, this would be it), and I agree!

stackemhigh · 26/04/2021 11:41

Tell him that he has to sleep on the sofa every night.

Open the windows now to air the room so you can sleep in your bed tonight.

iklboo · 26/04/2021 11:41

All those people who go to the bog to fart - you do realise your bodies will quite likely be doing it while you're fast asleep, don't you? It doesn't care where you fart.

BrumBoo · 26/04/2021 11:42

@swimlittlefishy

He doesn't even try to hold them in!

I'm not sure you know how human bodies work?

If you cannot hold in several farts, there's something physically wrong with you. It's like taking a 30 minute shit, men people manage to get about their business quickly and subtly enough when at work and similarly, or when initially starting to date someone, yet when in a longterm relationship they suddenly 'can't help what they do'. Sure thing.
swimlittlefishy · 26/04/2021 11:43

If you cannot hold in several farts, there's something physically wrong with you

If you can hold in farts, forever, you're not actually human.

iklboo · 26/04/2021 11:46

It's actually quite bad for your health to hold in farts ad infinitum.

We pass wind because of the gas in our bodies that builds up throughout the day. The NHS says the average person lets off around a pint of intestinal gas a day. ... "If you hold in a fart you can cause yourself heartburn, bloating and pain. The gas could come out as a smelly burp and make your breath stink".

excuseforfights · 26/04/2021 11:46

I have IBS, and can have terrible gas. I can usually hold in a fart until I get to the loo. Can’t help it when I’m asleep.

However, if my husband asked me to sleep in the spare room I would absolutely do it. I find people’s farts disgusting so would sympathise with him.