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Original poster

To feel embarrassed by birthday gift?

102 replies

DeerestMartha · 25/04/2021 17:36

I feel so embarrassed ...

It was DDs 8th birthday on Friday and two of her friends have birthdays the same week so yesterday we arranged to meet a couple of her friends and their parents at a local attraction (within the rule of 6).

The girls exchanged cards and each of them had money inside. I had given both other girls £5 each along with some sweeties.

My DD received £10 from both of her friends 😳 .

My DD thanked them and nothing was said by either children or parents but I feel very guilty.

For context , one child’s parents are in high flying jobs, the other is mid income and I am very low income.

Would you be bothered if this was your child? I can’t shake the shame !

OP posts:
ElderMillennial · 25/04/2021 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lknocsqq11 · 25/04/2021 17:39

STOP COVID POLICING EVERY THREAD.

Koolandorthegang · 25/04/2021 17:40

Nothing to be embarrassed about OP, you gave sweets as well. That wouldn’t bother me at all.

HareInTheForm · 25/04/2021 17:40

They got a gift which they should appreciate and thank you for. End of.

There is absolutely no need to judge yourself.

purpleme12 · 25/04/2021 17:41

If it was my child receiving £5 I wouldn't be bothered at all
Because I don't have expectations
Why would I?
I think it's very wrong if people do

Doublechins · 25/04/2021 17:43

@ElderMillennial

Isn't the rule of 6 also that you are to be from no more than two households?

I wouldn't worry about the gift. You gave what you thought was a reasonable amount and so did they. It could have gone the other way and you gave sweets as well...

FGS 🙄 No the rule is up to 6 people or only two households if there are more than 6.

OP I wouldn't care if I'd put £10 in the card and my child got an empty card it's the thought that counts.

Purplepjs · 25/04/2021 17:44

I don’t think you have anything to worry about at all OP. If my child received £5 when I’d gifted £10, I would not bat an eye.

LittleRa · 25/04/2021 17:44

@ElderMillennial

Isn't the rule of 6 also that you are to be from no more than two households?

I wouldn't worry about the gift. You gave what you thought was a reasonable amount and so did they. It could have gone the other way and you gave sweets as well...

No, it’s not. Six from any number of households up to 6- could be six single people from six different houses. OR two households can add up to more than 6 eg family of 5 and family of 4 = 9 people.
100Roses · 25/04/2021 17:44

ElderMillennia from gov website,
You can meet up outdoors with friends and family you do not live with, either:

in a group of up to 6 from any number of households (children of all ages count towards the limit of 6)
in a group of any size from up to two households (each household can include an existing support bubble, if eligible)

She was within the rules!

ElderMillennial · 25/04/2021 17:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JackieTheFart · 25/04/2021 17:44

I could honestly not be less bothered and my kid would be ecstatic!

I did post on here a couple of years ago because one of my kids got a £20 note as a gift from a not close friend and that was far too much!

JackieTheFart · 25/04/2021 17:45

@ElderMillennial because it’s not in the slightest bit relevant and the event has already happened anyway.

Sally872 · 25/04/2021 17:45

Perfect birthday gift, don't think any more about it. Doesn't matter others gave more.

AlmostSummer21 · 25/04/2021 17:45

@DeerestMartha

I feel so embarrassed ...

It was DDs 8th birthday on Friday and two of her friends have birthdays the same week so yesterday we arranged to meet a couple of her friends and their parents at a local attraction (within the rule of 6).

The girls exchanged cards and each of them had money inside. I had given both other girls £5 each along with some sweeties.

My DD received £10 from both of her friends 😳 .

My DD thanked them and nothing was said by either children or parents but I feel very guilty.

For context , one child’s parents are in high flying jobs, the other is mid income and I am very low income.

Would you be bothered if this was your child? I can’t shake the shame !

Please don't worry 💐

Even if we had a similar income I wouldn't care, let alone if I knew we weren't. Putting money in cards is always a minefield.

Please stop thinking about it 💐

ElderMillennial · 25/04/2021 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

modgepodge · 25/04/2021 17:47

@ElderMillennial

FGS 🙄 No the rule is up to 6 people or only two households if there are more than 6.

I only asked and only because OP mentioned it. Why are people so hostile about covid rules??

Because other people derail threads to comment on them breaking the rules (or not, in your case) when it’s irrelevant to the question being asked.
Boboparadise · 25/04/2021 17:48

No need to be embarrassed at all. You also gave sweets...stop worrying

100Roses · 25/04/2021 17:48

It was mentioned presumably to stop the covid police jumping on and chastising them for meeting up...

Lknocsqq11 · 25/04/2021 17:49

@ElderMillennial

FGS 🙄 No the rule is up to 6 people or only two households if there are more than 6.

I only asked and only because OP mentioned it. Why are people so hostile about covid rules??

Because we’re all sick to death of every thread coming with a side order of Covid-based scolding/PA enquiry. It’s tiresome, it’s depressing and it’s unnecessary.
Fundays12 · 25/04/2021 17:49

It wouldn't bother me at all. I gave £10 in a card to a nursery friend of Ds yesterday. I can easily afford it. I would be horrified if a parent was pushing themselves financially to give my child a gift.

Persephoned · 25/04/2021 17:50

Honestly don’t give it another thought OP. It’s absolutely fine, the other kids and parents will just think it’s nice they’ve got a gift.

ChocOrange1 · 25/04/2021 17:50

@ElderMillennial

FGS 🙄 No the rule is up to 6 people or only two households if there are more than 6.

I only asked and only because OP mentioned it. Why are people so hostile about covid rules??

Because we are fed up of hearing about them, especially when people aren't even right.
mumofthemonsters808 · 25/04/2021 17:50

No need to worry, nothing to be embarrassed about, you give what you can afford to.There has been times when I’ve been on my arse and had to scrape a gift together, there has been others when I’ve been earning, so the kid has got a decent present.Don’t beat yourself up, you’re overthinking this.

Orchidflower1 · 25/04/2021 17:50

[quote ElderMillennial]@JackieTheFart If it's not relevant why did OP mention it. It was mentioned and therefore it was relevant...

Again not sure why people have to be hostile about it. I was asking, not being nasty at all.[/quote]
My thoughts exactly.

To @DeerestMartha please don’t worry. You did nothing wrong. If you really can’t shake the monetary point from your head think of it this way- the “high” earner gave the same a the medium earner. This shows that the amount really doesn’t matter- it’s the thought.

Hope your little one had a lovely birthday.

CrazyTitsLiz · 25/04/2021 17:51

@ElderMillennial

Isn't the rule of 6 also that you are to be from no more than two households?

I wouldn't worry about the gift. You gave what you thought was a reasonable amount and so did they. It could have gone the other way and you gave sweets as well...

Two households OR six people.
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