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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To feel embarrassed by birthday gift?

102 replies

DeerestMartha · 25/04/2021 17:36

I feel so embarrassed ...

It was DDs 8th birthday on Friday and two of her friends have birthdays the same week so yesterday we arranged to meet a couple of her friends and their parents at a local attraction (within the rule of 6).

The girls exchanged cards and each of them had money inside. I had given both other girls £5 each along with some sweeties.

My DD received £10 from both of her friends 😳 .

My DD thanked them and nothing was said by either children or parents but I feel very guilty.

For context , one child’s parents are in high flying jobs, the other is mid income and I am very low income.

Would you be bothered if this was your child? I can’t shake the shame !

OP posts:
grecianurn82 · 25/04/2021 18:47

No, i wouldn't give this a second thought tbh.

Crazycrazylady · 25/04/2021 18:47

Honestly someone could post about the 7 surgeons operating on her ill child and someone would point out that it breaks the rule of 6.. can not every thread revert back to Covid policing!

SamW98 · 25/04/2021 18:53

@Crazycrazylady

Honestly someone could post about the 7 surgeons operating on her ill child and someone would point out that it breaks the rule of 6.. can not every thread revert back to Covid policing!
I'm laughing because that's the absolute truth. Someone could collapse in the street and be given the kiss of life and someone would complain they took their masks off

I can't wait for the day that the self appointed social media COVID police don't have any reason to comment 'Can't see any social distancing' 24/7

Coulddowithanap · 25/04/2021 18:56

I'd be more annoyed if my child didn't say thank you for the gift no matter what it cost.

£5 is perfectly acceptable.

Eaumyword · 25/04/2021 18:58

This!

Eaumyword · 25/04/2021 19:00

Haha, quote fail! I meant to agree that £5 and sweets is fab, the child would be thrilled with that and I'd hate to think anyone was stretching themselves to afford a more expensive gift.

Dobbyisahouseelf · 25/04/2021 19:00

Don't be embarrassed OP and only give what you can afford. Everyone has different budgets and I think it was nice of you to give money and sweets.

When my DD was young I often bought presents in the sale so I spent a little less but the birthday child still got a nice present.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 25/04/2021 19:03

Because we’re all sick to death of every thread coming with a side order of Covid-based scolding/PA enquiry. It’s tiresome, it’s depressing and it’s unnecessary.

God, YES!

Orchidflower1 · 25/04/2021 19:08

If people stopped actually having a go at @ElderMillennial then the thread wouldn’t derail! Me rail is a nasty, mean comment and @Elder only queried the op.

MNHQ
DawnMumsnet · 25/04/2021 19:08

Evening all,

Not sure if the OP's coming back but just in case she does, let's try to get the thread back on track.

And OP, as everyone else has said, £5 plus sweets is absolutely fine! Smile

Orchidflower1 · 25/04/2021 19:15

@DawnMumsnet she probably won’t be coming back. Not because of @ElderMillennial and her questions but because of the pile on that dug her out!

Orchidflower1 · 25/04/2021 19:17

@DeerestMartha if you do come back, I second a top tip from upthread of buying a few bits in the sale. I bought gender neutral gifts in the sale. Just a few but a) it save you money and b) when your child is older and they have an invitation festering in their school tray and then produce it you have a gift to give!

littlepattilou · 25/04/2021 19:18

@DeerestMartha

I feel so embarrassed ...

It was DDs 8th birthday on Friday and two of her friends have birthdays the same week so yesterday we arranged to meet a couple of her friends and their parents at a local attraction (within the rule of 6).

The girls exchanged cards and each of them had money inside. I had given both other girls £5 each along with some sweeties.

My DD received £10 from both of her friends 😳 .

My DD thanked them and nothing was said by either children or parents but I feel very guilty.

For context , one child’s parents are in high flying jobs, the other is mid income and I am very low income.

Would you be bothered if this was your child? I can’t shake the shame !

Don't worry. £5 + sweets is fine. Smile

Kids don't care, sweets and money is fab. No child is gonna say 'eww only a fiver from Martha. Bleh..... ' Grin

Original poster
DeerestMartha · 25/04/2021 19:22

Wow this thread moved fast ! Grin

It’s good to know I shouldn’t be embarrassed. I usually aim for around £10 but I have so many bills to pay lately I thought £5 would be acceptable.

OP posts:
paralysedbyinertia · 25/04/2021 19:25

It's more than acceptable, OP.

Tbh, at that age, my dd didn't have much idea of the value of money, so she'd have been much happier with a fiver and some sweets than she would with the tenner. Kids don't necessarily see things in the same way that adults see them, and adults are old enough to understand that everyone has different circumstances.

Orchidflower1 · 25/04/2021 19:27

@DeerestMartha

Wow this thread moved fast ! Grin

It’s good to know I shouldn’t be embarrassed. I usually aim for around £10 but I have so many bills to pay lately I thought £5 would be acceptable.

Totally acceptable.
Orchidflower1 · 25/04/2021 19:28

Did your dc enjoy their birthday?

zaffa · 25/04/2021 19:31

@ElderMillennial

Isn't the rule of 6 also that you are to be from no more than two households?

I wouldn't worry about the gift. You gave what you thought was a reasonable amount and so did they. It could have gone the other way and you gave sweets as well...

No it is not. The rule of six could either be an unlimited number of people from just two households or up to six people from different households. You should do your research if you wish to police others' covid rule adherence....
Orchidflower1 · 25/04/2021 19:32

I think @ElderMillennial gets the point guys- leave her be.

littlepattilou · 25/04/2021 19:36

@DeerestMartha

Wow this thread moved fast ! Grin

It’s good to know I shouldn’t be embarrassed. I usually aim for around £10 but I have so many bills to pay lately I thought £5 would be acceptable.

I hope your daughter had a fab birthday! Grin Flowers
FizzyApricot · 25/04/2021 19:45

£5 is fine! £5 + Sweeties is basically £10 anyway. And no one has any idea how much the card cost.

wingsnthat · 25/04/2021 19:48

What’s the point of presents if you’re all going to give each other a £10 note though? You’re just essentially swapping notes between you

MrsDSalvatore · 25/04/2021 19:49

It's the thought that counts 💕

SocraticJunkieWannabe · 25/04/2021 19:53

Absolutely no need to be embarrassed as you gave sweets as well which evens the whole thing out. Please don't give it another thought!

bullyingadvice2017 · 25/04/2021 19:56

I have been better off with kids and a low income single mum with kids.
Your gift is fine, I would have thought that when I was in the better off position too.